I thought I had it coming

It was first on the windowsill in my home

That I lie in the sun on a stone slab

And I thought I am Jesus Christ and some

Mystical power came and gave me a jab 

 You might say that I had it coming

That Bodhisattvas had my back

But Karma is a killer and here is the craic

Why does God's voice sound like beat of distant drumming

Or perhaps it's just the sound of pain leaving the body's rack

I knew you later on when we were in High School

The Dalai Lama rose upon my map

I thought long and hard that I might be a monk

But couldn't remove the good book from my lap

And I learnt about redemption and the redeeming God

I learnt about atoning for our sins

And that Protestants think we must earn our salvation

While others think it's all just predestined

You see I thought I had it coming

as a Catholic,

For we all start off with original sin

It means we're predisposed to some evil acts

But we don't have to listen to the devil within

And then I learnt they had it easier in the Orthodox Church

That everyone is born with a clean slate

No problems are inherent and we have free choice

We just better not wait too long to use our voice

Or it will be too late

So I thought I had it coming

But now I learnt it could be reversed

That I am not bridled with inherent vice

That if I follow correctly a protestant work ethic

And always follow other people's good advice

Maybe I'll earn the merit to make it to heaven's gate

And by the power of free will

It may not be too late

Then I heard of the Vedic traditions of India

And it all made sense in a colourful life

Blue demons and Angel figures in a mandala

Revolved in Karmic wheel pinned by a knife

And you walk its edge between life and death

And you must give your thanks with prayer of your breath

And even the Kama Sutra leads like a thread

Of the right path to nirvana

Well I thought I had it coming

Then the Hiniyana gave me hope that I could live

And walk upon the water of the lake of Dharma

And maybe through Karma learn to give

Because what comes around goes around

And we are all incarnated into the living beings we deserve

If kind hearted actions and not harming others

Came top of your list then you'll preserve

Your current status or climb to a hiatus

But hatred and cruel malice you lived by then

you'll drop back down to earth

For Paradise is a place that we all have in our hearts

It's a place that we protect and must serve

Like guards protecting king and queen in the royal palace

We must forgo our dreams in order heaven to preserve

Yes I thought I had it coming then I learnt of God

And Jesus Christ who is love

And I knew just then that he could keep me in his bosom

And I would be forever his peace dove

Manna from heaven

The dial tone of eternity, rings on and on
Until God - the operator
Reconnects you
I have run out of money I say
Can I reverse the charges
Sure who are you trying to get through to?
Anyone, Adam, Abraham Cain, Isaac
Jesus?
Jesus doesn't listen
Oh sure he does
No he doesn't he just puts the phone down, I tried him the other Sunday
He has BT call minder, I say my name but he never picks up sometimes
That is very sad, and what about the other prophets?
They are too busy trying to set each other's pants on fire,
Or putting them out.
So what do you want me to do about it?
I don't know just give me some sign, please tell me what I should do now, I need a sign please

Arise

 All the ships come sailing in

at six o'clock in the morning

And I know you are my twin

When I see you yawning

The time has come and struck the bell

The hammer falls down into the well

And plop, clip - clop

The film reel fell

Those frames of us are like

Flames in hell

But I must not be so morose

No the lies are like bedridden aunts

And speaking clocks

Tell again time flies

Well stop it now

It don't feel nice

So what is behind all these shifting sands?

