Each grain has a plan

 There is truth in the eye of becoming

When it closes

The sun shines

In the drumming of horses

Through holes in the needle of souls

That thread us all through

With the thrumming

Tell me this would you leave me behind

With that dark look in your eyes

Would you hold me flat back

Like a sofa and a cat

Would you like Batman go out without Robin?

Do you sneeze when you look in the shade

Of all those dark lonely days

When paradise is found

Just on new ground

So don't give up

When there's more you have coming

We all have reasons to hate

We all have made some mistakes

But living ain't easy

and life can be tough

And all you can do is do what you must

And smile

With the East wind at Sun rise

For it will soon go down before your eyes

So seize every moment

Like it was your last

The glass is half full

Now don't dwell on the past

Raise your cup up 

And drink from the rain

For it may not be raining

For many days again

And just remember when the doldrums

Get you down

That you have one more foot out the ground

Just gift me your watch

And hold my second hand

Dance with me the time lord

Across the hallowed land

And don't go second guessing

The sand

As each grain

Is made with a plan

Superfluous to requirement or I swallowed a dictionary/Surplus to requirements

 Are you going to carry/take coals to Newcastle,

Are you drowning in your own words,

Do you gush, or blush at the thought?

have you had your (fair) share of it,

Is it hyper, hypermarket or hyperbole shit?

Are you being immoderate,

Is your style immoderately dressed?

Does your inessential prose

Go on mile after mile,

Until it dies of an overdose?

Will you play gooseberry,

Or will you play loose

Who has cooked your goose?

Barbed wire fence

 Who made the barbed wire fence?

Who made the rolling wires?

Who drew out the metal from the ground?

That we put on our sheet metal rooves

Who put up the barbed wire fence?

Who mixed up the tar and bitumen?

Who laid down the roads that we use to drive our cars?

Who made the barbed wire fence?

Who told you you couldn't go in there?

Who said this land is not yours?

Who gave us rights and deeds and laws?

Who made the barbed wire fence?

Did their hands get cut from the twisting

Of the knots?

Did their hands get cut when they wrote down the laws?

Did their eyes get sore

With the words they bore?

Did the grass blades shatter in the wind?

Did the cloud shadows cast long

Did they tell the clouds where the could go with him

Did they put up the walls in the sky?

Tell me who made the barbed wire fence?

