The sinking of the great ship Sea Biscuit

 The sinking of the biscuit

Oh how the biscuit sunk

Whether a digestive  or a Garibaldi 

In war a lot of biscuits were sunk

The only difference between the Bismarck and a biscuit is a biscuit goes soggy in the water

Commemorated on Butleigh wood

By a statue of Captain hood

That greatest of biscuit sinkers

They thought he was a thinker

But no a doer was he

A very dour doer

As he dipped his rich tea

The very dowager of Mrs Dowington

Edmund her dove lover from the sea

With his slow boat from China

And his cup of Earl Grey tea

They got him hook line and sinker

The tea bag stewed in the South China sea

And the pacific blue turned a tea leaf brown

As from Peace they could bring out the pea

Charging in the Calypso

A monkey lightning free

Came bolt down from the blue

As the sea stew

Was a bubbling like a market of fleas

And flaying in her flaring dress

Lady Jane, not grey was she

But plain, as plain could be

Without her very rich tea

Earl Grey he sunk it for her

Oh he sunk his biscuit in

But then it did go soggy

And sunk to the bottom of sin

She always wished for Garibaldi, that most military of Martial men

She was sure his biscuit would stand upright at the door

And could well withstand a good dunking

Sure his Spanish conquistador airs

Would frizz up the little light hairs

On the back of her neck, but she did expect

That he would respect

Her as a Lady of greatest aspect

Then she found out he was Italian

And thought of Christina Rossetti

A far cry from the poetry of biscuit dunking in the sea

And yet a step up from Garibaldi

Who never lived in the 16th century

Ah the Dunking of the Sea biscuit

And the sinking in the tea

Is there ever a good time to risk it

In good drinking company