Don't put Truespeed in my grave

 They send Truespeed through my grave

They send Truespeed to my grave

I was trying to get a moments rest

Then this buzzing came into my nest

They send Truespeed through my grave

I worked my whole life long

Just to sing you this song

Can't you see I don't need it anymore

I got no need for your speed

I've already left the shop floor

You don't want to disturb the departed anymore

Don't you wish you were down here with me

Just lying in rest for eternity

And how would you feel if someone came up to your plot

And started to dig a hole in the only soul you've got

Oh don't put True speed through my grave, don't put Truespeed through my grave

Come on now Dave don't put Truespeed through my grave

Don't put Truespeed through my grave, don't put truespeed in my cat

don't put Truespeed anywhere near that, hello cat

Ah you can dig up all the gardens, you can dig up all the drains

Even concrete hardens under the falling rains

Break apart the roads, or carry heavy loads

But don't you put true speed in my grave

There has gotta be one place on this fine earth

That I can get away from the internet of worth

Just don't put Truespeed in my grave

Oh such a quiet place it was when I first came here

Hardly anyone around me, no nobody was near

But then they kept on dying and filling up the plots

And I'm only sighing because its the only thing I've got

Oh Give me peace and quiet, 

Give me peace and eternal rest

I don't need your digging your drilling I will buy it

Just like I bought the farm and the rest

Oh don't you put Truespeed in my grave

don't you put Truespeed in my grave

I don't need to find the nearest shop to save

my pennies anymore,

 I've got no need for food and anyway I'm far too poor

Yes don't put Truspeed in my, don't put Truspeed in my,

don't put Truespeed in my grave

I don't need to follow the football on sky TV

I don't need  three, four or even five G

There's no need for broadband

And I can dial up for free

I count on my fingers oh one two three

don't you put Truespeed, don't you put Truespeed  in my grave

I've got a direct line to God

I don't need no internet provider to tell me how it's shod

Or give me a good footing

in six foot of soil

I don't want to foot the bill

For all your toil

don't put Truespeed  in my grave

 I've got much less than I had before

But in many ways I've got so much more

Yes I've got my peace and quiet 

and I'm left in peace yes

I just hope that they don't start the digging that will never cease

Don't put True speed in my grave

The magic stone

 The stone lay there on the burnt hillside

She was the only survivor of the fire tide

And this was a magic stone

That had been enchanted by a witch

Who laid it there after her lover died

And it gave all love to those who touched it

The magic passed on as it went

It was turned over and over again

Its painted runes and images

Left it up turned and faced

Picked up and dropped by passers by

Who inspected it and said the words to themselves

In a half sleepy, half enchanted manner

And then forgot what they were doing

And dropped the stone back

on the side of the path

And in that way the stone got all its words out

It was being picked up and passed on from hand to hand

palm to palm and left back in the grass for hours or days sometimes

Over night the snails crawled over it or birds landed on it

And pecked their beaks against it

But it remained a stone, a magic stone

Til one day the witch returned to reclaim it

She took it up in the middle of the night 

Under an oak tree and wept for her long lost lover whom she

knew not where he was but was off adventuring some place

And all the people who had touched the stone passed on

and talked to another

And somehow they passed this magical story on

As they spoke or shook hands with others

There was the look in the eye as if something passed between them

Something unknown and unspoken

Yet still there was a feeling and this sense

That they were searching out this unknown man

and his whereabouts - Have you seen him?

Their look seemed to ask

Though it was so quick that not much could be done

Yet even though it was quick it passed on to the next

and then the next, and then the next in succession

Until handshakes all around the world were shook

And greetings and meeting eyes exchanged their glances

Until at last one of the handshakes shook the hand of the missing man

The missing lover

He was a great northpole explorer who had given up his hiking shoes

To return to life in Cambodia

He was fishing now on the sea

And he shook hands with a traveller from America

It seemed

Who had frequented the bar where he dropped in

On the beach side

Called the Cambodia Inn

And he laughed to see him there

And he shook his long black hair

And the black cats stared at him

As black cats do, who know that

Witches wishes come true

And they are wise in their ways, 

and in their treading paths

And they say this Cambodian cat can see

with two eyes in to the Siamese sunrise

And the fisherman now who was really the long lost lover

Looked into the eyes of the man who said

Have you seen him?

