Christmas Swansong

 Talking of politics in the bookshop

And the rights of the individual

That Boris should be shot

The Money made by May for speeches of a kind

And others far too intellectual

They talk on the sofa of Feminism

And communism and dogmatism 

And letting go of leashes 

And losing all control

And I hold on to quiches

And break eggs to make omelettes

Of the friends I did not know

And put all my eggs in a basket of change

And hope to goodness that it doesn't feel strange

Because I have forgotten the weight of coins

In my pocket

And the feel of rain on my skin

When I enjoyed it

And Chocolate

saved up for and bought like a child

Or unwrapped at Christmas

And where has Christmas gone?

Is this its swan song that Morrisons

Are putting Easter Eggs up for sale

On Christmas Eve

What has it come to?

That you can't get served by a human being anymore you must meet a machine

A mechanized weigher

Do it your self

It will save us time and money

It will give us more Leisure time

Baloney

Leisure time is fine if you have the money

So who will have the money?

A state of lazy people who do not want to

Work

Nothing to do all day but pray

Or eat

Hopefully the former

But then their minds can be moulded better

They say

They can evolve like the Latter

Saints of the day

We will become a society of Saints all on our merry way

Doing Yoga saying howdy do neighbour

Oh you are committing a crime?

Well you know there is another way

Try being happy

Maybe that is the cure

But to be happy you must stop being poor

So we are back to the rich government handing out money to their citizens

The decadent society

The happy ones?

But then we look across the water to Eastern Europe

Are they not happier there, yet poorer?

Freedom to follow group traditions that bond each other in a fixed identity

Not this pluralism of mass individualism which

is driven by capitalism and greed and getting rich quick

Getting more and more is the religion

So where is Christmas, where are the Christian values?

Everything changes, they say

You have to let it go

We have ethnic diversity

Well we have enclaves, we have ghettoes

No we have love and strong community and rising above the fear

and hatred

Onwards and upwards like Peter Pan

Onwards and outwards and off to Japan

Sea fog

 They talk about sea fog and letting go

I can't see clearly to the land

They talk about white grog and hurting hands

Living with dinosaurs

And relics of bygone lands

They talk about sea fog that rolls in from the coast

The dirty men who love a ghost

The shattered, spent

And turned up hulls

Wrecked on the rocks

Of overdose

They talk about sea fog

And I can't see clearly

Through the melt water mud

Of frost and ice

I feel the pelt of rain

And The Celt in me smelt

Pain long before the dinosaur bones

Were turned up,

exposed

They talk about sea fog

And a withered hand

Holding a torch of freedom and

Perhaps the most I've ever wanted

From this land is a home

They talk about sea fog

And feeling gross

In far flung corners

And roller coast

Ers

But I switch off the forecast

And watch the football news

Sandringham

 Now I think I told you about Sandringham,

Sandringham the only one

Beeswax candles

And smelted biscuits in a fire

Of the iron tongue

Now I think I told you about Sandringham

And how everyone there is so kind

They'll polish your rifle

With such aplomb

And if they miss a spot

Well, never you mind

Well I think I mentioned the war

son?

You'll be going there after a spell

And it will all seem quite different

When you enter the mouth of hell

Well I think I told you about Sandringham 

or maybe it I mentioned Jenny éclair

She's eating ice cream with Harry and Megan

And the blood has gone hard on her egg and um

The knives are all out in the master's bedroom and

I think I've now told you about Sandringham

The Big Picture

Half a girl and half an angel

Half a woman and half a man

Half a hippopotamus and half a candle

Burning half the time

Half a place and half a plan

Half a leaf and half a tree

Half of life, half infinity

Half of nothing is still something

But half of something is nothing

Half a sock and half a shoe

Half a clock and half a screw

Go off half cocked

Come home half pissed

Make half hard then soft

Half on guard, she's half-missed

Half harmed, and half alarmed

By half a dog barking in half a barn

At half a cat in half a box

Which the Magician half canned

Before he left the magic circle

half-banned

Nothing is full except the moon

And nothing is empty except the cup

Nothing is half but a tea spoon

That stirs down emotions then stirs them up

Half awake, and half asleep

Half on the make, then half I'm weak

Be strong, be wrong, be fake, bespeak

The half love to take before full peak

Then I half explained with half a cigarette

propped up between two cheeks

That nothing can be claimed

Except by halves are leaked

Because seeing the full picture

Can be too much for half a brain

It needs the other half 

In order to see the same

Then, oh

then only

Will two halves become one

And then there'll be a golden sunrise

Like two halves of the same sun

Teabag

 How come you say you're a teabag

When you're not a teabag to me

You know I wish you were a teabag

Because then I'd dunk you in my tea

But still you say that you're a teabag

And I count you one two three

Don't leave you in there any longer

Or you'll be as black as black can be

Maya and the Man in the Moon

 I'm sorry Maya,

The moon wept

I cannot bring your dreams to ya

I cruelly came and touched your life

With my silver wandering face

That looked cold and old

And lonely

Oh believe me that I love you only

But what am I to do?

I am just the man in the moon

Out of touch

With your love

I cannot come down to earth

To greet ya

Perhaps all we can do is wander together

In fields of stars

rolled out in our dreams

But, and here is just a thought

What if you became an astronaut?

And some how climbed the ladder of noughts

And crosses to reach me

Come and teach me your sport

I miss you Maya

I love you like a liar

Loves the truth, but hates his lie

And can't untie his shoes

When they no longer fit

Come and run with me in your ship

Come and let's throw stones

at glass ceilings and watch them

shatter and shower the earth in

illusion's shards

And then perhaps we'll reach the stars

And I can step out of my moon

And you can show me how to spoon

And how to taste delicious love

just because we deserve as much

Chicken

 Chicken wow, chicken in the trousers

DANCE AROUND YOUR PEN

Hen pen these chickens

They will love you if you speak to them

With a chicken heart

Some call of way back when

The Hen was brought from South America

Dashing across the forest floor

Chased by the native Indian

Who in turn was being chased by

A conquistador 

But can you see her this half human bird

Half a girl she is like half an angel

Who will never fly

But she will try

Perhaps to the tree top

Then stop

Perhaps she'll

Spy the moon

She'll hear the cock crow thrice

And her beautiful chicken dreams will fade

But be born again in her eggs

Specially hatched

To one day reach the sky