Who conceived of the very idea

Who stopped the judgments getting ill

Which judge passed the bill

Who made the barbed wire fence

Who drove the first stake in the ground

Who claimed their rights to Eden

And how was it first found

I don't know if this land is new

I don't know if this land is old

But I can see from my point of view 

That this land has been sold

Who made the barbed wire

Who put up the first wall

And who told you it can't be recompensed

Who told you your pride stood too tall

I have to leave it at that

Because there is nothing

to say at all

Than I made the barbed wire fence

When I first thought of the wall

Sea friend

 Sea of Is

Sea of mes 

Reflecting in the skies for eternity

Sea of yous

Sea of trees

Sea of wes

Stretching out to infinity

Sea of mirrors

Looking eye to eye

Creation is a mirror

The sea reflects the sky

Sea of mes and sea of yous

What will happen to our sea views

When oceans meet and fuse

Sea of Is sea of yous

You can hold me in your arms

And I can hold you in my palms

Wild breeze blowing out on our seas

Oh sea of yous, sea of mes

Hold the key to ocean floor

Hold me please, so I may adore

All of you and all of me

Sea of you's sea of mes

Hold me then

Don't let me drown

We swimming under the sun's crown

Fisher men search for our souls

Where catch them in part or whole

In the hour of my days

I hold you in the sea of haze 

Something tells me we will meet again

So don't wave good bye

Forever my sea friend

Throw it all away

 I see cars in the night

I see all those bright lights

and the following flights

Of the dragonfly by the moon

It's not too soon

Oh it's over like the clover

In the pale afternoon

Oh the winter is silent

Oh paths of pilots

Oh they throw it all away 

With the hay

And the fans of the fire

That burn ever higher

They fork it away

They fork it away

And any distance is here

Follow me, follow me

I walk if it's near 

Oh far away

Oh yes just follow me

Oh just follow me

Throw away the key

Follow me

And throw it to the hay

Follow me 

And throw it all away, all away

Oh throw it all away

In the summer when you loved me

It was different

It was lovely

But you said with hay

Throw it all away

All away, throw it all away

All away with the hay

Yes the sky is turning grey

Now throw it all away

And the buzzards in clay

The foot prints only stay

For they throw it all away

All away

And the night eagle is on watch

And the sparrow on the hutch

And they throw it all away

All away

In the firelight

 Oh foreign legion

And the French trombone

And the horn section

And each is unknown

And the mighty ones

Are all the landys

The landslides are coming home

Oh firelights on the crosshair

Of the pioneers

And the bayonets

and the stars and stripes

In the skies and wipes

And they wash their faces

In the fateless night

I had lanoline

Lonoline

I creoline

I had oilskin

And the baby wept

And seal slept

By the seashore Sept

In the October hair

And the firelight

Of the wishing well

Where the water's plight

Didn't do so well

I marnoli

I had mercy too

And I colour

When I gave it to you

Oh the firelight

And the moon is strong

And the Simon trees of a Babylon

and the hanging dog

And the dogging doo

And the day is done

On a pantaloon

All the way we go 

All the way we see

I have nothing more

But eternity

Come back and teach me what you know

I ready for it to be

A rainbow

Oh the moon is bright and the firelight

And we're dead on our knees

And we're digger right

So the science is in the moon is she

She is sheepish like a coven tree

And the firelight

And the moon is bright

But I can't see  quite

What you mean tonight

I have hope 

I have hunger

But it's fading

And I'm getting no

Younger

And the light is dim

And the people swim

In the moon tonight

It is everything

That I want to be

Oh the firelight

And the robin tree

Oh the firelight

In the lemon tree

And the olive branch

Holding out to me

I want you to see

I have more to give

If you don't like 

What I say I have

It is broken plates

They are broken still

In the Grecian tavern

On the window sill

And I saw you there

Right before I died

In the firelight

When the moon was bright

Come on talk to me

Before it's too late

I have you to thank

For my very fate

There are so many reasons

To be quiet

But they're not enough

For me tonight

Oh the firelight

And the moon is brght

And the birds sing quite

Like I wish they would

And it's all so quiet

In the darkness

And I have inspired

My loneliness

Oh can't you see

What you mean to me

Well I meant it too

Before we ever grew

We were not alone

Not for too long

Just the falling stone

Hit the frozen pond

And it broke the ice

and it fell right threw

Just like you and I

When we were new

Now it is gone

And my heart is hurt

And I can't be strong

And I feel like dirt

Oh need you now

To tell the truth

In the firelight

Was where I kept my proof

What I heard

 What I heard

When the lock was broken, 

Just like the rainbow that snapped in the sky

I heard the light was broken

I heard the boiler snapped 

I heard

Your heart was spoilin'

