Magpie versus Jay

Jay

I'm a colourful crow

I'm in the know

I'm tuned in to the wind

I'll go where it goes

You're out of range Magpie

You're Dr Strange

Your signal is on the blink

When I see you it's just static

Fuzz, white noise,

 Black night, no joys

Magpie

I'm a dancing devil

You better know my name

piebald, no I'm lucky that's my fame

I'm full of joy, boy, I'm on top of the world, girl

What if I steal a little, I only borrow

That never brought so much sorrow

I've hammered my tree house up top

While you bury your Oak nuts in an antique shop

You think you're a clever fella?

Well you've been storing your acorns

In the wrong lawns, gives you false dawns

You're nothing but a squirrel with wings

And the way you scream it makes my ears ring

You like to mock, well the laughs on you

Copycat, 

can't you come up with anything

More original than that?

You've got nuts on the brain

You must be a forester

Planting oak trees everywhere

You dig a hole and drop an acorn in

Then you can't remember where you've been

Spend the rest of the spring on the hunt for the thing

You could have just caught your meal instead of squirreling

 

Jay

Yo Magpie, you turn the day into night

Little black and white kite

Sailing against the wind

Bad Omen, makes a Sad Roman

Probably caused the fall of Rome

Blame you for all and a broken home

Flitter like the litter

Outta my sight

I ain't saluting nothing

You're like a puffin

Mouth full of silver

Always thievin

Can't trust nothing you say

You see a flash and you're away

Trying poach a gold chain

Why don't you try earning a living

Like me, I'm an honest bird

Earn an honest day's pay

Haven't you heard? Jay's a grafter

You're a grifter and a shifter

I only have to look at you

And I fall around in laughter

Magpie

You a grafter? That fills me with laughter

Especially after, I hear you chatter away

You never shut up, chump

You're in the bushes with your pals

Shooting the breeze chatting up gals

It's Jay, they say, he's not a serious bird

You lack my gravitas, you're just

a gimmick, cheap as chips, you chirp

and chat, you're like the chaff

And I'm like the grain

You'll be gone with the wind

Washed down the drain

You're only good for mopping up spills

Jay cloth, with your silly big bills

 

Jay

Well hey there sausage you can be my pork pie

You've come to the right meat shop

I'm the butcher with his carving knives up

Whats up? You've seen something you don't like huh?

I can cut you into rashers like a pork chop

Fry you in the pan like bacon

I aint makin some kind a joke

You  gonna be smokin

Like a pig in a poke

Chokin' on your words

You silver tongue bird

Forked tongued more like, double crossing

Snake in the grass, go collect your bus pass

You're old news, I'm the new bird on the block

And it's a chopping block, I'm sharpening my knives

Magpie

Hey Jay, keep your greedy beak shut

I've got the upperhand

I'm like Big Ben, gonna give you

The golden gong

Pound your head with my song

Don't you know you better doff your cap to me

I'm the devil in disguise

You're caught between me and the deep blue sea

I'm the hard place you can't get through

You're running into hell and I'm selling you shoes

I've got your soul in my pocket too

You've been Jay-walking and I'm gonna sock it to you

I've got the policeman's punch, I'm in the black and white bunch

I'm the boys in blue and I'm coming for you

Woo, woo, calling the police

Jay

I'm the Jay dog, it doesn't take a road hog

You'll be road kill, just a meal on the bill

Come to my party, we'll be dining on you

You're gonna pay the Jay, with your pound of flesh

Magpie I'm gonna slice you up, like a pie chart fresh

 Meat is the thing on the bone or tip of the wing

You can tip me too, I'll be waiting on you

So come dine in my restaurant Magpie stew's on the menu