Windows warning as 90mph winds hit UK

 Microsoft have issued a warning

That windows is likely to crash during

The coming storm and customers

Will need to update windows afterwards

Microsoft windows are situated

In the old  jail, 31 high street Wells, Somerset

Customers were screen tapping on their windows

Trying to make a complaint

Bill Gates, the owner came out of his own gate

Later in the day to announce that

He expects the storm to fully clean the windows

However it may take away some gates

So if customers would like to purchase

a garden gate, please see me down at the city arms

after eight

Gary the pole will be running the show

And Jimmy the flag is likely to be pulling some strings

Katie kite will be flying solo on the venture

And she can offer customers new vistas on the problem

The outlook looks good for post-storm recoveries

But we may need to go on a safari to

round up all the animals

after the flood waters have receded

Since the firewalls were definitely put out

A good day too

 Butterflies flicker across the sky

I think to myself is this a good day to die

Storm clouds come roling in, a front is on the rise

Too many people to know, with too many eyes

All about me the rains do fall

Like rocks from heaven off heaven's walls

All around me the young they die

And fallen bodies in the ditches lie

Come back slowly like an Arabian moon

Pulling the tides across sand dunes

No water to drink and none to cry

But you better think quick if this is a good day to die

The last adventure of a crazy loon

The last yuri geller to bend the spoon

There are too many fingers I hold up, too many to see

And the last middle finger you give it to me

Black trench coat

 You've got your black trench coat

Walking around for miles and miles

In and out of bus shelters

Under bridges like down turned smiles

You've got your full length trenchcoat

to keep you from the howling storm

Anywhere you go, your

Black trench coat will keep you warm

Storm Anon

 A- wailing seven witches go

3 pigeons step toe to toe

Temerity speaks their chattering beaks

And one magpie in the hedgerow

Dark sweltering blue cumulonimbus

Sweating heavy with sadness

Troubling winds tremble the saplings

Straight-backed they heroically struggle

Flexing lampposts tapping windows

rattled ravens, jackdaws fly off with crows

Backdoors swing open, as welcoming

A thunder god, come in tormentor, it says

To kitchen, come dishelve the dish shelves

Creaking ironwork of barns

Stand hollow and empty to new harms

Hills hollow howling through tunnels and caves

Wild winds over tame, trammeled graves

Only bones dry, freezing in shackles

Chained now to the earth, love saves

The day

Written in bold the blunderbuss wind gust

blows away roof from frame

Exposed now tool jewels to the baptising rain

Cain on a crane, and Herod on a hook

Come swinging their murderous looks

In the eye of the pain

Oh to numb the pain

The elemental refrain

Of the wind

It's monosyllabic yawl

And cry again and again

Some beast awoken we had best let sleep

But we were not looking

We had stopped looking so deep

That our souls were in this pain

This universal trap which we all feel

But cannot name

And no name, no name comes up again

When we all run and hide

From ourselves

Anonymous blows the windy storm

Though we try to name it

No name seems to fit

Weathering the storm

 Can you hear the gushing sound 

Coming down the roads

The water babies on their bellies

With the frogs and toads

Flowing over grey stone walls

Filling up the gardens

We've thrown down all our cement bags

Now the bloody things won't harden

Out we dash with broom and bucket

sweeping back the waters

Then we lose the broom and think

This preparation doesn't cut it

what was it they taught us?

But who knew it would be this bad?

Who knew really what would happen

If the farmers take down trees and plough

Then surely water will start lappin

At your door and at mine although

You may live at the bottom of the valley

Of course we all know where the river will flow

It's just whether the river will sally

But one thing's for sure, we sure lend a hand

To help out others in need

Give them your arms and legs, hold a wheelie bin

Before it floats off down the street

But there's no need to play the blame game is there?

These things are just acts of God

Except surely we can mitigate against them

By not replacing forests with fields of sod?

Perhaps why not create some catchment ponds

That way it can slow down the water's flow

Some flooded fields further up would help bond

And allay the more tragic affects down below

Some kind of agricultural plan must be thought up

To prevent this ever happening again

It was like this ten years ago when the levels were caught up

Because the rhynes wouldn't properly drain

Why hasn't the environmental agency had 

a more stringent program of maintenance

Then we might have a case of Neptune's Staircase

Rather than a torrent, a deluge of complainants 

Let's try and deepen the River Sheppey

Make it deeper and broader

I'm sure the army of James Heappey

Would be more than happy

To carry out the order

Storms Z

 

You could be Zeta, or Zola or Zoe

You could be Zena or Zela or Zebe

Zobe or Zib, Zacharia or Zak

You could fell mountains

Like a lumber Jack

But unless you're a storm Z

It won't be no good

To be turning your cartwheels 

In my neighbourhood

 