And the Judas wire was tapped

Give me back my Nazarine

Give me back my map

I'm lost in all this Halloween

And the kettle flex is wrapped

Talkin' of the corridors

The volcanoes

Opening their doors

Talkin' of the frog prince

I overheard the sailor wince

And cry in the lap

Of the crone

Who talked of ages come and gone

And how he shouted for his mum

I heard the wailing in the park

Of Jews whose news

Could paper a shark

And all the arabs stole the dark

And light the match

That glowed the spark

I left them there to smoulder

and bark

Like dogs at war who

Soldier and lark

All clouds above 

And rivers below

The colours run

From the rainbow

Wounded Bambi, take me to the garden

Through the mists the Bambi stalks

How softly does she tread

Her iron heart a mask of life

Her hooves of solid lead

And yet she bleeds

Her scalp is nicked

from her pelt a trickle of blood runs

And I can see her softly tread

as after her range the guns

They have her in their sights

She wanders through the park

And to the children's playpen

Where lifeless machines

They stand in the dark

On steel springs

Once they rocked to the children's voices laughing

The bunny, the fox

The dog that barks

And all were so enticing

But the children all have left now

They are gone and will not return

The barren mothers stare out to the sun

And watch as the night's candles burn

The plastic babies have come again from the factory

Of google processing

They march to the hum of the internet's drum

And the hearts are full of reproaching

What has become of the earth they cry

They whine and whinny as donkeys they sigh

And what have you left us but

The long goodbye

Under grey and gathering skies

And as the Baby cham bambi curls herself up on the

The asphalt of the playground

The other disney animals come to life

And spring from their unsprung anchors

They bounce and singing

And carol, they cajole and goad

Each other on

Who can bounce the highest or

Swing the fastest

And the merry-go-round spins on

Then they break free of the playground crashing

Through picket fences

And go bouncing off

down the roads

Of privet lined green hedges

Their heads are bobbing above garden walls

They leap and

Smash plant pots over and fall

Send cats and dogs

Screaming and howling and call

Oh to the mothers of recompenses

Where are your children

Now you barren ones

Where are the generations

Of the dying sun

Who will inherit the earth

From our mum

But yet the hunter with his

black gun

And the plastic babies are marching now

To the town of the barren

And brown paper bag proud

And they knock on the doors

Of the mothers endowed

With money but no second chances

They say take us on board

We will be your brood hoard

We who will never grow old

Remembrance Day

Oh the young who fell to the sword

Yes their ghosts will live on in perpetuity

No more wars no more death

No more living for greed

Our great grandfathers come back in our hour of need

And we are invested with their spirit

Their seed

We who will never grow old

We will work the garden

And till the soil

And build a world

Through blood sweat and toil

And nothing will be feared

For the climate won't boil

We will cool it with our heads

Screwed on like bottle necks

Cool it with our hands

Shuffled off the mortal coil

Duke Google and the Gaga machine

 The babies marched

four by four out of the door

The smell of cider was on them

But that was not what was so meanacing about them

They were a baby army for goodness sake

Who has ever heard of that?

Nobody will believe me

Never since the Dawn of time have babies managed to organize themselves

or keep to some kind of formation

Then I remembered duke google

All the babies were wearing

google watches with google ear pieces

Some even wore google glasses

Setting my receiver to the 

google frequency

and switching to google translate -baby talk

I listened in

Shepton Mallet is dust

All this will be yours

Go forth sons and daughters of Showerings

This is your world now

Take back the Eden that God gave us

Buildings may crumble

Industries collapse but Showerings

Will live on

Next there was some kind of philosophical

dialectic on the the teleology of things

"God put a cider tree into the garden of Eden

And he said to Eve pick it and know the Truth

And Eve did and she made the first cider

For Adam to taste

Adam thought it was good

And so he set up a cider factory

Showerings is built on that original site"

As I listened I thought, how interesting

I didn't know that

And then I shook my head and told myself

Look they are starting to convince me too,

I better turn this baby talk translator off

As soon as I did the noises were just gaga, goo goo etc

And I could relax

But to think these babies were just being brain washed by the Babycham Bambi

And Showerings for their own evil ends made me angry

Google had colluded as well allowing them to use their baby talk app

Duke Google was an investor in the company

And he stood to win a lot of land in England if

The baby army succeeded

Deer Jon

 It's been five hours since I was at the factory 6 am, my wife is going to work as a secretary in the local primary school. I feel sick, a kind of cold sweat. Maybe I'm ill. You'll be fine she tells me as she goes out the door - remember to put the chicken on for when I come home. I get up pull on some slacks and go downstairs to make a cup of tea. The mail has arrived. A letter from the gas company saying they need to inspect our boiler. It packed up last week and I had to call a repairman. 

