International Shopping Spree

 He was an international man of mystery

Then I think I saw him in Sainbury's

Next I saw him in Denmark

But he was pushing a shopping cart

Then they spotted him in Peking

Alas he was only doing his shopping

So we can conclude he likes food and travel

Not such a mystery then to unravel

Except next they saw him at an assassination

He was holding the culprit with indignation

Then he peered out behind the president

Helping the first lady with her rosette

The election was rigged

But it wasn't by him

His portfolio was loaded, it wasn't so slim

And all of them figure he had pulled the trigger

But he would snigger like Lord Jim

I was in iceland or Asda

I was wave-wasted in the bay of Bisque

Marooned off Camaroon in an Aucean 

The pigs had trotted off their schemes

To scheming ponies facing evergreens

And dogged determination 

Linden Johnson held his wenel schnitzer

Out for a Pulitzer prize

But oh I do surmise

A fall in plates

That stacked up on his garden gates

And swollen pride

And blushing brides in Eden

And Baden Powell

Told holy goats

To accost a cow on 

Dalmatian coasts

And more lured now

Than gory horrow

Of Hollywood Sundays With Mother Coyboys

Being abducted by Alien cows

Who are getting their

Own back on wiser brows

And beaten vows of rice pudding

Who are drowning now in 

All do - gooding

And cubbing, and clubbling

And cudding the pastures 

That roll

All the statures of stauettes enrole

Pfizer profiterole

Of profits in the first quarter of doom

It would be better if it never ended

For the vaccinators boom

But what bust, what straight jacket of trust

Can be wener scnitzel twisteed

Like a Pretzel, or into one

Gobenhetzel

Messerscmit bomber

Google dropper

Bouncing babies

Into a covid dam

But the jam has freezed and so are we

In the sea, the sea