Shish Kebab song

 She was a shellfish seller

She sold shell fish on the shore

He was a selfish fella

He only wanted more and more

He ate too many shellfish

six hundred and sixty six to be sure

And she went right off this fella

As he was bloated when he floated she saw

She saw this selfish fella one last time upon the cliffs of Mor

And then balloon and belly flopped and was not seen no more

Oh what a selfish fella

To eat all dear Clemmies Clams

Now she shall sell jelly made out of yellow yams

There is no use in yelling, they say to her and swore

But her earrings are nautilus shells that sing of the swaying shore

So shell shocked sheltered shelly

Fell flat and flatly floored

The cat of catkin kevin

Who drew new blood with her paw

Poor poor Peter Peregrine

Peregrinated the parade

Picking off pecking pigeons

As they parambulated the promenade

Flashing like a farthing

The starving starling flew

As if out the gulags of Stalin

Into the freedom of the blue

Mid stream

 If you need anything

Let me know

I need a fish head

I need the legs

To walk on water

Like an Ariel

I need a chance

Heads or tails

Open mouth of whale

Swallowing up a Jonah

I need a fishmonger

Market stall

For sale or rent

My suit of scales

Cheques and balances

I need a spout

I need a fluke

Over the moon

I had a whale of a time

Turning on a dime

I went down to the river bank

And cast my line

I asked the water for some message

I hadn't heard of mine

A fish it jumped

Its tail thumped

Upon the bank it pined

I threw it back

Into the sump

Of blackness and of slime

But far below

The river did flow

Like a life in its prime

What waste to catch a rotten fish

When other fresh waters wind

And I may walk to other rivers

That will give me back my time

Red Burn

 Down from the dark, titanic mounds

Runs the Titans blood

Sometimes white as milk

Sometimes dark brown

Dirty blood from its deep arteries

Over salmon flesh, over cod yellow

Over the red Wrasse fish body

That heaves in the Glen

Whose gills breathe rain water

Whose lungs are damp caves

Whose Leviathan mass lies

In these watery graves

 

Whose back is a whale- une Roche Baleine

The whale bone ribs have been bent into waves

Whose oil and blubber are buried deep underground

And ambergris in its gut are the minerals yet unfound

They’ve been hunted by Geologists with their hammers like harpoons

Ready for the conquering like men who want rock from the moon

Fish lines

 Fish from the river

I don't live so much

Fish fall in love

Fish love

Catch me in my fish net stockings

Well stocked

With fish stocks

They rise and they fall on the tide

Of becoming

And I am not someone who has lied

Fish talk

Fish don't talk, they swim up stream

And I scream at them

Watch out for the middle ground

Where the fishermen prey

Watch out

So they stay in the shallows

In the shadows

Under the rainbow

Leaves

And tear at their heart strings

And pull out their guts

And gills

And cry

Washing in the backlash

Of many hooks

That dangle

I am fantangle

I am right angle

Cross haired

And Triangled

Hook line

And sinker

Because I was a deep thinker

And swam too far down

Twenty four miles

 twenty four miles

Like a wild goose

I chased you

Across the field and the fen

Oh like a sore moose I shot you

Across a blazing trail

twenty four miles I'm gonna get you

twenty four hours to go

I got my goldfish

And my moonshine

I got my pocket knife

And my redline

You're gonna cross me 

You're gonna get mine

Twenty four miles to go

To catch a clam

He was the most courageous of fishermen only the size of an oyster

When he walked out on to the harbour walls

The other fishermen would cat call him,

Hey little man can you date a crab? Can you ride a fish

Like a performing Arab?

 

But Peter Grimes just ignored them all

As he set off in his miniature size coracle

With a tin hull, for it was a tobacco tin.

