A pirate's holiday

 I met a pirate upon a river cruise

He was on a Pirate's holiday

I said are you a planning

On some marauding

Or hoarding the gold in the bay?

He said no I'm not a viking

I just wish for a canal boat

And a peaceful stay

So as I walked along the tow path

I saw this pirate sipping cups of tea

What sort of pirate

I thought to myself

Must this pirate be?

He was relaxing and taking it easy 

Away from the hard life at sea

Where he'd been drinking rum

And stealing gum

Upon the Merciless Albatross Dizzy

He said my life is real taxing

And I should be relaxing me

Ironically I don't believe in tax axing

Because my tax is between the devil 

and the deep blue sea

Oh how I wish I were a busman

And not a pirate so free

For then when I needed a holiday

I'd just drive my buses and let it be

Quack a day duck

 Well someone said hey

And I said duck

What! Watch out!

It's a submersible, fuck!

So Quack away

Come on Quack away

The flippers kick fast

But it's smooth on top

So come on Quack, Quack

Around New Zealand

The times may come that it's hard to say

Come on Quack away, oh Quack away

It's all just water off a duck's back

So let's Quack, Quack

Around New Zealand

A tufty tail

And a beak that Quacks

Quack away, come on Quack away

You could be a Quaker or you could be a Crack

Come on Quack, Quack 

around New Zealand

Well it's jus de l'orange

Or it's crispy or chop sui

Quack away, come on Quack away

You might talk strange

But I think it's phooey

Quack, Quack around New Zealand

I think I need a doctor

For I've hurt my back

Come on Quack away, yes Quack away

But they give me a witch doctor 

who talks like a Quack

So Quack, Quack around New Zealand