Seen who he asked outright

Seen the witch's missing lover

The witch's missing lover it rang a bell

That once he had loved a woman

and had fallen under her spell

long, long ago, and he could tell

That this was perhaps the very same woman

Yes he said it is I, I did not realise she was a witch

I did not realise what I had lost when I did switch

Somehow I betrayed her love to leave for my own adventuring life

For I wished to reach the Northpole and to explore many regions of the

world unknown

I wished for fame and glory and yet it cost my soul

Well the witch wants you back

Said the American

The witch wants me back?! How could I , how can I go back now?

And yes he said well what will you do now?

But before he asked the question,

He knew he must find the witch

Or that the witch now knew his whereabouts

For she had enchanted the stone

And somehow this news would travel back

Through all the black cats she had known in the past

Through their eyes and their looks

And their walks upon the wall

And they would come back and deliver her

Her lover and all, deliver her lover and all

So gradually when the American left the explorer

Whose name was Nathan

He passed back and saw the people in his hotel

And they said who have you seen?

I've seen the lover, the long lost lover. 

And he passed this news on with a shake of the hand

and a look of his eye to his other travelling companions

and they went their separate ways

And both shook and looked and took and gave

Their glances and

took their chances and had romances

all the way to France's shores from Cambodia

All across the Asian continent

All across the Russian Steps and up into the Scottish Highlands

Where the magical stone slept

Until they touched the stone again

And it turned

it turned over on itself

And began to spin, and began to shine

And then began to bleed

Like a lonely heart into the soil

And turned it red

And when the witch was passing next

She saw around the stone that bled

The blood of the love that was lost

Her own blood for the stone 

Was her heart you see

And he saw her heart was bleeding

Under the oak tree on the hill

And she picked it up

And put it back inside her chest

And said

I'll keep the blood flowing through me

For my blood is blessed

And I'll show the way into the light

The light of loveliness

And so went, and so we went, and so

We went and we went

And the woman came back

And the man returned

For he had lost and he had learned

That losing love is like being burned

And soon he would know that hell hath no fury

Like a woman scorned

And so he came into the Isles

Of Britain with its smiles

And with opening arms, it welcomed him back

And sure enough the charms

They jacked and saw him off, and saw him in

On the boats where he sailed

Within

And said to them

Now what is this?

I am in search of the witch

Who cast a spell and I knew well

I found no log to slumber under

She asked me to return a while

And so I did, and so I did

And in the moon light the witch now

Flew upon her broom

And the wind that grew into a gale

and flew and flailed at her sides

But she held on for she was strong

And she threw, and she threw

love down there, and she threw it

in his hair

This dust that dropped

This magic pixie dust

that fell from the sky 

like starlight

And it landed upon the travelling man who was

wandering there without a plan

Except what the black cats told him

Which was to travel North

until it enfolds him in the clouds and the swirling sky

And above he felt the star dust lie

Upon his brow

Upon his head

He looked around and then he said

Is that you my long lost lover?

