I have a body, I am steamy and smouldering
In an internally conflicted way
It is a strain sometimes
With the burden of my life's work - Assassin
Which I had thrust upon me
Now here is the girl - Jessica Alba
Who clearly I will get together with
Because we are approximately equally beautiful
I am ideally suited with my body and
my gravelly, husky voice
The main thing with a sex scene
Is to show my sexy and muscular back,
Sort of arched and for
Us to writhe a little in apparent passion or playfulness
And then you must show your back to the camera
And then I squeeze your bum
Camera cuts
Now that the money shot is out the way
There is the action
Fight sequences and shooting guns
Damn this plot is looking rather like James Bond
With the yachts and high rise hotel ponds
But then I am of a lower class altogether
At least I could not pull off Daniel Craig's look in leather
And my rough hewn features are ideal material
But I'm a little too bald to be considered 00-real
Still money talks and America cuts deals
We make the boulevard walk in the tinsel town reel
And the sun goes down on my mechanical appeal
Yet I've fought the good fight with 00-zeal
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