Cows in the field
Just as I was praying
Saying me Psalm,
The cows came from behind
Meaning to do me harm
But I kept reading
I kept putting my hands together
Each time I turned they had advanced at a toppling speed
And the trampling sound as of thunder came up
I turned again and they were struck dumb
By my lightning speed
It is easy to surprise a cow herd, indeed
Make eye contact is the first rule
Let them see you are not afraid
For they equate fear with walking away
Therefore do not give them any excuses
For their abuses of animal power
And sheer brawn over brains
Just like the Hawk
You've got to keep looking over your shoulder
Look them in the eye,
If you feel you're going to die
Stand your ground
Don't run
The cows are going home
Under the sun
And lay me down in pastures green
And the beasts of the field
Shall be your friend
Oh don't be a coward,
But be a cow herd
Stand up straight like a cowboy
Why do we never learn those skills in England?
Where arguably we have the greater chance of being
Attacked by livestock
Being a rambling nation
And having the majority of foot paths crossing
Through farming land?
Teach a British school boy how to lasso
Or how to holla at a cow
How to barter at a cattle auction
How to herd and how to gather
Oh give us a bovine education
Let us know our roots as a farming nation
Make us heed how to stop a stampede
Give us proof to contend with hoof
And know just how long to pale out the tether
make us cherish our boot leather
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