Caveman

 My mama said son, what you gonna be?

For you're nearly 9 and it's 45000 BC

I said now mama, why don't you know

I don't wanna lay bricks and I don't wanna build

I Don't wanna join the stone mason guild

I just wanna lie around all day

In your cave? She said

I said Uhhuh ugh hey

I'm a cave man, don't you see

I'm a cave man from 45 k BC

I wanna go out and gather and hunt

While my woman stays home 

Takes care of the little runts

I'm a cave man ,I got no colour TV

I'm a cave man, I can count 1 2 3

I'm a cave man and I'm on the prowl

For a mammoth to kill

While I hear the wild cat growl

So son, she said, the world is changing fast

You can't be a cave man and live in past

Your father he managed but was killed by a rock

That fell from a height while he was building a dock

Now what you should be is a sailor out to sea

Build a boat or invent the wheel

I depends how you feel 

But whatever you do, don't stay in the cave, 

for life's out there to be lived

And you've got to be brave

Oh mama dear mama, I wanna run free in the wood

And chase after bears and antelopes

She said that won't do you no good

You gotta use your brain, and think with your head

We invented fire last week otherwise we'd be dead

Sometimes it's cold and sometimes it's hot

But you gotta be bold make the most of what you've got

Why not start a jewellery business selling necklaces of bone

I said, I don't have fine motor skills and anyway I'd need a loan

She said why don't you get off your ass and go to the bank

The manager there is a customer of mine named Hank 

He can surely give you all the bones you'd want

Well I don't have chisel I said, she said What?

I said I'm a caveman, why can't you see,

I never learnt to write, only abc

That's why you called me Abel

And my brother you named Cain

And I think he's hiding under the table

playing some wicked game

Mother:

Now pretty soon Neanderthals like us will be extinct

Don't you see son you can't just follow your instinct

What you need is a role model like Cro Magnon man

He's over there looking so sophicated in his new clan

Why don't you go up to him and ask to be his apprentice?

Oh Mama, I would, but he looks like a dentist

Well a little bit more brushing wouldn't do your gums any harm

Oh Mum, I said, but she was having none of it and grabbed me by the arm

Hey there Mr Cro-Mo can you teach my son to think?

He needs a good role model, 

and Cro-Mo just blinked

And then he looked me up and down, 

and gave a wink then a frown

Then in his eyes I saw a twinkle

Like the stars had come out

He said sure I can take him on, but he'll work night and day

And when his time is over he won't receive any pay

Except life experience and that's worth more than fine bones

So my mother signed a contract that was written in stone

You come here everyday he said, at the hour of four

And you fetch all the tools, and leave them at my door

As I'm building something marvellous

It's big and round and rolls

But it's looking pretty cumbersome

So I am filling it with holes

Just to make it lighter? I said with a laugh

He said, yeah, you got it kid

Then he trundled down his path

I never will forget the day I left the cave behind

And I opened up a new door that opened up my mind