Mermaid Halloween or a dark tale

 I met a mermaid, a slipper a slapper

I met a mermaid, a flipper a flapper, a mermaid

Oh we walked along the Bristol docks

For she wished me to buy her a frock

A slipper, a slapper, a mermaid 

But she could not walk so I pushed her in a barrow

Along the cobbled streets and the lanes quite narrow

A flipper, a flapper mermaid

But when I told her I had no money

A slipper, a slapper, a flipper, a flapper

She hit me with her tail and she looked at me funny

A slipper, a slapper, a mermaid

Well I said I told you I was but a sailor

Then she told me what she needed was really a tailor

a slipper, a slapper a mermaid

So I took her to the fishmonger

a flipper, a flapper a mermaid

And I said to him, I'd like her topped and tailed

A slipper a slapper, a mermaid

So he chopped off her tail and gave me £60 for the sale

A flipper, a flapper a mermaid

And I thought that was the end of my fish-bride-tale 

A slipper, a slapper a mermaid

But her fishtail grew a head like the whale 

a flipper a flapper a mermaid

And I think the fishmonger made a good sale

A slipper a slapper, a mermaid

But her top half I put back in the barrow

A flipper a flapper a mermaid

And the fishmonger did make her a wrapper

A slipper a slapper, a mermaid

He said: the price of fish is a terrible thing

It can make a haddock hack, and a mackerel sing

If you love a mermaid Jack, then make her a ring

And marry head and tail, that's price of a fish market sale

He said: the price of fish is a thing to abide

It goes up in bad weather and down like the tide

And if you're a sailor then neither a tailor be

What's the price of fish worth when there's plenty

more in the sea?

Back home on the sofa, my mermaid and me

We tried to get closer, but she was pale as can be

So I went to the kitchen to brew her a cup of tea

A flipper, a flapper, a mermaid

When I came back in, two new legs she had sprouted

And I looked at them fondly , but then she sad doubted

That she could ever walk again, so I said then let's just try

And she walked and did the splits and kicked up high to the sky

Oh a flipper a flapper, my new mermaid bride

Was the full ticket now as we walked the dock side

And I brought her to the boutique where a new frock she tried

Oh a slipper and a slapper, she looked so good I could've cried

Oh a flipper and flapper, my girl walked a clip clapper

Oh a slipper and a slapper she could dance a toe tapper

And we walked around the fish market, and I never thought

Of the sale

But I think that she remembered because she looked a bit pale

So if you ever love one side of a mermaid, but you don't love the other

Don't confuse Mary Magdalene with the fairy Godmother

You can just accept her, or you can chop her in two for a laugh

But when you refer to her later, you better call her your better half

Living with mermaids

 It's all just attachment theory

The stresses and strains

And the colours run down the drains

We've washed ourselves clean

In the new green machine

But I still cannot wash out the stain

I mean

The blood spot

of a murder scene

In which we killed our love

Got away clean?

Scot-free

Neither

lest the bonds of guilt

Struggle to hold the mermaid

As she tries to leave the sea

Mermaid

 I saw a mermaid in the sea

But she could not come up to me

I said the sea went way over my head

And she was in it and the sea was red

Come walk on water Jesus boy she said

I knew you were living, but I didn't know you were dead

She said I'm half fish don't you know

Not fully grown, not

Ready to bear human child

Come fisherman

She said,

Fisherman

Search for the souls

Fisherman,

I am half fish

But I'm not whole.

Fisherman greet me catch me 

And toll,

Toll the rocking ship's bell for me

By the time the clock's struck twelve

I will be free,

I will have grown

And be full woman not a girl

I'll leave behind my scales 

Keep my pearl

But it all was just as it had been

The fisherman unfurled the net

And set the mermaid free

The Queen of the Aquamarine

 She's such a middle class mermaid

She shops in Ocean and aquarium tanks

She thanks

Her postman for the letters from the blue lagoon

And swims into the underwater banks

Now I saw you had dated her too

She lost a few of her scales to you

With me I think she piled on the pounds

But in the end she was landed by a fisherman from France

Whatever became of her famous tail?

It glimmered in the sun, and in the

Fish market sale

When I asked the fishmonger to remove

Tail and the head, 

I think he must have misunderstood what I said

Because now my mermaid is dead

She was a middle class mermaid

From the blue lagoon

But she hadn't been back there in a blue moon

She had a mum and dad, and a sister too

Who was so jealous she could swim

With the Penguins at the zoo

Well I loved her then,

And she became my wife

But I never did know how she would change my life

You she told me once the sea was waving at me

But I never realized this meant she wanted to be free

And I stole away in a yellow submarine

To track her down, the Queen of Aquamarine

Then I saw she'd found her promised land

Down beneath the waves in the arms of Aquaman

Well she was middleclass mermaid

With the sea breeze hair, that blew with fresh mint

Smell in the air

And her toothpaste soul, it was so clean

That beautful girl, the Queen of the Aquamarine