My witch queen who I discovered

Is that you who love ago told me

I her heart had stole

And that I would forgo the love

If I went my own way

She said yes it's me

Who you betrayed

And my heart it bleeds almost everyday

For it was stone but now its blood

And perhaps there is life after the flood

For tears have welled up and the rivers run dry

And perhaps the blood of life cannot die

And suddenly the love was given to him

And she flew like a bird on the wing

And picked him up

Upon her broom stick

And they sailed away 

into the moon's ocean play

As it rolled on through swirling clouds above

And they kissed in the sky

And they made love

As only a witch can do

On the fourth day of June

After a new moon

And Soon it will be

A midsummer's day

And you will still see them

Up there in play

The lovers swoon

Under the moon

They say

They say

Yes the lovers swoon 

Under the moon

They say

Pathetic fallacy

 Oh what a pathetic fallacy

They said the day would never come

That climate change fiction

Had us under its thumb

But I don't need a weatherman

To tell me when to run

Oh what a pathetic fallacy

They said it was true

But then I felt blue

Under the oppressive rain clouds which drew

Like a curtain across the sky

Like in the theatre when the play is done

Oh what a pathetic fallacy

They Said cheer up chum it may never happen

When the lightning was flashing and the thunder a-clappin'

And my thought's they turned mad like when Hamlet lost his dad

Oh what a pathetic fallacy

Then in the desert like heats that came

I was wont to remember even my own name

Quick to anger and he was the same

Who pointed to the wilting crops and cried

Who's to blame?

Oh what a pathetic fallacy

So was it true or was it false?

Well the evidence of change has revealed itself

And fact or fiction, we prick and bleed

The dream is real, we feel and need

The time is running out 

And the sun it is a setting

On a day that seemed to last

Forever for forgetting

With four seasons and four walls

Fortitude and forty falls

Of the human who came from Eden

Oh what a pathetic fallacy

My single use plastic heart

 It is recycling day tomorrow

And I'm trying to decide where to put 

you

is it a glass heart, or plastic?

Perhaps a carboard heart after all

A single use plastic heart

That just clogs up the world's oceans

When I flush it down the loo

I say ban single use plastic hearts

Perhaps that's not a radical view

Many have come to that conclusion before me

Including you

Well it could have been made of

recycled plastic

It's been used many times before

It goes soggy in the rain

Like the cardboard

And like glass I'm sure its see through

Just which heart shaped box

Should I toss it in?

Which one

Before I buy one anew?

