Billy the Bull rider

 Billy was a bull-riding rodeo star

Who worked at the Bath and West bar

He was a showman like a shogun who always gave his best

And he stood head and shoulders above the rest

Like a king proclaiming his crown

But it was all in vain for soon his reign

It came tumbling down

Oh Billy, poor Billy, why'd you have to ride that bull?

His eyes were red on something fed

You know you played the fool

When all your power and riches

They were in your hand

You threw them away on that fateful day

The day you crossed his land

You thought he was a dozing bull

Until you pulled his nose

And the ring that pierced it 

Meant to him

He knows more than you knows

He soon swung into action

His haunches large and looming

Like a colossus from a Greek statue

A Bull God loud and booming

A Minotaur was his father

And a red cow was his mother

Perhaps she was mad or simply bad

But the Minotaur he outgrew her

This Bull he was a quarter man

Perhaps just his Penis

Better known by his pseudonym

That of Prince Venus

He was a Major Taurus you should 

Have left him well alone

Oh you know his neck it was non- porous

Like getting blood out of a stone

You tried your hand at skewering him

As you rode upon his back

And your spurs they no more than knew you were in

For a full on bull attack

When he threw you too the ground

The moment you did mount

And it was there you lost your crown

Just like Jill lost her Jack

Don't go in the Bull field, you Billy

Oh Billy boy buck

No, you know you tried the easy way out

But it was just your hard luck

Always cross with a bulldog guard

And don't go flinging cow muck

For you know when that shit hits the fan hard

There's no extraction from the cluster fuck

All these things I taught you

Why'd you have to go your own way?

Why stray from the garden

Oh in Eden we only make hay

The balls in your head did harden

And your eggs they were hard boiled

But none can feel the schadenfreude

When you waste what you have worked at and toiled