Spare me now Lyn

 Spare me now Lyn

Spare me your voice

Your shrill vitriol

That sounds like no choice

Spare me, spare me now Lyn

Oh spare me, I tire

Of always hearing the same hymn

Sung from the same choir

Oh spare me the shallows

And spare me the deep

Let me lie with the mallows

Where the lily pads sleep

Spare me your anger Lyn, 

spare me your rage

And spare me a valium

To write the next page

All I need are your wishes 

Tied up in ribbons

And so braid them like fishes

Swimming in lithium

Shining so metallic

Like the stars on the water

But your heart is so Gallic

You're like Napoleon's daughter

so spare me your empire

of nails and rust

Oh Lyn don't be an umpire

In the sales of trust

Father and Farther

 And then he wasn't there

I don't know

You say he was my father

I know he was father and farther

And then he wasn't there

And then he wasn't there

He was father and farther, he was father and farther

And then he wasn't there

And then he wasn't there

And then he wasn't there

It was closing down

It was all closing down

It was closing down

It was all closing down

Shepton open gardens, Shepton open gardens

Shepton open gardens

He was father and farther

Schadenfreude garden

 Now the fact is the father and the sun and the sky

Are all limits by which one must abide

And I have seen gardens

Yes I have seen many

There was Eden and Babylon

And even Gethsemane 

But of all of these gardens to which we give

Toast

There is only one truly 

For which I like to boat

For I dug on its borders

And I cried buckets and spades

And I gave to the cute hedgehogs

Their time in the glades

But I have no answers

To bring water from skies

When the dry weather comes

And the sweet plant dies

Give it a sprinkle

Wash its sweet face

For not even a wrinkle 

Can be found in its grace

Oh I guess that it's over

I guess the garden gods won

Who is the Adam and who is the son?

Man with his apple, Eve with her doom

They go down to the chapel

To sweep up the room

And there's nothing to grapple with

No twine or bind

If you lie down in the clover

Then a vine you will find

If it is in our power

To make a paradise

Then hold onto your flower

And close your good eyes

Make a wish for the garden

And let's see how your love grows

For it's all schadenfreude

Like the name of the rose

March king

 Yes, you are worth more than diamonds or gold

You are worth more than rubies or sapphires I'm told

And all of it wrapped up in a sweet summer fold

Oh you are worth much more than diamonds or gold

You had a heart love, you had a heart I could love

And I had a part love, a bad part I played a black dove

I came down to your window, came down from above

For you had a heart love, you had a heart I could love

3 million boats

Somewhere on the coast of Portland Bill:

A:" Look out the window, there's 3 million boats "

B: "3 million boats! 3 million boats!

They're coming, They're coming

The Armarda floats

With lots migrants on them"

They'll be crying

How much is that boat?

I want to buy one

I'm going to invade a British island

Oh row, row, row your boat

Immigrants looking for asylum

Here they come to breach our coast

land upon our island

It's the Empire of the migrant

Who wish to bring their need

To the door of the motherland

Of the commonwealth of greed

Look out you mothers, get your guns

And lock up your daughters

They are criminals on the run

Trying to dock in our waters

Throw down boiling oil

Castigate and slander

And in the press, charge the rest

With economics of  a bystander

A: "No, no I said Look out the window

3 men in a boat"

B: "Oh, yes, that's nice isn't it

Thank goodness for that

Let's go out and great them"

The Seagulls of Cardiff Bay

 Oh Seagulls, seagulls,

You've gotta love us

Why'd you cry blue murder

And always try and mug us?

All we are are sailors souls

Looking for a harbour

Why don't you go and blow yourselves

We've bigger fish to labour

The Monks in their monastries 

They know our deathly wails

We sing to them in the morning

As they hang out their white sails

But we will never surrender

To the likes of them or you

We are the mighty Seagulls

Come hear our Seagull crew

We Sing " Return to the mainland 

Return me hearty lovers

Follow goose or the graceful plovers

Return I say to Cardiff bay

Return to Bristol Docks

We've been singing, our sea souls winging

Our heads upon the chopping blocks

So we came home to Cardiff bay,

Yes we came home to roost

And to eat kentucky fried chicken legs

Upon a harbour roof

And then we flew to Flat holm island

To brag to all our friends

About how we killed the chickens

And how we were as hard as them

But the only trouble is you see

We couldn't keep our legs

We kept walking around in circles

As if on some wooden pegs

It was Botulism did it

It was Botulism true

And so we kill and peck the eyes out

Of the weakest member in our Crew

Return, I say, return

Oh return my hearty lovers

Following the grey goose or

the graceful plovers

We'll be coming back to Cardiff Bay

We'll return to Bristol docks

Oh come see us when we say

Be afraid of the seagull flocks

Squids in

 Now if the squids are on planet K2B 

it's an interesting fact for the KGB

We'll be squids in

If you think you can wrestle a great sea monster

Oh bull fish or kraken

Or Sperm whale

Well make sure when you land a Giant Squid

That in the market sale you'll make a quid without fail

Oh Kalamari, Octopus

Or Polyp or Jellyfish

Medusa headed Eel woman

Snake fisted whisp

Put them all on the scale

Of the Market cross sale

But with a Giant Squid

You'll be quids in instead

Quids in, Quids in

Come and get your squids in

Rising from the darkest depths

Oh leave them alone my love hookers

With your barbed spears and good lookers

Find them in rings, or soft ocean springs

You'll be Squids in tonight