As he was fixing it, I felt sure I saw something in his eye, some redness there. It's this look some people around town have been getting. The librarian had it. A little distant far away somehow. Like they are talking to you but somehow not you or not quite there.

The toast pops up and the kettle is steaming and it brings me to my senses. I can't get over that feeling that something has changed. I remember the cadavers being rolled off the back of the truck into the factory doors.

In town I go in to the supermarket to buy a chicken for tonight, but the venison is on special offer. I don't know why but I pick it up and proceed to find some other ingredients for a nice venison dish. Potatoes, some red wine, herbs.

I throw myself into cooking it and look up all the ways to make a delicious dish. There is the carving and dicing, and after a couple of hours I've finished. My wife comes home, and somehow I've made it magical, there are candles and wine and we get on. I can talk to her like I haven't been able to in months, and suddenly the tension is gone, we fall into each other and make love. I don't think she knows what has happened to me. I don't think I know, but I sleep for the first time in weeks, the sleep of the innocent. 

The next day I feel like a new man. I'm going to find a job today honey, no more moping around the house. There is a mushroom picking farming up on the Mendip hills and I drive out that way. I heard they were hiring  and you just need to turn up. It seemed like a good opportunity. After eight hours my fingers were stained dark brown with soil and my clothes were dirty. One of the workers Alf talks to me about truffle hunting, and wild pigs in the woodlands. I can feel the cool soil, the wet leaves and smell of the rain on the ground around silver birches.

At the end of the shift I get  in my car and drive home. It has got dark by then, and there is a little rain. All of sudden a stag leaps out of the undergrowth and collides with the front of my Toyota. It careers across my bonnet and its antlers jam into my windscreen. I come to a screeching holt and its thrashing legs are beating the panel of the bonnet. As I climb out it has slid down to the front of the car. I crouch down because its crumpled mass of wet fur and legs is still breathing. It is panting hard, its mouth is open and its tongue lolling. As I reach out a hand to stroke its fur it makes eye contact with me. It fixes me in its gaze and I am transfixed. All of a sudden it rights itself, shakes its pelt and staggers off like a drunk at first and then leaps more confidently. 

I am taken a back and lean on my bonnet and then I look around into the surrounding woodland. The eyes of what look like ten deer are staring back at me. From both sides of the road. Ignoring the damaged windscreen and bonnet, I climb back into the car as quickly as I can and pull away. I race back down the hill to Shepton Mallet. 

I think not, therefore I am

 I'm not a big thinker

No I'm not

I'm not what you'd call

A hot shot

I can add and divide

Just to stay alive

But as philosopher of reason

I am slack

So take back the books

You won

Burn down the libraries

Where I learn

Haul up the stock

From the ocean floor

Because I am drunk

On the evermore

I am not a big thinker

I don't need the stress

Give me a meal in a kitchen

Life is priceless

But do I need a ticket

From an academic institution

To say I have read and understood

Their superstition

I think not

Therefore I am

Fish in Cider

 Ever since I left that Cider factory I've had the feeling something fishy was going on.

The workers, my pals petitioned for something to happen, for some jobs

But they kept making us redundant - the old ones first, then it was my turn. I'd only been with the company ten years, but I was loyal and I thought it had a good future. So did my wife.

Now I can't bear to look at her these days, slouching a around at home I am, mooching about,

moping she says. Why don't you do something about it! She screams. I say what do you want me to do? I've done all I can. So to avoid the cold bed, I go out walking at nights, leave about 11 pm. I take long walks down the town roads. You know, I know I'm just killing time, and I don't know where I'm going, but then I end up here, but at the source of my grievances -the cider factory. And it's still rolling, machines are churning out something, ocassionally lorries go in and out. I don't see people though.

