I'd rather be in Shepton Mallet

 Oh I could be in Ryad or Rome

I could be in Cadiz or Lyon by the Rhone

But there is no place that I would rather roam

Yes, I'd rather be in Shepton Mallet

I could be in Trinidad in May

Or costa Rica drinking from a beaker

On any other day

But it's not the sunny seas nor the cool mountains glades

Oh I'd rather be in Shepton Mallet

Shepton Mallet is a winner in my book

You don't need to be a good looker

To see that I've got hooked

It's the way that Collett park just rolls down to the brook

Oh I'd rather be in Shepton Mallet

Sure there are more Rhinos in Botswana

And I'm sure you could find a diamond down in Asia minor

But I know the orient has nothing near or far 

On the shining star that's Shepton Mallet

Oh Shepton is a king among kings

It's even an apple bitten in the chapel wings

It's fluted, suited, double-newted

Well-pursuited, barrel-booted

Queen of queens is Shepton Mallet

Oh I don't say you should never travel

But what you have here and now

Is what's a wonder to unravel

The present is a gift of the swift

and the heart is a land of the past that's never missed

So light em if you got em

and hold your loved ones fast

For there's no place I'd rather be

Than Shepton Mallet

Shit it and Smell it, alright!