Boris Johnson

 He was judged by his scandals and not his candles

Just like a movie scene

 While I had the power

While I had the dream

I loved you in the tower

I loved you like a queen

But the snow kept on falling

And it was a snow white seen

It all seems like a movie scene

I should have seen you coming

You should have known where I'd been

But it doesn't really matter my queen

The dawn is early calling

And the night is so obscene

It all seems just like a movie scene

I feel I'm going somewhere but 

I'm so dirty never clean

With all this guilt I have known

Things I have done, things I say but never mean

Just like in a movie scene

Will you hold me once again

Or let me fall into the stream

It all is unknown in the falling rain

Can you light a candle, help me remember my dream

Just like in a movie scene

Not yet

The red night setting

The lights are getting dim

I'm like a field mouse 

And the thresher, the thresher is setting in

The storm is blowing wetter

And I'm soaked to the skin

Well I'm getting better, I bet

But I'm not there yet

The fireflies are fighting

With spitfires in the din

The kettle is testing the metal

Of the pressure cooker it is in

The tyres loose their fetters

And the wheels wildly spin

Well I would let her write me a letter of regret

But I'm not there yet

Don't forget me, I keep saying, repeating like a toy, 

like an action man my setter is set only to destroy

Build a thing, make a win

And hold me close don't be coy

But I ducked the daisy cutter

When she picked me out with joy 

Oh when I met her I was a debtor, 

I will forget her, I will forget

But I'm not there yet

Concrete dreams

Come on raise this building

Like a Moses foundation

Pillars of Salt

And pillars of rock

The three little pigs in a housing shock

Negative equity of Goldilocks

Rising inflation forced onto bears

Some of them built Shepton Mallet

The town

Sheep rustlers, shearers, 

Property of the crown

Strode was there with flowing hair

Looking down

Upon the poor who flocked to her door

Including the Ugly duckling

Black swan, white swan not seen anymore

Only on the pub signs swinging above the door

Periwinkle, weasel, wren and Robin

In the twisting clematis hob-gobble

Hoblin, goblin, shaven head

What dreams we have, when we are dead

Dying, trying to be new

Shepton Mallet, pallet crew

Shifting cider

Shifting saw

Bed pan, dustpan, bread pan more

Whistle down the truckers road

Hard granite town

Prince from a toad

Someone dreamt of a cinema

Another of a theatre

Built an enormous house

That turned into a monster

Some say its hideous, oh what an eye-sore

What do we need a fairy tale

We have Ugly post modernism to abhor

I'm not sure

It is a ball and chain

Tying the town down

It is almost a shame, almost a game

A mirror of the Church somehow

Except a warped being bent and contorted

Not given full form

Like a nineteen eighties computer game

Grasping at perfection

In replication, Ironic in it's supplication to

perfection, acknowledging limitation

Yet that was cool back then

Now it is a record of a time before

It is like a tetras castle fallen out of the sky

Landed like a giant parcel, some knowledge of 

an American Apple pie

But incoherent and intransigent,

And in, in , in itself  out of place

In congruent

But let's not worry ourselves

It was somebody else's concrete dream

And we no longer see the seams

It has been sewn into the fabric of life

Now it is a gym, it has turned into

It's own image of itself at last

A modern church - a temple to the body

The material wealth

Of protein and carbohydrate

Packed inside, prayed to 

Heated up baked in the crucible

Of exercise and self-belief

The Great I, the great I am

As we climb mount Ego

On the steps

As we let off steam

As we lose sweat by the buckets

On the exercise bike

Perhaps we lose our selves

We forget the boredom of days

That put on the fat

We negate with positive prayer, the mantra, I will get there

One step at a time

Like a stair way to heaven

Built of tetras bricks

That have fallen down for our sake

To climb, to work out

Rearrange angles, remake

So perhaps this ex theatre really is our modern church

as close as we can make it

Though I am yet to see John the Baptist

Lift a Bar bell in there

Although you never can tell of course

More trees please

 The trees, the trees

Send them in

The ides of March are wearing thin

The pine and larch and ever green

Where are they now that I have seen?

The roads are bare, we cry take heed!

They can't bear our load

Or meet our need

No shadows now are drawing long

Only the night's blessings to keep us strong

Each day a furnace of solar fire

Baking the roads where cars are for hire

And more and more roads we lay down

In Roman fare of overcrowded town

And what of the so called wasteland?

These are not nothings we hold in our hand

Even a glebe or a bramble strewn field

Can be turned into a woodland of cooling heal

We think we can live just as we did before

But this is just folly of standing on threshold of the door

We either wait out side and decide our future dies

And that of generations yet unborn we sacrifice

Or we make a stand here and now 

and say no more building put away your spade and trowel

Let's reuse the old buildings let's plant more trees

Let's put our heads together and this problem might ease

Fly estate agent

 Why don't flies become estate agents?