All this scenery of a world passing

Like grains through my hands

Yet ours is not of this world

There are bigger fish to fry

God lives in me and you

If you accept the spiritual ties

Leave this world of butter mountains behind

Rise up from those hills of bread

Drink not from the lake of wine

But instead sup the blood of Christ

Taste his flesh, cannibalize

His spotless sacrifice made

For our sins

And all is forgiven

So that's nice

Mysterious ways

 Yes you work in mysterious ways

Yes you work in mysterious ways

From the smell of celeriac cooking

To the midsummer's haze

Yes you work in mysterious ways

There are paths where I walk

Reminds me of younger days

Seemed so much better than the present

Wrapped up in rosen glaze

And there are times when I talk

Or I see a woman's face

And I think you must work

In mysterious ways

Yes it's all a mystery I can't read your play

What I guess is behind the scenes

You are moving backstage

But I wish for you to be back

With me some days

You just say read my back pages

He works in mysterious ways

And there are some fruit trees

That in the breeze do sway

And I know the ghost of your electricity

Hovers above the haze

And I say with my earnesty

That I wish your ghost could stay

But you say in your own honesty

He works in mysterious ways

Pesty

 Dragnet fishing in the lower depth

Pest control of the ants nest

Mother sighed fair thee well

And shot a star straight into hell

God was angry at the saint

Who had all but forgotten to paint

The stairway to heaven

And Heaven's restraint

Was not what I would have called

alright, it ain't

Come on tide me over the hills

The boat is heavy

And the way is shrill

And the carbon dioxide plants will kill

Me, thy might, but not before entropy

The dog of oxygen barks and pants

And I am itching from the chaotic ants

Whose will is even and reason will rule

But that's not what they should teach in school

Teach that might is right

Because opportunity knocks

But relativity bites

And he who can seize the bull by the horns

Will master disaster ever since he was born

And she who runs a pork-bellied chop

Will end her days working in a pawn broker shop

Because far below the soft metallic sky

There where they people like ants too afraid to die

And they gave thanks to the blue coloured dye

That kept them in business with the 

Telegraph guy

He told of archangels with troubled wings

Whose broken promise made him lose things

That were not his alone to keep

But he lost them alone, and that made him weep

The spider crawled upon the shelf

And all God's creatures help themself

To Wine and beer and telemetry boxes

Because short circuits are bad for red little foxes

They will bite and gnaw through miles of wire

And force the land to burn in raging fire

Mountain Man

 Now you see me,now you don't

That often misquoted quote

When what you see is a ghost of me

It is but a footnote

Literally the mountains have turned into the man

The mole has crawled out of his hole

The iceberg has cracked and fissured alongside

The ocean of well-wishers

And if Mohammed can't go to the mountains

Then the mountain must visit him

Except the mountains are self-isolating

Under the new covid restrictions

They must all keep at least 20 miles apart

Peak to peak

We must not touch the rock

As it is a carrier of disease

Try telling Moses that

He's up there with his staff

As we speak

Tapping into the great unknown

The hard stuff

He likes being caught between a rock -God

And a hard place - the Earth

I'd like to say this is how

I imagined my honeymoon

Back on Earth

But Mars is proving a draw now

Of course

Famous last words

Of course the famous last words

Of the one who loved you

The one who you loved beyond anyone

Father, why have you forsaken me

As he hung on the cruxfix

Strung up there like a scarecrow

Even the crows didn't dare

But eventually Mary came

They lifted him down

Laid him in a cave

And rolled the round rock across

His grave

Calling heavy as a rock is he

He who will never be free

Imprisoned king

But here's the thing

Their famous last words

As he walked again

It's just nobody tells you

That can happen

They all say he can't or

You'll never walk again

Just watching the crows

Watching the crows

 He was knocked off in the Senate

With all his rivals next to him

He was brought low by the mob

The last thing he said before they found

He was dead

Was

I wish I could've finished the job

Famous last words

Of the bold and the true

But who knew then

They'd come back to bite them through

She was wrestling with a swordfish

In the bowels of the ocean

She had sharks surrounding her

In quite a commotion

She'd opened a can of worms

When she admitted she was a dolphin

She said well you don't see that everyday do you?

Tie up your sewerside

And Jesus never tried

Oh of course he thought

Of drinking the cyanide

Or taking the hemlock

But he had a block

He was the Godfather

Of little Tim Cock

Who looked up to him

Like he was Papa doc

Especially hanging there on the cross

Homing pigeon

 When the pigeon flew through the hole

When the doors were well open

And the ten Commandments scroll

Had been spoken

When you understand you don't control your life

You'll stop flapping around 

In the house of the Lord

Whether you're a pigeon or a mouse

You can neither fly from nor hide from

The word

Let it be, he is here with you

Even the lowliest shrew

Even in the turn of the screw

There is no escape for you

Read from the ten Commandments

Know the beginning and end

Are not different departments

But all tied up like a shoe

Like a pigeon that's trapped

Got lost on the map

But flew

Straight home to you