I'm so black and white
Black and white that's me
I only see right and wrong
The grey shades don't occur for long
I wanna live like a colour TV
I wanna trade in my coat
I've been picking up my giro
On the unemployment lines
Benefits to badger
Wildlife welfare cheques
They treat me like a charity case
On the breadline, I wanna break their necks
All the money goes on car parks anyway
These well wishers, it's true
But why don't they just try living for a day like we do
On the Badger Breadline
Hard lined, and hard nosed sniffing out grubs
From under a rose
What I like I'm stubborn until I get it
I'm unimpressed by their cameras
watching where my Sett is
How would they like it if I set up shop outside their home and started filming
everytime they come and go?
Noting what they eat and when and even every time they take a shit
There's no dignity in it
Anyway I'm changing, the emperor's changing clothes
I'm going to paint myself a rainbow badger
See what Chris Packham and his wildlife crew
Will do
They'll probably pull their hair probably re-write natural history
They'll put it down to badger stress from living on the breadline
He didn't turn grey, just for badgers, he turned multicoloured
Like a TV with its wires crossed like a satellite on the blink
Like the moon shone a disco ball of sparkling strobe lighting
And I just let myself go and danced like Grease Lightning
I just slicked back my rainbow locks and rocked around the BBC garden
I just let rip my rainbow ship and it sailed off into the horizon to harden
I've had enough of living like a pauper
I'm gonna live like Cindy Lauper
Because Badgers just want to have fun
