The long way round

 I wanted a walk and I wanted a talk

But a friend just could not be found

So I practised the lean art of the mean

And I took the long way round

Well I longed for a song

To be weak not strong

I longed not to be ground into the ground

I cried I'm a man not machine

And the trees all looked green

And I took the long way round

It's not much

 You know I'm not asking for much am I?

I'm not asking for England's crown

I'm just asking for a little pitch

Down on the green and the brown

I'm not asking for much am I?

I'm just asking to live

In a place I don't need to pay the earth for

Just to buy a round in the pub

On my own ground

Is it hallowed well, what on earth for?

I mean I know it's owned

He sadly frowned

But what if mirth was worth

The dearth of laughter

That you could hope for

But never expound

She Shanty

 While singing sailors sang

The sanguine signs of Sam

Who's on a Samsung ship

Who's paying with his lip

The service of the seas

Slip ship, slip,

shibboleths and fifths 

In harmonies of seven heavens

On the lonesome seas

So down to the lowlands

the lady of the lake stands

Upon the water's fake glands

And shakes hands 

With Jesus

She is such a shanty or a Canty Katy

Pantry of Pandas

Alexander of Anders in the Andes

She is showing, 

shining the showers

Of golden lining

No silverware is whining

To be polished by the sea

But the shore is sibilant

shibboleths

of batholiths

and will-o-the-wisps

of fairy kisses

foot idioms

 be back on your feet

land on your feet

get your feet wet

get a/your foot in the door

get off on the right/wrong foot

have a foot in both camps

have feet of clay

have one foot in the grave

have/keep your feet on the ground

my foot

 More idioms

not put a foot wrong

put your foot down

put your foot in it

hardly/barely put one foot in front of the other

rush/run sb off their feet

set foot in somewhere

under your feet

as good as it gets

 This is as good as it gets

So you might as well live without regrets

Down the road as far as you see

There is life

And that life can be

Something good if you want it to be

Counting your blessings

Say "I'm glad to be me"

This is as good as it gets

So you might as well live without regrets

She lived her life

Well we each have our turn 

On the stage of life we can learn

To be slow or to be fast and burn

This is as good as it gets

So you might as well live without regrets

Policeman

 If I were a policeman

In the beginning they made me study maths

bronze my skin and put make up on my face

all i wan to do is get stage

If I were a policeman

I'd Bang you all to rights

I was looking for a job

and now I've got one

 I'm so miserable

We know don't go

anywhere you want

you don't want to go

Stop going to the places

You don't want to go

You might like it it if try it

But you don't want to

Everyone who lived my life

Would be the same as I am

don't suggest anything

I'm free to do what I please

gonna move into town

you're all

a load of witches

You're getting me so down

You're so judgemental

 What gives you the right

To tell me how to get around

I'm a creep

What the hell am I doing here?

I'm a yellow belly

All I do is watch telly

Made an ear job

They cut off my dad's ear

I put it in a box and

I made a necklace

I'm thinking

of going away

Everytime I have to think about 

my cat

It stops at that

Poor Rosemary!

 Rosemary it's so plain to see

That I don't need you as you don't need me

Your heart is weak, you're jowl by cheek

I feel the sleek brush with death

Somehow

Your breath

You cow

Leaves much to bow wow

You dog, you growl

I hold my nose when I see you scowl

You are so foul

The lowest bowel

Could not speak better

Than when you sign your letter

Rosemary, I made my vow

Never to see your ugly maw

Chomp and talk

Like a pale wan stork

Who needed a chalk

Outlining or two

It's murder she wrote

When the dog's at your throat

Has the cat got your goat

Has the frog rocked your boat?

Your ugly rapacious mug  

Really reminds me

Of a giant sea slug

So I'll let you bottom feeders

Hoover the rug

Of the ocean floor

And won't see you no more

Poor Rosemary

Rosemary, you're so poor

Poor Rosemary!