They seem to really like visiting my house

And letting themselves in, looking around 

quickly from room to room

Then diving out a window

Once upon a time in Shepton Mallet

 Swooning in the afternoon

Following flies with my eyes

Hearing, clearing

The Foreign words

Hollow

She is standing there 

Someone fragile

Yet strong

Every woman

Everywhere a vase

And I am the eye of Babylon

Piercing in the quickness of a care

Piercing in the shallows of the stream

Woken broken with a care, from a shallow dream

Lapping in the inch high water of life

It flows just about, just married wife

Just divorced, just about on speaking terms

Just

And cutting the kite string it floats up

Into the stratosphere and I no longer

Think I know my own face

I have forgotten it

And so will you one day

Cinderella works in the barbers

Sweeping up the hair

The Verger mutters to himself

As he spreads the butter knife

The collared dove is cooing

The Polish sit on gravestones

Their Labradors open doors

To the afterlife

The Queen of Sheba is up there

She used to be a harlot you know

The night comes in

Her clothes come off

And the world moves on with its show

Cleopatra works in Ladbrokes the gamblers

She's taking bets on the horses

Raising the stakes on a possible invasion

While Rapunzel is in the hairdressers

She's arguing with Cinderella

Buggs Bunny walks in looking for something funny

But they use the stick and not the carrot on him

The Dardanelles are the good fellas

Every town needs its gangsters

Here they are supplying drugs to minors

Here's Peter Pan stoned out of his mind

On the park bench, With Tinkerbelle

Sprawled in a Corner

Wendy saw them, then ran to the barbers

To tell them the Church was on fire

They rang hell's bells, the fire brigade

And came hurtling down the street on their engines

Their ladders were reaching up to the tower

Where Rapunzel was waiting

Prince Charming he came shouting

Ranting while running down stairs

What's all this I hear about farmers

And what's that I heard about bears?

Well the three bears have moved 

Into the neighbourhood

And now Goldilocks goes to school in the wood

She tried to stay white, for they said they don't bite

But she ended up bitten quite good

Now Red Riding Hood is a mummy

And she works in the seven eleven

She's got to make sales targets this month

Or her little dwarves will have empty tummies

Oh yes she's relying on benefits

I mean her husband is an ex miner,

He mined all the coal, now it's snow white as his soul

And Snow White's has turned rather black

You see the wolf with baleful eyes

Something's eating him up deep inside

As he marauds down the street

Looking for meat, or just looking

For the life he was owed

Don't worry young man,

Oh young rabbit

For you're living in Shepton Mallet

It was tinsel town once

But now the time is upon us

And the clocks face has turned away from the sun

Even the sun dials are broken

And astronomy is all out of whack

I'd like a time machine, visit a time so green

When fairy tales didn't end up so black

Lost for words, they're burning the books

Salisbury plain in the rain

And the foreign hoards

The hair dresser in a Salon

One of Seventeen

They were different there

They told her she talked too fast

She needed to slow down

I asked her if she knew any blacksmiths

No

There weren't so many horses in Salisbury I concluded

The conversation 

Began to feel awkward

Though perhaps that was started when I tried to pay

With a fire damaged book

I mean barren down

That's where I found it

And I didn't want to go

in there empty handed

She was sweeping up human hair

and I was dropping charred words

And paper on her floor

From Collins 500 word search puzzles

I like the idea that the word search survived the fire

So that when we are lost for words

At all the devastation in life

We can keep searching for them

And eventually we might solve the puzzle

I hobbled back into the rain on my crutches

and got the twelve pounds out the bank

To pay the nice hair dresser lady

She told me the bull dog statue was for the Bath and West

The fire, I didn't see it

Only the black singed earth

The smouldering and then the smell of sulphur

Addictive somehow

Barren Down

A Barrow

The dead may now be cremated as well as buried

And you can see the Glastonbury Tor

It is torn from Autumn brown

They're burning books in Shepton Mallet

The fosse way

They are turning the pages

of history black

They're making a stink

Painting it pink

And the Goblins are wanting it back

The green fingers 

Of book worms

The witches are running in turns

Hailing the flax

Railing the haystacks

Smoking like chimneys in packs

They are burning the books

In Shepton Mallet

But don't tell them

They can't read them

Their libraries closed

And the Filo fax

Is out of order in poets corner

And I'm having one of my attacks

Roman Roads 

All along the spine of hills

Open and close like chapters

Read in geological time

Strata of line and verse of rock

The meter and rhyme

of ticking geo clocks

But the stage coaches rolled on it

Reading between the lines

The wrong side of the tracks

Came from the Frome side

All roads lead there perhaps

And maybe they paid in kind

In book bind, double blind

On the summit of knowledge

When you know it all

You find out you know nothing

So Burn your books by the pallet

Burn them in Shepton Mallet

Burn them tooth and nail

I'll go over with a fine tooth comb

To find these lost words

In the ashes of Canard's Grave

She had kittens

 She had kittens

You said

I said boys or girls

You said both

I imagined an impossible world

Kittens, really, from a woman's womb

I hope they are normal

I mean as normal as wombats at Wimbledon

As whimbrels at Wombleton

Angry fur balls

Or merely sage

Wise beings, these kittens

At least on the page

the be-all and end-all

 the be-all and end-all

 

the most important thing:

We all agreed that winning was not the be-all and end-all.