It must be all automated now I think to myself. That's right Terry, nothing left for the average Joe to do these days. But because it's piqued my curiosity I decide to take a closer look. I walk down the road, the yellowish street lamps giving off a sickening glare, there's one though that is off and there is more cover here, so I dive into the shadows next to the factory wall. Just going to take a peek, I tell myself, where's the harm in that? The windows though are high up and I will need to use the lamp post and jam myself between it and use it to help edge myself up the wall. Still got it Terry I tell myself but really I'm out of my comfort zone, I'm 45 this year and I could do with shaving off a few pounds. Still where I've got to there is a bit of a concrete ledge cut into the wall about 12ft up and another 6 ft up from that the window pane starts. I just about manage to cling my fingers onto the window ledge and carefully I pull my head and eyes up enough to look in. There is a hum of activity, of machines mainly. I see some men there. The usual cider machines have changed a bit, it seems they've added a few extra ones too on a different line, I can't quite see enough and I feel my strength failing me so I lower myself back down and shimmy down the lamp post.

What could they be doing? What do they need an extra line for? Is it food or drink? The used to make Baby cham as well I remember.

I keep walking the night is getting cold, it must be about 1 am and I'm thinking of calling it a night and turning in. And then I see something I wasn't expecting, wasn't expecting at all. A lorry pulls up, and reverses into the docking bay. It looks like an animal transport like a sheep truck or the like. I'm too visible so I slink into the cover of some trees on the otherside of the road. But I still watch.

A man steps out, kind of stocky with a cap on and I can't make out his face. Not a town person that much I recognize. He hands a slip of paper to one of the men there at the bay and others start to unload crates of what look dark things, I catch glimpses of fur. Then they pull down dressing rods on wheels. But what are hanging down from them on hooks are not dresses, but cadavers, animal cadavers. I can see deer and badger, some foxes even. And then they are finished, the bodies taken inside the factory and the man gets back inside his cab and drives off.

This seem strange, so strange. I wait and think hidden in the bushes. And I am just about to step out when a flashlight searches about the road up and down looking for anyone and then the shut the doors and turn off the lights on that side of the building.

What could they want with dead animals? Surely they weren't going to eat them?

Once upon a rodeo

 Jesus I've had it with this

Acidic bullshit

The pale sky is crying its armagheddon clouds

And weasels are popping into their

Holes

Lancaster bombers dropping on Dresden

And I see what I have become

One whole

One pinched like salt

is

To add flavour

To take off an inch

Cut corners

And cut out the moon

Give it to me

Whole on a silver spoon

Look at my fat life

Given up all the ghosts

Of strife

Given up for dead the altar of tomorrow

I can't keep it

Can't walk the line away

From sorrow

Always fall in the gaps

In the pavement

Jesus I used to be

agile, good at hopscotch

Now it is more likely I limp

To the post box

Sending my letter of thanks

Saying thanks for the life

We had

Bad poem

Let's all be good

Babyshambles

 Babycham

The Shambabies

Walked out of the factory

They said they were making champagne

But they were really making babies

Were they real?

Was it a knocking shop?

I tried to investigate

But I could only see men going in

And babies coming out

Where were the women?

You need them to make babies I thought

Were they the same men turned into babies?

Some kind of shrinking or 

Age reversal process

But no,

Their clothes wouldn't fit

And anyway

The same men came out again later - I checked it

So these truly were plastic babies

Shambabies, hidden

Behind a front of

Showerings

It all made sense now

The puzzle pieces started to fit together

They held baby showers in there

Parties-perhaps

They invited the mothers of Eastern Europe in there

Who brought their babies

And then somehow they were plastic coated

But no, it was more sinister than even that

They were Frankenstein babies

Created by scientists, marinated in cider

And then put out into the world

The new doll army of Shepton Mallet

But what was their purpose

These walking automatums

To take over from the adults?

The could never grow up

They would never grow old

Would they simply stay

To look after the world

Be the next and final generation of humans

No more after that

A garden of Eden tended by plastic babies

Paradise - or so they thought

And their leader?