 

Yet he knew if he could catch on a fish he would eat like a king

And it was his wish 

to woo the very most beautifulest maiden of the town

Buy landing her a haddock

Upon her gown

It doesn't matter how big you are she had once said to him

Only that you believe in yourself and sing your own hymn

Well if size didn't matter then Peter could surely win

The heart of this maiden who was so entreating

 

He went off in gale and storm and Hurricane

And his little boat was tossed like an oyster shell

Across every swell

And each wave was like a mountain

And each trough a bottomless well

But he kept on sailing his good ship lightning

To what end none could ever tell

 

He'll never catch nothing said the fish wives

Look he is far too small to sail

He should just give up and become an accountant

And live his life counting seashells

 

And the fishermen they jeered at him

And ostracized him in the pub

But there's the rub,

To sleep perchance to dream he thought

Of catching his girl a pearl

 

If they called him the oyster sized fisherman why then

He should dive down and pick up a shell

And tussle with the muscle

Which owns the grit

And has wound it around oh so well

 

And she could even have the mirror to hold close

To her breast, 

And take it out to preen herself

And even look her best

 

And I would live in her pocket

And be next to her warm love

And We could fit together like a plug and socket

Or indeed like a hand and glove

 

Now I must dive down

To the ocean's bed

Where the clams clap hands 

And applause the fish schools

As they go pirouetting overhead

 

So, he descended one day deep down from the harbour wall

And swam around the lee of the island

To a sheltered little cove

Where once he'd spotted an oyster bed

But which the other fishermen didn't know

 

And he took his chance in the morning light to dive

Down into the blue

 

The waters they were deep

But clear enough in the shallows

And he swam like a fish propelled by his wish

To be the pearl king of the marsh mallows

 

Down inside the oyster bed rows and rows of oysters gaped

Their mouths were open, then closing as the ate the passing plankton

And so, Peter crept up slowly hiding behind seaweed

Then pretending to be an octopus, he ballet danced across the sea mead

Two shells he saw in situ, empty they were of clam

And so, the two halves he held around him and said now 

I know who I am

A wolf in sheep’s clothing

I shall tread among their flock and when

They least expect it, I shall give them

Quite a shock

And hold open their vice like mouth before

they get a chance to shut

Then I can reach in and grab the pearl

And swim up to the prawn shop

 

So he began to do just that picking his way surreptitiously

Among the early morning clam fields that day

And none of the oysters really noticed him

Though they gave him some funny looks

Who is this strange looking oyster who is walking the wrong way up

And shuffling and tripping

over open lips

But none of them blinked an eye or moved

So at last Peter came to the mother of all Oysters

Perhaps she has the Mother of Pearls?

So he moved up to look down into her giant mouth

And as he did so

His half shells fell away

And he was revealed as a fisherman

Well instantly the mother oyster she gobbled him up

And as she did so he felt her slimy jelly stomach

sloshing and washing about

So frantic now was Peter

That he beat upon the walls,

But they were tightly shut

And his hand was cut

And his spirits began to fall

Until all of a sudden in the glimmering

mirrored dark, he spied the precious pearl

And it was heaving about

and rubbing the mirror and an inner light did call

It seemed to say

I always wanted to leave her

I need to get away

Take me with you Peter

And I will make your day

 

So Peter picked up the pearl

And with his back against the roof

And his feet against the floor

He forced the Mother Oyster

To open up her vice like maw

 

And out he popped the pearl

Then quickly followed the man

But then though the mouth slammed shut

She screamed and shouted

About how he stole her world

"Give back my pearl!" she demanded

Thief, thief she called

And suddenly Peter realised he was in the middle of an oyster

field without an escape plan

 

Suddenly a passing octopus

He stretched down an arm

And picked up Peter and his pearl

And carried him away from harm

 

So impressed was the octopus by Peter's cunning and courage

You are a shape shifter after my own heart

Now well I can give a part

No longer need you forage

I will take back to your start

Your amazing adventure is over

And you can return to your girl

And You can wow her with your powers

As you present to her your pearl

 

I shall, I shall said Peter as he thanked

The octopus and climbed back up the harbour wall

All drenched he was but walked still into the tavern

Where she was serving ale

And when she saw him, she went a little pale

And the fishermen drinking like fish

They dropped their jaws into their dish

And the fishwives could not think of a tale to tell

They were speechless too as well

As Peter strode boldly up to the bar

And presented to his one true love

A Pearl the like of which was orient ar

Never had such a one been seen before and never neither since

And all who saw couldn't believe their eyes

 but in their hearts they were convinced

This oyster sized fisherman had as much skill

 and cunning

To hold his head high in the community

And never again was a bad word said about this

 Smallest

Of fishermen see