Cow turns, don't Kow Tow

 Cows in the field

Just as I was praying

Saying me Psalm,

The cows came from behind

Meaning to do me harm

But I kept reading

I kept putting my hands together

Each time I turned they had advanced at a toppling speed

And the trampling sound as of thunder came up

I turned again and they were struck dumb

By my lightning speed

It is easy to surprise a cow herd, indeed

Make eye contact is the first rule

Let them see you are not afraid

For they equate fear with walking away 

Therefore do not give them any excuses

For their abuses of animal power

And sheer brawn over brains

Just like the Hawk

You've got to keep looking over your shoulder

Look them in the eye,

If you feel you're going to die

Stand your ground

Don't run

The cows are going home

Under the sun

And lay me down in pastures green

And the beasts of the field

Shall be your friend

Oh don't be a coward,

But be a cow herd

Stand up straight like a cowboy

Why do we never learn those skills in England?

Where arguably we have the greater chance of being

Attacked by livestock

Being a rambling nation

And having the majority of foot paths crossing 

Through farming land?

Teach a British school boy how to lasso

Or how to holla at a cow

How to barter at a cattle auction

How to herd and how to gather

Oh give us a bovine education

Let us know our roots as a farming nation

Make us heed how to stop a stampede

Give us proof to contend with hoof

And know just how long to pale out the tether

make us cherish our boot leather