Flash in the pan 2

 

The midwives were busying themselves on the ward

The porters were portering, and the waiting patients looked bored

Nothing much was happening, it was the usual rap

When a certain tapping began to tap

The matron cried "Ahoy there! I smell smoke between the sheets,

Either some aberrant's been smoking or there's a fire on the beat."

Just then the fire alarm raised a chilling sound as if to confirm her suspicion

And a-wailey-wailey went the sirens, calling for an intervention

The hospital crew acted bravely and with brilliance 

To remove the maternal mothers to a safer distance

Down the stairs they were evacuated

While around the bed pan macerating machine smoke circulated

Just then the fire brigade rocked up with their hard hats and their hoses

And they told all those locked up to hold on tight to their noses

And they stormed  up the stairwell, to fight the fire they knew how so well

The new mothers stared on with the look of one who had been stunned,

But then they relaxed with the resilience of the matron

But as they charged through the waiting room lane

A man decided to come down with an attack of chest pain 

The matron called for calm and order

So that her nurses could help the unfortunate border

Who had already had to wait to be seen

Now he had been seen he couldn't wait to leave

So what with fire burning in the upper quarter 

The mothers were gathered down at the breakwater

Of the emergency waiting room doors

But you know when it rains it never rains but it pours

And all these things were sent to try us

Including bed pan macerating machine fires

And before you ask if you can use the can

You better be sure it's not a flash in the pan