Poetry

Saturday, 7 October 2023

Placing an order

 A four pronged pick

Two Dutch hoes 

And a billhook


Look what do you take me for?

A pillock?

A billhook

Two Dutch hoes, from Amsterdam?

No the garden variety

For digging me rows

And beddin' in I suppose

Oh wouldn't you like to know?!


Oh and some flower seeds

Got any Corncockle?

In me pocket yokel

How about Lady's bed straw

Top draw

White Campion

She's a Champion

And grows

four feet tall who knows?

Evening Primrose

Evening Sir

Oxeye Daisy

I'll have four, for me and Miss Mazy

Driving down to the Oxbow lake

To drown our sorrows

Self Heal?

They're only in tomorrow

And Corn Poppy

Hippity Hoppity 

What a happy shopper

Alright how about a pair of telescopic loppers

Coming right up

From round the bend

Periscopic perambulation

Of a flexible friend

Draper edging shears

Oh yes give me a trim around the ears

And shovel square mouth T handle

Open wide sir, let me stick it in

Ah now that feels better

Your face is the ace of spades

Not fit for a king A Rib-eyed Stake

A T-bone?

No a sharpening stone

Round

Sound

As a pound

And a sharpening stone

Flat

As a pancake sir

Anything more after all that?

Just one thing my good man, and mind you're back chat

A lawn rake 21" Eagle

Eerie sir?

No, ordinary

Spread or Closed?

Spread? What do you take me for, some kind of crow?

Crow, a crow a cock-a-doodle doo!

Listen you cockerel fool, fooey to you

Well, I'll call you in the morning

Deliver to your hovel?

Sir, you are too rude, by the way add to that 

a shovel

Oh and a wheelbarrow

20 ltr poly blue

Right first thing tomorrow

Is there anything else I can do?

No you've done quite enough

I think I need a tissue

To wipe off my sweaty brow

I do believe we're through



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