Moo cows

Moomins

Moomax

Moopin

Primax

Mirrormoo

Shoe wax

Shimmershoe

The largest event in Northern Europe

The Dinosaurs never saw it

The flammingoes

Parrot style

Filming

Carrots while

Waiting for oranges to turn red

And Robins where do they go

In the summer hey

Ball on ball, on ball

Like Newton and his apples

Je m' apple

Give me an apple

How do you like dem apples

Appellation trails

What mint tea could bring

Starving

Of oxygen

Hot street

Like water into wine

 When the banks were brought down upon us

And the Bakelite sheen wore off 

I pore my heart with a watering can 

But as I watered the roses of my garden

What came out was only blood

And when I opened my veins with a knife from B and Q

What came out was water

I say, who knew?

Well Who knew was Wessex water - when they imposed a hose pipe ban

We had to turn our blood into water

And then our blood was turned into wine

Well what a miracle did unfold

As the valleys all dried up

A man there walking on water

Except he did it in a drought

and in fact he walked on pillars of salt

And he built his home on pillars of sand

And oh shake my hand some more

For this water is the blood of the land

And if you ban my blood

Well I might as well slit my drains

And let the water flood

Until the arrival of the rains

Third party fire and theft

 It was the third party I went to

And I really wasn't insured

For fire theft and damage

Oh I really can't get bored

First a man blew up the kettle

Next the water mains burst

Then I saw a rusted piece of metal

But it was gold of course

The lady had left her jewellery out

Well what a dope I thought

It surprised me not

When I heard the shot

And knew I had been caught

I was the thief at the party

I was the fire starter

I was the sod, the act of God

My blood was what caused the flood

Insure me if you like

I'm going to prison for stealing a bike

There is not much you can untie

From a story made of knots

Toy Poi

 Poi what's your reason?

Poi to go round and round

The joy of the season?

The sights and the sounds

Butterflies,

Wabbage Kites

Savage knights

On horses bites

The power and the poison,

The poison and the power

Chasing in circles, in circles

round and round

Fly after the sun, 

Fly towards the light

Its moth dance

Poi father riding in the clouds

Poi son dripping from the needle

Anecdotes, speaking antidotes

Castle clock

 The castle walls of Bishop's rock

That tick away with tidal clock

And listen on a body engraved by time

Listen to the water clock,

Time it rolls on

Ever the peaks and troughs ensue

Lapping at the laces

sapping at the shoe

Clapping hands in races

Of the egg and spoon

Holding up your swimming aces

Letting flags of colour croon

Body mark of the waves

The Bishop's hats, the white slaves

Driven by relentless whip

Driven kind or thirsty at the water's lip

I'm a high tide, and then a low

Pulled by the moon in tow

None can escape its sway

I'm waist deep in time

The further out I wade

Time's ocean laps the shore

And ripples underwater tones

If this air we breath is living

Then underwater is the sinking stone

Forever marking river bone

Ever reaching for the sunset

Scrambling an infinite egg

The gold we tried to gather

The rainbows loot we never get

Sun brows knitted, finally release

And time like a knife cuts us loose 

Into a land of blessed peace

Can we ever touch the sun

Or find the horizon

Some time when I am neck deep

I will look to you

To hold the tides of time back

Oh just before we both shall sleep

Where has the morning gone?

 Oh where has the morning gone

I have slept my whole life long

And into the cartoon world

Of Miss Saigon, the planets re-align

Yet I sleep on

Oh tell me where has the morning gone?

