Keelhaul

 Don't you baste me ,

or bawl me out,

berate me,

or call me down,

I'm just trying to be a sailor man

There's no need to Keel haul

Oh don't you castigate me,

chastise me,

or chew me out,

I've been criticised

And I'll chew you up

And spit you out

Oh captain don't you

dress me down,

Or flay me

With a cat o nine tails

Of my nine lives

I've had eight

I'm not ready to go to the

Pearly gates

So there's no need to Keel haul

Don't you hammer me,

or jaw me,

Might as well hang and draw me

Because if all I'm good for

In the ocean's waste

Is just for you to lambast or lambaste

For more pace less haste

But just don't you keelhaul

Oh but you can lecture me,

rag me, or rail at me,

I'll turn student and learn the ropes

I'll learn one end of a yardarm

From a sergeant at arms with hope

But you may rant at me,

rate me, ream out the Ship of State at me

I just ask this if you don't hate me

No need to keelhaul

Oh, go ahead rebuke me Make me sick and whale fluke me

But if they approach will you reproach me

For crying "Whale Ahoy!" firstly?

Will you scold me with a fiery tongue Or brand me to know the score That you tongue-lash me

"It's for your own good, son"

Oh just don't keelhaul

Yes upbraid me, or downgrade me

Send me to the lower quarters

Get me to scrub the decks

Like the dreaming brows

Of your fair faced daughters

Oh bang me to rights

Or bang me up

Lock me in tight

Or in the stocks

Call me brass monkey

Let me carry shot

But just do not

Keel haul