They had none, none that I was aware of

All of a sudden I looked up and saw in the bushes

Stalking next to the factory

Like a giant guard dog

The yellow neck and disney head of 

Lead Babychammer herself

The Babycham Bambi

Its big blue bow tie rushing the branches out the way as it went

Was it grazing I thought

It looked more magesterial, and queen like

In the early dusk it surveyed its grounds

And looked down onto the court yard

Where the army of babies was lining up

In regimental fashion

After the last of the yellow babies had assembled

The Bambi spoke

Goo gaa, gaga, googa gaga

Duke google and Lady Gaga

Walked out into the throng

Duke Google - I see now that is how he has controlled

The babies

And Lady Gaga has sung them songs

To keep them motivated

And in her meat dress she sang one now

Gaga gaga it went, and goo goo

And Duke Google said Google Google

Goggle, goggle, goo, goo gaga 

And the babies seemed to know and understand

Exactly what was being said to them

Luckily I had my baby translator app

On my google watch I had just bought

And it translated for me - 

Go forth in Shepton Mallet

Kill the shop keepers

Take over the shops

Like cuckoos

Replace the real babies in the families

And push those out into the night

We will take them back here into the factory

and they will learn the ways of Showerings

We will train them to make cider

And they will be our slaves

The parents will have to look after you

All the days of their lives

Even into old age

For you will never grow old

And any people who

Think of having babies after that

Will be thought of as mad

And the human race

Will cease to ruin the planet

For all the animals

Like the does and the deer

Who

 WHo is a better man than you?

 WHo is a better man than you?

I am not worthy, even to tie your shoe

Oh who is a better man than you

You conquer all the jungle

Put the animals in the zoo

Oh who is a better man than you?

He who needs no introduction

He who is a mercenary

He who fights through all the struggles

But never loses the key

Oh who is a better man than you?

You tell me I love false Gods

Of life, love and liberty

You tell me all this will be trod

Under the hoof of anarchy

Well your chrome horse

Has ridden rough shod over me

Tell me who is a better man than thee?

I could give you silence

I could even offer you war

But in amongst all this violence

Will you ask who am I fighting for?

Oh who is a better man than thee

Who is a better man than you?

Hell bus

 The bus was late it

Flew

But spate had splattered the

Mosquito of fate

From Manchester where

They all are mixed

Down to Bristol

And an empty

Practically empty coach

Of sleeping passengers

Why are they sleepy

You may well ask

But perhaps because of the mask

But no not covid

In this case

But the heated foot bar place

It was roasting

Like a grill

The women had their bums

Up on the seat to chill

But feet were hot not cold

Only nerves of the over heated

Oh the bus of hell

Down the road to Bristol

A demonic driver at the helm

But no you may be overwhelmed

Or under to hear me cast asunder

Such aspersions as the driver's

Own diversions

But he was closer to moronic 

Than demonic, closer to ill-informed 

Than devil deformed yet

Still he should have known

The drill how to turn down the heat

So 2 hrs later we passed the broken down

Stage coach being towed. 

