Forty something

 I'm over forty

I've got Dr Wolff at my door

Howling out he's got a cure

For my grey hair

I'm over forty

Now I'm a victim of time and fate

If I wasn't before

Well now there's no time to wait

You see my father was over forty

Before I turned naughty

You see he is behind a bullet proof glass plate

And history always comes to those too late

They tell me to inject caffeine in my pores

They tell me to believe in the male menopause

Well I believe, I have no cause, it goes

The same with Santa Clause

But I don't remember anyone getting on his case

About his over rosy cheeks, rotund belly

Or beardy white fakes

Why didn't he ever use Just for Men?

I suppose they wouldn't trust any dark haired strangers

Coming undercover down chimney ranges

Probably would have burnt him in the grate

Than suffer the indignity of a milk tray lover

Whose cover's blown as is his sperm count of late

But as I say I'm an over forty victim of fate

I'm an over forty son of

A man who's over eighty

Who's father never run the clock so late

But you can't say I've begun to hate

I still feel love could come by my gate

And we'd meet

At number 28b

 or not 28B

Two score and twenty four blackbirds

Baked in a pie,

on Pigeon street

And don't be late

Valentines

 It's when you love the wrong woman

Valentines is a traitor's heart

broken in two

Pieces of a queen's tart

Lay it on thick

Holding all the cards

She's ready to take their heads

Queen of broken hearts 

How I wish you were dead

I thought I loved a woman

But in fact I loved the wine

That's where thinking gets you

Thinking, such a waste of time

Back in Blighty

 Returning to old blighty

It feels oh so mighty

With it's castles and mists

And memories of being kissed

In the dams and caravans

In the Springs and the Wells

Where I sprung a Welsh leek

And held a Scottish thistle

And the teacher blew their whistle

And I ran to pick up the sandbag

And I can't run anymore

I've been run down

Until I'm sore

Primary school against the wall

Counting down

Turning around

Looking for the wolf

He's always at your back

Ready to attack

Coming back to good old blighty

What a mighty time we had

But who are the good

And who the bad

How can we forget?

How can we ever be sad

Except what else do you do here

Kiss the salty sand

Wait for one gland after another to pack up

Take up the slack and bear the share

The burden

It's no curtain to draw

No blanket of sack cloth to wear

Nothing is for certain

It's all fair

Love and war

You've been trained for

Ever since you grew up

In good old blighty

They train you to be mighty

Have a mighty heart

And to save the ones you love

For you to play your part

They told you how to live

How to run the game

How to take and how to give

And how to feel love and shame

And that's why blighty's in your bones

That's why you are always called home

But that's why you must escape the chrome

Nelson, the brass buckles

The shining buttons and waistcoats

The statues in museums

You saw history through

Like a peach black wind through hair

But love was a cummerbund

Of your joy and despair 

A good boat

 She's a good boat, she's a good boat

She's a very good boat to me

I like her lines

I like her curves

I'd walk her planks

But I'd always swerve

She's a good boat for me

I want to row right onto her ocean

It's like she's the vessel of my emotion

She carries me oft, hard or soft

Let the waves lash or the winds us blow off

Course, of course

I'll hold her straight, because I'm tied to her fate

She's a good boat, she's a good boat for me

I think we could float on the raging sea

She's a good boat, she's a good boat

She's a good boat for me

like bombshells falling on windmills

 Like butterflies' eyes

Falling eyelashes from the skies

Like bombshells falling on windmills

Like sky thrills filling

The windowsills

With sly shys, with nice guys

And dolls

And ice cold

souls

Like bombshells

falling on windmills

Gravity lane

 Gravity lane

Fallin down

Down on my luck again

In gravity lane

Wishing well quarter

I threw a dime in the water

Gravity pulled me in

I forgot how to swim

Won't you pull me out

I don't wanna drown

In the town 

where it rains 

forever and a day

Down gravity's lanes

Gotta walk on the moon

I'm gonna leap pretty soon

It's gonna be like a swoon

But it might take me til June

Cos here gravity's thick

Just like your lipstick

And I could float on your lips

Only your rip tide rips

And gravity pulled me down

Don't wanna wear this crown

It's heavy as horns

My little crown of thorns

So won't you tear it off

I love you hard not soft

But I can't wear your cloth

It drags me down to earth

And I need to be free

Cos I'm made of gravity

The phases of the moon

She I can't follow

Up and down like a yoyo

There's the new moon

Better let her know now

She, I can't follow

Silver thread to her bed

The Waning Crescent

She's the lady in red

She, I can't follow

I'm like a rainbow on the blink

The Third quarter 

She gives me a wink, I think

She, I can't follow

Her summer swallow

The Waning gibbous

Her wax wings I kiss

In her wax work museum

And the full moon

Was I a loon crying at noon?

Was it a neap tide

Was she a true bride?

Had she lied? We all lie

It's just the phases of the moon

It's only true at that time

The waxing gibbous 

She was melting like a candle

Too hot to handle

I never tried

The first quarter hid us

Occluded from the light

I saw a polaroid flash

I saw a polar bear dash

Across a wire and I didn't care

The Waning crescent slid

Down our throats

Like a lemon slice

Like a glass of wine it disappeared

Brought into focus

The sharp taste

Bitter as leaving your lover

And that's how I follow her

like the phases of the moon