The demon in cider

Here's one
The men walk into the bar
They drink all day
Then one vomits

The south African is a sports fan
He says listen I can drink you under the table
He drinks
The other copies,
Pint for pint of fosters
Or is it cider
Then after ten pints the other vomits

He walks out sick of Sport
And bullish South African rhetoric
Walks home
But he falls off the road
Sideways
Like Benny Hill
Into the ditch

He comes to in a stinging nettle patch
Disorientated
He falls over a barbed wired fence
Into more nettles
Loses his coat
Remembers what he saw in a survival film
About being lost in the jungle (well, it is dark afterall)
So Walks in a semi circle through
A large hemisphere of
You guessed it...
More nettles
To reach the same barbed wire fence
10 metres down the road
He falls over it again (in reverse)
And climbs back onto the road coatless
In the dark
He walks back home
Only the home he thinks
He is walking to turns out to be the
Same pub he vomitted in
about an hour ago

The South African has gone home
He meets a bee keeper
Sitting at a picnic table
Who offers him
Another cider
They drink.
Then a lift home
He goes to another pub
Has one more drink
Then arrives home
To find he can't find his door key
(because he hid it in the wheel arch of his car)
Luckily a side door is open
Which leads up
Some stairs and to the airing cupboard where there
Is a boiler
Which he hugs
To keep warm and falls asleep
Then wakes up near dawn
When he remembers where
he
Hid
his
Keys
or his kidneys