Long Sutton, Long Sutton
You've treated us so kind
Though we may be legs of mutton
Our roads to you still wind
We all wish we were still lambs
You see for they are fair and kind
And yet the beat of iams
Still gives us our peace of mind
Your cricket team, they are a dream
But to me only a figment of my mind
For I always arrive at close of day
And the players having left I find
I wish one day to explore your moors
Oh amore a moor amore
Like those Romans of ancient times
Their feet walked on mosaic dimes
Each step a shining ducat or talent find
Like us pining to say fuck it valentine
They explored the world of gluttony
Using a feather to induce a vomit
Loved pleasure like Cleopatra and Anthony
Loved comedy as Wallace and Gromit
So not too different except for tragedy
They had a few mad despots
But let's not split hairs, ours not theirs
We've still got these open mic spots
So thank you Long Sutton Cricket club
For your haranguing and arranging
Now we've paid the ticket price for the night
The venue, hall rental and even more far ranging
Paid for the privilege of reading our rhymes
in a space defined by performers
Just mind you keep well away from the crimes
Of pushing the boundaries of ex-reformers
For then like the Roman invaders who imposed
Their will upon the Britons
We hope our rhymes are better composed
And fill up the chairs we sit on