Moons in shape like chariots

Spin out from my eye's gaze

The fruits which bough the tree

As a fountain, hang low

In the Sun's high rays

Where now do the shoots of new growth spread?

Oh nowhere except to tie me

Down into my bed

Oh sleep you great invader

You harbinger of death

Crawl back under your rock

Let me raise my head

The day is bright and I might

Make of it what I may

Where has the morning gone

Now the night has gone away?

Almost wanted man

 Almost wanted man

It's hard to see where you stand

Whether in the window

Or the bus station queue

Almost wanted man it is sad but it's true

I've really almost never really wanted to be you

It's not like being invisible because at least that's risible

And you can have a laugh over a can or two

But when nobody wants you

Well they might as well affront you

And tell you straight get out of town

You've never done any harm

Never looked the wrong way at a bandit with no arm

Never even argued for your due

It should not come as a shock

But I'm sure you've checked your stock

And noticed that you've run out of

Pencils to chew

Almost wanted man

Boom and Bust

 Boom and bust

Doom and dust

Loom and lust

Just fit us as you cussed

And call the dancers in 

Come and pour some more gin

The Poor are eating out the bin

The thin are fat, the fat get thin

Oh who's to lose and who's to win?

I cannot tell if it's her or him

Is it all going down the pan

The stags are fighting in Japan

The Bears are raging at the Inn

The flat landers deflating in Holland

Oh force the curse

Or course the sin

The river rages far within

The castle walls of Bishop's rock

And the Scilly isles are in some shock

At Brazilian worms

And Eels slither

Up the Thames where they deliver

Rumours of

A rabies itch

Inch by stagnating inch

Animus

 We live in the age of the dog

We own them, Not to talk

To each other but to say

Keep your distance

they bark for us, they are our voices

That we cannot express ourselves

God soon it will be the age of the wolf

Howling at the moon light

Of unrequited love and dreams

In the past it was the age of the Mammoth

We would walk them, Walk with them side by side

They were silent

But knee and kept our secrets

We were the howling men and women

They the serene beings

The elephants of our collective memories

We killed

They had no voice, and no choice

But when we killed all the silent singing beings

We too lost our voices

We lost our ability to communicate through

The silent thread of mutual understanding

Like the whales in song

We bred dogs,

Tamed wolves to be dogs,

Tamed dogs to be humans

And in doing so forgot our animal selves

But also gave our souls to the dogs

Becoming dogmatic

And no longer Mammotic

Rapunzel and Todd

 He worked at Rapunzel Hair and Beauty Salon

They did the longest braids and hair extensions

That were ever known

The hairdressers Salon was at the very top

Of a tall tower in the middle of a forest

An unusual place for a hairdressers you may ask,

But as for that I cannot say

Only that a gentleman barber was passing that way

A travelling barber they say from Seville

Sweeney Todd, Michael Wood or it could have been Brazil

But either way he saw his chance and went in for the kill

May I present to you myself

A barber of exceptional skill

Just off the shelf, the shampooed elf

Cut a striking figure of thrill

Rapunzel said how could you dare

To cut off my locks

There's more locked up in your hair

Though it may come as quite a shock

Like Samson, that is where your strength

Lies in strands as long as wise

And I'd offer them as extensions

To those dim witted or passing ill

I think your locks would make a fool wise

Make a weak woman strong

In your strands so to speak

Is the strength of old Babylon

Discombobulated

 Disco Bob was on the job

But he left his work the dirty slob

To dance in discos

In San Francisco

Oh the life of disco Bob

He'd work too hard would disco bob

He treated life like it was corn on the cob

He had a lot to chew over 

During the war with the snob

But he wouldn't mind he was always

Holding the door knob

On his way out to the disco 

Oh disco Bob

Now I'm not saying his life was a sunbeam

Not saying it was a walk in the park

But surely you've got to have some dream

Unless you're forever to walk in the dark