river of songs

 Rivers and streams

I came down from the mountain

into the stream

I was in the follow through

But it rushed as it gleamed

Like golden glitter

Like in a dream

I didn't know I was in the river

But it was only your jet stream

It took me up through the valley

Down the fettered rhines

I nearly felt better

As I saw the green hills

I didn't know where I was going

Only where I'd been

Well I thought it was a river

But it was only your jet stream

I socked a punch at the moon

And knocked out the sun

It fell like a balloon

Down on everyone

Soon we were covered

But the river it flowed on

Well I called it a river

But it was a sea of song

Strawberry line song

Chorus:

 Sharp the bill hooks, rev up the saws

Slash the nettles and bend the stalks

Burn the brash, pitch in with forks

What we do in the great outdoors

Verse 1

Hack with axe and level the ground

Pull up the roots and cut down the vine

Raze the tree and throw on the mound

And when we're finished before we recline

Burn it on the Strawberry line

chorus

Verse 2

Open the flask, pour out the soup

Pull up a stump and tell our stories

Laugh at a joke til we're cock-a-hoop

Share the tea bread like we share our glories

Serve it on the Strawberry line

chorus

Verse 3

Dig over, dig under the railway banks

Hazel, Oak and Mountain Ash

Dogwood and Hornbeam we plant with thanks

Trudge back from the site when heavy rains lash

Planted on the Strawberry line

Submarine

 Where do planes take off from?

They take off from airports

What is going from one place to another?

Travelling is going from one place to another

What is a means of water transport?

It is a submarine

A submarine

If you know what I mean

It is a submarine

SHOULD YOU SHOULDN’T YOU SONG/BAD HABIT, GOOD HABIT SONG

 SHOULD YOU WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER PLAYING FOOTBALL?

YES I SHOULD WASH MY HANDS AFTER PLAYING FOOTBALL.

SHOULD YOU SHARE A DRINKING STRAW WITH YOUR FRIENDS?

NO, I SHOULDN'T SHARE A DRINKING STRAW WITH MY FRIENDS.

IT’S A BAD HABIT, IT’S A BAD HABIT. NOT A GOOD HABIT

SHOULD YOU COVER YOUR NOSE WITH A TISSUE WHILE SNEEZING?

YES, I SHOULD COVER MY NOSE WITH A TISSUE WHILE SNEEZING,

IT’S A GOOD HABIT, IT’S A GOOD HABIT, IT’S NOT A BAD HABIT,

SHOULD YOU LITTER A PICNIC SPOT?

NO, I SHOULDN’T LITTER A PICNIC SPOT, IT’S A BAD HABIT

IT’S A BAD HABIT, NOT A GOOD HABIT, IT’S A BAD HABIT

SHOULD YOU EAT AN APPLE WHILE PLAYING WITH A PET DOG

WELL, LET ME THINK ABOUT THAT, EATING AN APPLE IS GOOD,

BUT NOT WHILE PLAYING WITH A PET DOG, NO IT’S A BAD HABIT

THAT’S WHAT I SAID, IT’S A BAD HABIT, NOT A GOOD HABBIT

IT’S A BAD HABIT YOU BETTER STOP IT NOW

IT’S A BAD HABIT, LIKE CHASING COWS

IT’S LIKE A RUNAWAY RABBIT, IT’S A BAD HABIT

BATHROOM SONG

WHAT DO YOU USE TO WASH YOUR HANDS IN THE BATHROOM?

I USE SOAP TO WASH MY HANDS IN THE BATHROOM

WHAT DO YOU USE TO CLEAN YOUR TEETH IN THE BATHROOM?

I USE THE TOOTHBRUSH TO CLEAN MY TEETH, IN THE BATHROOM

OH THE BATHROOM IS THE PLACE I GO

OH THE BATHROOM IS THE PLACE I KNOW

IT’S A BATH IN A ROOM IT’S THE BATHROOM

WHAT DO YOU USE TO DRY YOURSELF IN THE BATHROOM?

I USE THE TOWEL TO DRY MYSELF, IN THE BATHROOM

WHAT DO YOU USE TO COMB YOUR HAIR IN THE BATHROOM?

I USE THE COMB TO BRUSH MY HAIR IN THE BATHROOM

OH THE BATHROOM IS THE PLACE I GO

OH THE BATHROOM IS THE PLACE I KNOW

IT’S A BATH IN A ROOM IT’S THE BATHROOM

What in the world?

 The berries are bobbing on the rowan tree

The corn is cobbing, in the sweet acre breeze

And I am jobbing like a busy bee

But the parishioners all hold their tissues and sneeze

Oh what, what are we coming to?

What in the world is it coming to?

The flames are fanned, and the Earth's down the pan

And another horse passes on a Japanese fan

There's a statue that's a fallin'

A Greek vase is appallin'

Hiding from Apollo's gaze

Who wanders through the fallow glades

Thinking of him and looking for you

Oh what in the world are we coming to?

And the jumbo in the air is stallin'

In the sirens with long hair are callin'

Take me once, they say, take my cue

What in the world are we coming to?

I hold my breath and count to ten

But I'm afraid to open my mouth again

And if I see pigsties or sheep pens

I close my eyes and count my hens

The farm yard is all accounted true

Yet what in the world is it coming to?

And we all look lost in a maze

The shallow sharks, swim in the misty haze

And jellyfish sting, on the holidays

We all forgot were once sacred

It makes you think it's the end of days

With famine and pestilence and malaise

And summer time screams its short serenades

As the musicians all pack up their parades

What in the world are we coming to?

What in the world is it coming to?

When you hold out your hands

Then bring them together in praise

Some people leave you, and it's the pain that stays