Dying was the last thing I wanted to do

Well when you're dead you're dead
They can't kill you anymore
Still I wish I had had some warning
Before I opened the garage door
How was I to know about the giant anvil overhead
Hanging by a horses hair, the thinnest of threads?
Well what would you have done, I ask you
Dying was the last thing I wanted to do

It was the first thing on my mind in the morning
And I thought about it all the previous night
I could have done with some kind of warning
Would have been nice to have seen a head light
But I suppose it serves me right, walking along the railway tracks
With my ear phones plugged in, but no train in front in sight
How was I meant to know, they come from behind as well, I ask you!
Dying was the last thing I wanted to do

You know its something you can't explain
Like a bullet in your brain
Or swallowing razor blades
Why do some people do these things while seeming so sane
While on the inside they must turning crazy blue shades
I thought I'd go and see a pschotherapist
But instead I saw a psychopathic hypnotist
Who put me in a trance then proceeded to dance
Me off the nearest cliff, well I didn't see that one coming, did you?
Dying was the last thing I wanted to do

I went into the undertakers to see about a coffin

It was pretty cold that day and the guy couldn’t keep from coughin’

So, when he took himself off for a little R n R

I undertook myself to try out a coffin as like it was a sports car

So, I lay myself down inside it and folded all my limbs in

When to my surprise snap down the lid came just like a pedal bin

Well I thought if its going to happen it might as well be here

I only wish that it wasn't so sound proof and that guy could hear
But luckily my phone still had signal so I whatsapped my old dear
She said "Talk about jumping the gun! That's just like you!"

And I said: "Until my dying day, dying was the last thing I wanted to do"