The Bayeux tapestry blues

Down on the Bayeux

I got the blues

 They've been thatching and hatching

Like I ain't heard the news

Old Harold he rode up

To Stamford Bridge

To fight them Vikings on that ridge

He's got the blues

The broken bayeux bles

Oh who told the story

And who got the news

In them days so old and hoary

Well what have you to choose?

There's them dead soldiers lying there

There's them wives a mourning

There's them babies crying there

They've newly been borning

It's not like I am sighing

I just wish for the warning

That William on the waves

Would soon come a conquering

Perhaps we'd have saved our selves from the thrashing

But as it was some brother got shelved

By another relative's bashing

I got the blues, the british museum bayeux blues

Harrold came down, march ten thousand men

Once they were up, they were up

But once they were down, they were down

And they hardly got up again

So he marched them back to Hastings

And decided on a battle

With William the Norman

Not poor man but foreman

Of a lot of french cattle 

Who stampeded and trampled

Our tired out Harold 

And he got one in the eye

Or so it was claimed

But maybe that's a metaphor 

For Britain being maimed

And him not seeing the danger

But it seems today we're also

Afraid of the stranger

And everyone's running from

Pillar to post

Like Hamlet trying to avenge

Their dead father's ghost

But what have we to win

Or lose in the host

It's just life on the bayeux tapestry 

It's just we've pulled the thread

And lost the plot a while

Got in a muddle the most

Feeling the bruise of Britain's blues

Do we want to be reminded

Of a time we lose 

And we're lost?

Invaded again but this time

At our bidding?

Who are we kidding 

When we aren't defending ourselves?

The blue whale blues

 I'm a wailing whale, I've got the blues

They keep coming up throwing their harpoons

They want to strip me of my blubber

Put my oil in a lamp and use my skin as rubber

Oh I'm a wailing whale I've got the blues

I'm a singing blue whale, I'm the blues whale

I've got no Sperm left in the dogger banks

I've got money to burn but no woman to thank

I've got the burning blue whale blues

Oh man I've got sharks all around 

They're taking chunks out of me

I try and shoe them away

But there's too many in the sea

Everywhere I look no safe passage can be found

I've got to move my pod to some sacred ground

But now I'm wailing

Oh a waily whaley

I've got the wailing whaling blues

I'm a blues whale as blues as can be

You should have opened a shoes shop

To see the blue suede sea

Velvet as an underground

Hear the sirens wailing at me

A wailey, whaley whaling blues

I've got the blue whale blues

I'm as big as a bus

And my name is gus

People climb on my back

But they don't get off

I've got the blues, the blue whale blues