God's Gift

 He thought he was 

God's gift to women

And Macho man number one

He thought he was

The best thing since sliced bread

Best thing under the sun

He thought he was God's gift to women

And a real walking demigod

But well you know while he was talking

All I thought was what a sod

I thought flippin' heck he's joking

He must be like King Midas on Speed

Every thing he touches

Turns to Gold and that's just greed

I thought you shall not worship false idols

And this Pop star is a weed

He keeps growing in all the flowers

And showering them in his seed

Well God's gift to women

Macho hombera uno numbero one

Your ego's writing cheques so inhuman

You must be off the cast of Top gun

He's got a body of an Adonis

Like a statue of the Greeks 

He's so phoney when he phones us

It's like a plastic doll who speaks

He's making mince meat of ponies

And he's talking pie in the sky to bits

He's keeping mum and she loves his bum

And his auntie thinks he's fit

Oh he's God's gift to women alright

He's God's idea of a joke

He's a spanner in the works

And a stick in the spokes

He's turned the applecart over tonight

And there's a burning chariot wheel

And Achilles has twisted his heel

Oedipus Rex with his mother complex

Told him he would not stand up in court

But King Midas wrote cheques

And his gold finger flexed

And he ended up getting more than he thought

He's a disaster on two feet

He means to cause you harm

Don't listen to his Cheat sheet

Don't fall for his charm

He'll get you undercover

Then like a fire raise an alarm

And like James Bond he kills his lovers

While his mother inherits the farm

He's got too many arms

Like an octopus

and a finger in every pie

I wish he would go but he's opted with us

Rather than the spirit in the sky