Funny how it starts
And funny how it ends
In the chambers of the heart
Where we might find a friend
Elephants fart
And little mice mend
The holes in dresses and truse
Of the confessions of shrews
Who also need a friend
Funny how it starts
And funny how it ends
In the chambers of the heart
Where we might find a friend
Elephants fart
And little mice mend
The holes in dresses and truse
Of the confessions of shrews
Who also need a friend
Where are the monsters
Of common sense?
They are living with the elephant
In the room under the stairs
Oh nobody knew
If he was really theirs
Where are the dragons bent on destruction
Fire, fire flames, grow higher
And what of the fairies, elves and dwarves
Where are they now?
Have they gone indoors
Oh show me the way back to that world
Where courage still lives
And all
Well paradise was full of birds and bees
And elephants with long trunks
Tucked up their sleeves
And God said, look who's that man Eve
And she said - I don't know him from Adam
Now Eve, I thought I told you not to mess around with boys
You know you will break my equipment
These men are not toys
I have already given you several models named Steve
So who's this one Eve?
And Eve said I don't know him from Adam
But Eve said, this one's different, I can feel it in my bones
For now I've set the ball rolling, it's like a rolling stone
And please stop this cajolling, insistent tone
God said do you still believe in me Eve?
Eve said, well I don't know you from Adam
Just then a snake slithered down from up in the leaves
Eve thought he was a rope so gave him a heave
Hey kid quit pulling me down, what are ya tryin to achieve?
Eve said oh you must be new in town, because I don't know you from Adam
Well if that's how you treat a stranger, I think I'll get myself lost
I can see a three leafed clover, there's a manger and a holy ghost
Perhaps if I went in, they might give me a warmer toast
Eve said I doubt it unless you can shed your skin,
They don't know you from Adam
And Adam said to God, I don't know if I really know myself
God said here's a mirror, look within you'll find I am your twin
And so they embraced, like long lost cousins, and Adam got a lump in his throat
And God got a pain in his neck, and before you could say paradise
Eve appeared with an apple
Now I'm willin' to marry a twin, you don't have to ask me twice
But before we tie the ribbon, I think it would be nice
If you can introduce him, the one with the snake eyes
And God said I would but I don't know him from Adam
Ant eater
Accountant
Actuary
B - Baker, Butcher, bailer, bailif, banoffe pie maker
C-conartist, caption writer
Cockatoo tail feather puta in a
Cockatoo tail feather pulla outta
D-delecroy
Delivery driver
Diamond miner
Deatha nd taxes person
Ditch water inspector
E-ear wig owner
Egg white beater
Elephant trainer
Elegy writer
Electrician
F -foreign affairs correspondent
fisherman
Flaming heart flagellist
Fake hairdo maker
G-God look-alike competition inspector
Goal keeper
Giraffe adoptionist
H- happy go lucky hippie
Hair dresser
Hope creator, hope maker
Handle turner
Huddle Goth
I-indicator maker
Index finger - giant index finger
Individual inspector
J-jokey
Jill- as in Jack dressing up as Jill
Jimcarna organizer
Jolly sing-a-long
Jeopardy host
K -Kung-Fu expert
Kapitan
Kapital hill creator
Constructive cages
King maker
Killer
Kiss-me-quick
Kiss.me-not
Kiss.me on the spot
L- loverman
Low brow
lowdown taker
Lintel inspector
Label maker
Literature thief
Lobbyist
Leg measurer
Lentil maker
Logo elaborator
M- Mechanic
Motorist
Mender of watches
N-no one
Nobody
Notch maker
(K)Napsack carrier
Nuptual inviter
O- octopus trainer
Onthologist, Opthalmologist
Open university lecturer
Opportunity knocker
The sun goes down over the street
The crepuscular creepers walking
the beat
Light head lice
The head lights are yet to turn on
In the Somerset Town
They call Babylon
The colours so chrome
Oh I wish they were yellow
Magnesium white lights
The glare of the mellow
And stroking the firelight
The RAC fellow
Goes hammer and tongs
and bellows
The sodium sipped at the supper of kings
Of the control of the periodic table of things
And song of the elements
And elephant wings
But who ever saw an elephant
Fly?
inside she sings
And who knew the tide lines
And the marks that love brings
On Muriel Sparks
Or Ann summer's stings
And filing for divorce at the court of Great Kings
The Queen has been fought
But she has lost what he brings
Oh take me, elephant, thick of skin
To be your lawfully anointed wife
Oh Mouse husband I do, I do, I do
Now where shall we live?
This house is not big enough for two
I being an elephant I could fill a room
And you being a mouse could barely squeeze in
We must invest in a super saver sofa
And super soaker cheeses
And supper saving goffers
And Puppet waving breezes
And suffer saviours and their sabres
Suffer saboteurs and wheezes
Who would hold their noses
At supermarket freezes
But Jesus, please us and means us, beans us
And holy communion crumbs of busted breeze-block kinesis
Come on commoners come on please
Shake a leg at the foreigners who go between the fleas
And suck up your carpet hairs of all your finger nails
And sneezing snares at the market wares
Coralled, cajolled over controlled by forces
Of Minsk, and rinks of ice, and risks that slip on rice
And dice are rolled down to the bone of hip, skip and suffice
lolloping giant
Sheep dog shaggy
Elephant trunk and arches
benches bunk branches skunk
tail waving laughing, laughing
Trumping and dancing a shaggy hippy stomp
Shaking the shady chandeliers
Swaying all baying in 70s flares
To the age of Aquarius praying
Leaves like feathers ruffled chicken fella
Born out of shape and time
A little too heavy in the arms
Dragging knuckles on the ground
Chimp-charrooing like a monkey aping an ape
Gorilla tree, Green man
Jolly green giant
What if the Russians controlled Divina McColl?
