It was late in the afternoon, as I was closing
When a shopper came in with forlorn look of wanton care
He was begging for it oo he wanted it yeah
He was begging for it oo he wanted it yeah
He said I want it quick, give me just one of your pears
Give it me behind the counter
Give it to me in the shop front
It can be our brief encounter
Just don't stop me getting what I want
He was begging for it, oo he wanted it yeah
He was begging for it, oo he wanted it yeah
So I gave to him his bag of salad
And I gave it to him, I gave him a conference pear
I said take them all, why not buy a bunch of flowers
I said to him why not buy another pear?
He said I want it quick give me a ripe banana, oo yeah
He said I want it quick give me just another one of your pears
So I gave him it, I thrust it into his brown paper bag
I gave it to him saying we're out of passion fruit but don't despair
He couldn't stand it, it drove him wild, he was pulling at his hair
He couldn't pay for it, I asked him if he had a banana down his trousers
He whipped out a gun crying give me my groceries man, I don't care
I said he could take them as he found them for what's an apple missing here or there
Out the door I saw him scarper, then I thought down the street I'll hear him harper
Cos that brown paper bag I gave him needed some repair
Sure enough the bag broke and the joke was on him
The thief who stole my conference pears
