COVID12 - The Politician

You see mine is a fine line that one must tread
A little too stern, and you're dead
Public assassination
A little too soft, and you're kicked off the stage
To jeers of rage,
And then it's resignation
Yes its a hard life this Political calling

And 24 hours is a long time in politics especially in the middle of
A covid crisis, its a pandemic, for Jesus' sake,
Ok it was only an epidemic last week
We made a mistake, which governments are entitled to do - I think?
We have the best brains in epidemiology working on it at the moment
And we must time it just right, taking many factors into consideration
It was the boffins and egg heads who came up with these guidelines
I own them, alright yes, I take responsibility for the death toll
20000 lives, that's the prediction, but bloody hell who knows
Here or there a few souls slip through the net, that is wastage
Yes, yes, the are not just number or figures, they are real human beings,
Yes, and who will pay my taxes if you all shuffle off your coils?

So this is my line keep calm and carry on, we need to keep the country going
We can't just ground to a halt, stiff upper lip, suffer the assault
Like the beaches at Normandy - Oh no Dunkirk- no that was a withdrawal
Well you know same thing haul up the draw bridges, we're on our own
Great British Fighting spirit -do it for the Queen

Queen - What! I'm thinking of moving to Canada with Harry and Megan
They seem to know what in the hell they are doing - the only ones I feel PM, Hmm?!

PM - Quite right Your Majesty
Anyway its 24 hours later here are my Policy changes
Everyone must stay in doors
Damn we should have done this last Sunday cough, cough
Excuse me PM we didn't catch that was it an apology?
No, no I was just clearing my throat, got a little tickle you know
Blasted press conferences - journalists always trying to run the show
Well not on my watch!
So what about schools PM?
What about 'em Barry, hmm, no Tony no Giles, no Jim, yes Jim
Old Jim Bob of the Guardian!
Well, my, we go back a long way - ....sorry , yes right Schools!
Do we close them?
Yes right we must close the schools, all children to stay at home with their parents
But they still have to work PM
Right well why can't the grand parents look after them?
But they are in the vulnerable age category in self-isolation!
Right well you are splitting hairs now, do you want to catch this blasted virus or something?
Just get on with it - oh and Police are now empowered to use more draconian methods
We can fine you or arrest you for breaking the curfew
What about the Prisoners?
Well half of the prisoners will be set free to make room for all the members of the public who
Will be breaking the curfew in the coming weeks
So our streets will be a lot safer
Hey we might even draft in some of those released criminals to become a sort of back up special
forces team to back up the regular officers on the beat
Sounds like a marvellous plan

Anyway good night everybody, I'm feeling a little poorly
And think I will need to self isolate now
As you should to - everybody Bog Off and go home!