I don't give a monkeys
I've got a ladder in my giraffe
There's a snake down my trousers
And ants in my pants
I'm an eager beaver
I've got a dolphin's glance
I'm missing my penguin
I need an eagle's eye
There are eleven elephants who've forgotten how to die
And a parrot named dignity
Who can't stop talking lies
The circus came to town
The ringmaster and clown
Not pulling any punches
Pulling lots of hair
Pulling over drivers
Screw drivers and survivors
And Pirates are walking around
With performing bears
She held a tiger in her hands
And camera in her pocket
Little miss Lucky locket
Forming figures
From the statues of dancers
Standing like a straight up and down
Bottle of Champagne
Bursting in bubbles
Walking in vain along the tight rope of years
Like hamsters in cages they rolled
Turning mechanical crane
Running round in circles
In the circus of the years
She is tied up and let down
Always the pull if you're a twin
Of the invisible string
The almost shared placenta
The picture of the womb
The acrobat and the firm believer
In the miracle room
Painting pictures on the ceiling
Of Adam touching God
And the trapeze artist
and aerialist are reaching
Ever reaching to hold the horse shoe
Shod
And in between the tug of war
Over the fair share of good luck
She picked up the horse shoe
And the elephant trod
And up and down and all over the town
In the arms of the clown
And the Ringmaster pursued them
With his crown of thorns
And bleeding stigmata palms
All the way through the lavender farms
And shook them down
And the bees shot out
The bees buzzed out
We live in the age of the dog
We own them, Not to talk
To each other but to say
Keep your distance
they bark for us, they are our voices
That we cannot express ourselves
God soon it will be the age of the wolf
Howling at the moon light
Of unrequited love and dreams
In the past it was the age of the Mammoth
We would walk them, Walk with them side by side
They were silent
But knee and kept our secrets
We were the howling men and women
They the serene beings
The elephants of our collective memories
We killed
They had no voice, and no choice
But when we killed all the silent singing beings
We too lost our voices
We lost our ability to communicate through
The silent thread of mutual understanding
Like the whales in song
We bred dogs,
Tamed wolves to be dogs,
Tamed dogs to be humans
And in doing so forgot our animal selves
But also gave our souls to the dogs
Becoming dogmatic
And no longer Mammotic
I recall the sun before it went down
Burning brightest
Like a jewel in the crown
I recall the orchard, and the Bristol Down
Oh the Summer sun, just before it goes down
And all the memories of forgotten elephants
Who sit in rooms
Trying to remember
And yet they have nothing to regret
No there's nothing to regret
When you can forget
I remember dances
And halls
By the sea
And taking chances
Like glances of infinity
And in those eyes that seem to stretch
On to forever
I got lost in eternity
Oh now I can remember
And certain sun's faces
And glances in halves
The King or the aces
Turn up like the cards
And I can remember
I took a gamble on you
Your eyes were the dice
And you rolled them true
Double sixes a pair
Of diamonds shone true
Oh I can remember
The chance taken on you
Yes I'll never play that hand again
Not the same anyway
The tables have turned
The players gone away
And I have learned
To remember it's true
That the sun will burn brighter
When the days nearly through
For there's nothing but living
And loving to do
So come hug me tighter
For I'm swimming to you
I do the skeleton walk
All bones and elbows
Like Jesus on my cross of crutches
All trussed up, a walking puppet
Stilts of Dali's elephants in deserts
Top heavy
But now loose hung together by sinews
just what is needed for my frame
"Hang loose"
The Romans said to Jesus
When they saw him pinned up there
We make a crucifix of suffixes and prefixes
We make a bonfire of our vanities
And shatter the mirrors of man in God's images
Ever receding an infinity of apes
Ever diminishing the square root of our madness
Human ideas are bound by shapes
None can get beyond their own boundaries
All must, like Lucrece, give way to our rape
and hold in the eyes the pennies of badness
And let fly the scarves that would hang our own nape
Doing my best in a shortfall, to be gone in a can of
Cortisol and hair spray
In tooth decay in nominal equities
And innumerable beauties
And telegraphic controversies of hook liners
That shape the turtle dove into some angelic being
And give her a golden egg imbibed with meaning
And when in actualness the forecast looked grim
Because high above antennae rooftops swam the peregrine
And even if these wolves are called the sea, and gems are
not cut by diamond dromedary
Then the lump she was concealing in her peacock pouch
Was gemlike glistening
Heraldic and fizzling to be close to social exclusion
And far from some happy place
To see in isolation solace
And yet to laugh in loneliness’s face
If that were the attainable state
I shouldn't care where the pendulum swings
And if I am a free bear
Then this forest of time
Should not be thickets of problems,
I should see the wood for the trees,
But slowly I see the hunter stalking me
Through the long grass
With his elephant in his spy glass
The elephant in the room
No one is talking about him
Just the way he likes it
He likes to be left alone
An elephant is always solitary when he's far from home
Though this doesn't mean he's made of stone
It just means he's packed his trunk is on his way
To where I could not say,
To what time or place
can you find him pining for the forest again
For the memory of ivory is like the scent of burning wood
And bonfires of his vanities,
And tusks of really doing good
And ears of imperfection for to listen
To malapropisms and feet like starved mosquitoes
Spread-eagled and flattened without blood
Pachyderm
The thermal tongue that licks the peanuts
And the snake bark skin
Like a tree trunk, gnarled and thick, as the crusts of earth
On which his feet are treading.