If you're an Andrew and Angie or Ann

Then you may turn over my light caravan

If you're an Andy an Ant or an Ama

Then you may blow me over like a Hephaestion hammer

Just don't be a Billy a Bob or a Bobe

For if you are either

You'll run right round the globe

And Peter yourself out with Patrick and Petty

And Potter with Harry or Hurley or Henry

And Hurricanes Hurry down a Stormy Alley

For these are encyclopaedias of Cyclone Sally

Chopper and Chaucer, Chav and Chives

Storm Eunice and Eunuch and Eustice and St Ives

Iva and Ivory, Ivy thorn and India

Elephant and Elbow and Elvin and Elver

Eels and Wheels and Well spring and Wheller

And Fatso, and Fortune and Fun times and Fella

Berty borrowed Barry

And Ben stole Steve and Stephanie with Kelly

And Casandra with Eve

Queenie over Quebec

Farmer Giles and Jeeves

Lupin and Lola and lilliput and leaves

And all of them Storm names or so I believe

But it doesn't matter anyway

As long as your house is not cleaved

 

Storm Song

Swaying pines and falling limbs

Stormy times and all sorts of things

 

Blown out in the garbage

Raised up from the ground

tumbled down in the torment

And torrents of sound

Streetlights flashing

Manhole cover protectors blown down

Snow drops and crocuses all hugging the ground

Ducks hunkering down silently

No quack can be heard

As they move in their little soft hurricane herds

Branches are scattered and dead ones do fall

And all that has mattered in the storm's

dancing ball

And the sun comes out gently

And then is chased away by clouds

When the wind blows violently

And blows oh so loud

And the little ducks on the pond

In the waves that surround

Little ripples upon the perfect ground

And sticks that fall like darts from heaven

And cracking whips and howling hounds

The hounds of the sky are howling and chasing

the fox of the sun

And round and round the heavens

They do run, they do run

And this is Storm Eunice

How it has rattled our cage

And this is the pumice of a volcanic age

 

As boys ride on scooters and some women walk dogs

Some cars with their hooters and some toilet bogs

The splitting and the wavering of the trees all around

The cracked limbs open in the hell hole mouth

And the split trunks open as the wind drives south

And north across the Mendips

And backwards and fro

And in through the mouth where the twisted ones go

And all the twisted, twisted poor limbs

That wind has wrapped up like a sweet wrapper at whim

And they pushed just about as far as they'll go

As it comes crashing down with the rainbow

And the clouds they are talking 

They are shouting their rhyme

And the people are sorting their Allotment lines

And they're holding on to their hoovers, 

To their hoops and their twine,

And they're battening down the hatches of their sheds

Just in time

 

And plastic shelters are here always over, over

And this is the way that the dogs call rover

and how do they go, how do they go?

 

It howls yes it howls 

And the falling rain blows

and it howls and it goes

And it howls, it howls, as it goes as it blows

 

All the crooked houses and trees come down

They are wandering all the town

The fences are broken and old blown away

And they make room for a brand-new day

 

And the storm comes down when the storm comes out

And they break down gently and all of them shout

And the walls fall down, and the walls smash out

And they blow down gently, gently about

 

What damage? What damage is seen today?

What damage from the fallen and decay?

Oh, the walls fall down and the crack in clay

What damage, what damage is done today?

 

Oh, the walls fall down, and they fall away

And the winds blow about, blow about all day

And they're making love, and they're making hay

What damage, what damage is done today?