It looked like it was making fine progress

Now, at least as good as our own

Some thought it'd have been better to 

have been on the broken one

While I was emailing Megabus

Asking for a refund and complaining of 

The heat

The driver miraculously

Turned it off

We all breathed a sigh of relief

However another 20 minutes later and the

Fierce heater came back on

We were stifled

We were reaching up to heaven

And pulling at our collars

Then finally 

We hit the M30

And soon we were dropped back

At bond street, Bristol

City in the North

She was another world away

And I don't know what to say

 She was far, far, away

She was far, far away 

In a whole other city, in a whole other city

In whole other time

She never needed me

Just like I needed her, just like I needed her

No never quite the same

She was far, far away

In a whole other city, in a whole other city

And I didn't mean to make you go

I didn't mean to go away

But I had to let you go

I had to look, to look away

I had to look to other way

I had to look to the south

She was in the city in the north

City in the north

A whole other city

A whole other time

The city of fire

 The city is on fire

From the city of fire

To the land of desire

To the cool waters of the dead

Where the living rise up from the bog beneath

Our feet

And the water is a home and a bed

But from the city of fire

Where the streets are aflame

And the people like matchsticks burn

And they cry out the name 

Of the city they claim

Oh the city, the city's on fire

To the land of the green trees

Where the water runs sweet

And it runs in the rivers

and quenches the flames and the heat

And I left the city of fire

To return to the land of the dead

Where the dead are living

And living dead walk

And they rise up from the bog

Oh the men of chalk

The men and the women of chalk

Billy the Bull rider

 Billy was a bull-riding rodeo star

Who worked at the Bath and West bar

He was a showman like a shogun who always gave his best

And he stood head and shoulders above the rest

Like a king proclaiming his crown

But it was all in vain for soon his reign

It came tumbling down

Oh Billy, poor Billy, why'd you have to ride that bull?

His eyes were red on something fed

You know you played the fool

When all your power and riches

They were in your hand

You threw them away on that fateful day

The day you crossed his land

You thought he was a dozing bull

Until you pulled his nose

And the ring that pierced it 

Meant to him

He knows more than you knows

He soon swung into action

His haunches large and looming

Like a colossus from a Greek statue

A Bull God loud and booming

A Minotaur was his father

And a red cow was his mother

Perhaps she was mad or simply bad

But the Minotaur he outgrew her

This Bull he was a quarter man

Perhaps just his Penis

Better known by his pseudonym

That of Prince Venus

He was a Major Taurus you should 

Have left him well alone

Oh you know his neck it was non- porous

Like getting blood out of a stone

You tried your hand at skewering him

As you rode upon his back

And your spurs they no more than knew you were in

For a full on bull attack

When he threw you too the ground

The moment you did mount

And it was there you lost your crown

Just like Jill lost her Jack

Don't go in the Bull field, you Billy

Oh Billy boy buck

No, you know you tried the easy way out

But it was just your hard luck

Always cross with a bulldog guard

And don't go flinging cow muck

For you know when that shit hits the fan hard

There's no extraction from the cluster fuck

All these things I taught you

Why'd you have to go your own way?

Why stray from the garden

Oh in Eden we only make hay

The balls in your head did harden

And your eggs they were hard boiled

But none can feel the schadenfreude

When you waste what you have worked at and toiled

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Bath and West Show ground

 Well I went to the Bath and West

It was high time and I felt blessed

The tents were divine

I was a child in my prime

With my friend we did climb

The stairs to the Army

As a sergeant Major barked

My friend leapt into the dark

But he couldn't grab a hold of the rope

And as he slid down

His hands burnt reddy brown

I turned around without hope

In hindsight it was perhaps a cowardly move

But we never know just how to improve

Anyway does pain do us good or is it vain

To try strength in place of self-love

We wandered on and bought the magic eye and it fascinated

And we saw the candy floss guy

And we past by girls who caught our eye

But oh Matthew was braver than I

And the streamers swam in the mid morning sun

And the bunting flew above everyone

And we came to the castle of the helterskelter

And it seemed so easy, like a river delta

Just flow from the mouth down to the sea

On a magic carpet of discovery

But reality proved a somewhat different experience

The long queue to the top

Was like following the herd

Of dumb cattle to the slaughtering chamber

Like sacrificing yourself for a penthouse view

And that was the nicest thing I remember

As I carried the doormat that was so heavy

Like december

And its black rubber sole and its brushed hair heart

That I should have slid on

But instead the mat from the slide didn't part

For I was too young, and too light of body

To give enough downward gravity

Instead the mat stayed still

And it would not slide

And then all the others began piling up behind

It was shame and embrassment

That I felt to the sound of the laughing,

The gaffaws

As I slowly pulled myself down the slide

By the bannisters and then followed

The descent of my pride for I shall never ride

The helterskelter no more

No I never rode no more