Something Fishy

 I smell something fishy

Down at the sea shanty

But I can't put my finger on it

Is it the wishy washy, dishy sloshy 

pantry?

Or is it the lack of a mast?

I think we're on dry land, Avast!

Put out me hearties

We'll sail passed Haskins

And up on over the ride

There's a strong wind at our tail 

 blowing filling our sails

Throw the jettison over the side

We need to lose weight

The hull she's a sinking

A listing over to one side

From when she hit a car at Tescos

Whooah there she blows!

A whale down the West Shepton rise

Flukes in the air at West Compton road

Fire me flares on the ridge

Harpoon the Right Whale turning left at the hospital

Let's moor up here for a smidge

They like their tonguing in Bowlish

They talk in tongues down in Darshill

In Longbridge many sailors are Polish

They swig rum from the bottle on Tipcote hill

Let's tack into the wind past the Viaduct

The Whale is towing us North

We've been sailors since before the empire sucked

The British sure had a good few ships put forth

And many a sailor came from the Mendips

Many from the coast of course

But they hew down the oak trees to build Galleons

And Spanish bulleons crossed the atlantic in force

Wooly jumpers from Shepton hit the high seas

And they were exported on fast clippers to India

Jumping woolies wished they were on board them

But they had to grow more wool on them first