Storm Eunice

Storm Eunice

Oh, the wind blows high, and the wind blows low

The wind blows high, and the wind blows low

All up the Bristol channel

Away to the left and back from the right

Come out of the west in the East are blue skies

The ships are beset by the spring tide

All about Storm Eunice lies

And the windmills turn and shut their eyes

And the fires burn all through the night

The beacons show on dark hill sides

All about the Southwest sun rise

Well, the wind blows high, and the wind blows low

Yes, the wind blows high, and the wind blows low

And it's no surprise and you ought to know

That the storm never is as bad as it goes

Why they scare us so because of insurance

They don't care for us they just have to warn us

Because the lawyers want paying and they tell us so

That the wind blows high, and the wind blows low

And the commercial ships sail up the market on a tide of investment

That they control and can mark us

Out to be sheep tamed by a shepherd

Whose afraid of imaginary wolves that surround us

And we listen so because it’s easy, and the food comes

in and words make us queasy

Because investment's ship must stay afloat

So, whatever you do don't rock the boat

Oh, the wind blows high, and the wind blows low

But nobody dies and there's a bright rainbow

The birds understand they don't listen to the snow

That's the white noise news of British radio

They fly in the sky and are battered to and fro

But they use their common sense and keep their heads down low

They don't need to be nannied by no nanny state

They just want to be free to sing on the garden gate

March on

 Oh they are going, walking down the road

Finding the friends

We have lost

But still we've knowed

Onward they march to

The tune of beating drum

Hark hear the Angels sing

Ere the mourners come

On down the road

They forever march

Into the hands of war

Which hold them in grasp

Twist them and pull them

Into monsterous form

Hark hear the Angels sing

Ere the gathering storm

Further they go from us

All loss, but who's to know

The charts upon the ocean

Where our ships are tossed

Keep up your heart's courage

Through night until the dawn

Hark hear the angels sing

The hour our hope is born

Love got blown apart

In the Chimney sweep make up department

IF YOU ARE A FISH PUT ON YOUR SCALES,

AND IF  you're a hare well

Make a tail

And if you're a bear

Then come on and care

Because a love got blown apart

If you're a tv then don't tune out

If you're a radio then scream and shout

And if you're the sea then come follow me

Because this love got blown apart

Because love got blown apart

I don't know about your house

Perhaps it's got four walls

Perhaps your bedrooms warm and sweet

Perhaps your sunflowers grow tall

Perhaps the dogs at midnight

Don't howl at the drunken fools

But I know my seat is poor on feet

For its love got blown apart

Yes this love got blown apart

The gypsy and the sailor

They rowed their rocking boat

Out upon the ocean

But their ship it didn't float

The storm it blew in rages

Like a snarling lion torn

Out from between the pages

Of a book that was never born

And sailors wrack their sails

And monkeys stack the shot

And big brutes of men are nailers

Of the gold that's cold not hot

And treasure lies beneath the deck

But galley lugs are lorn

And all got sunk beneath the waves

Because the love was torn

Yes the love got blown apart boys

Their love got blown apart

The four winds crossed

And the ship got lost

When the love was blown apart

There is a woman around clock

 What is it I'm good for?

Is it ever enough?

With a bullet in my skull, full of your love

Shoot me down at midnight

Kill me just at lunch

Duel with me at dawn

Pushing the buttons of love

There can be no answer

None that I know from stuff

That floats around the dancer

In a raging storm of love

There's a woman around midnight

And one comes to me at dawn

There's a woman in the dying light

And a woman when you're born

There's a woman every hour

A woman round the clock

And they keep you in their power

Until their ship does dock

Second hand of woman

Third hand of man

Hours of the child

Who counts the summertime

Making all your plans

Day after day

Filling up your Gods

Moulding like your clay

Can you bring me to you?

What should I say?

I am dying in your love

Dying on your lawn today

Big Sky

 There was a storm over the corn

On the day that you were born

Over the hills, a long, long way

Long, long way to go still

There was a dark cloud on the horizon

And a blue moon it was rising

There was a storm, storm over the corn

On the day, the day you were born

There was a kestrel in the sky

There was an apple in the pie

It was a case of do or die

And there was a storm rolling in 

to the big blue sky

In the big sky, in the big sky

Yes in the big sky

Where we shall fly,

When we cry in the big sky

In the big sky

There was a man on the hill

He was standing there, standing so still

Just a giant, with a giant will

Holding up the sky

Holding up the big sky

And they pick the bright green corn

Just like the day that you were born

In the big sky, in the big sky

Came from a big sky, came from a big sky

In the big sky, where we do fly

Where crows they cry, and spindles sigh

That's the place where you and I

Will go when we die

Yes in the big sky, in the big sky

Both you and I, both you and I

Yes in the big sky, in the big sky

You and I, yes you and I

Shelter me tonight

Give me comfort

Keep me warm

I need your love

From the raging storm

Come on and won't you

Shelter me tonight

Secret love, in a hide away

Upon a hill far away

I have wandered long and wandered far

My feet are weary, my head is sick

I need your home so light your fire quick

I'm coming in from the cold

Oh won't you shelter me tonight

I bought the bomb

I sold the world

But I'm a man too young and sore

To comb over the mistakes that have past

I brought a bottle, I brought a blast

When I saw you I thought that we would last

So won't you shelter me tonight

The world it is a dying fog

And I can be your Prince or your frog

Just kiss me once while we're alone

I can't bear to go back outside

And you don't need another reason to cry

So come on won't you shelter me tonight

I had left you on the stair

With coal black eyes looking like despair

But you don't know the times I've cried

The love we had now it looks lost

What was good turned bad then we got crossed

Wires in the fires of all repost

So won't you shelter me tonight

Reflections in the water

 And I grind my teeth

Yes And I say but then no

I act, I beat the foe

I give him what for ho, ho

Do I ? No

I grind my teeth and wait for 

The tornedo

To pass, to blow over like

A tropical storm over

A desert island

Where I sit in stow

Reading books

Grinding my teeth