Adamantine

 Adamantine, a material that makes you more like Adam Ant everyday

Zombie Farmer's Market

 I'm at the Zombie farmers market

And they're all selling pickled brains

Brains in glasses darkened

Like looking down a darkened lane

Gherkins of amygdalas

Wishbone corpus callosums

Thin films of the meninges

Hanging like dried vellum

All the riddled, addled roots

All the winding passages

All the folds so manifold

Look like pale moon sausages

Oh so mouth watering

Such victual prospects make them slaver

And along the saliva soaked pavements

The Zombie Farmers gather

Ooh Ahh and lookie 'ere

And I'll 'ave ee one of 'ee pickled brain chutneys

Give me a swallow of a skull not hollow

I'll drink down the fluids, bloods and the discharge

It all looks so horrid, yellow green spew rancid

Butter wouldn't melt in their throat if they had one

But what surprises me most is how restrained they all are

That's how you know they were or are the landed gentry

It's all in the breeding you see

This Zombie life is Country Life magazine

With one shotgun slung

Nonchalantly over an arm

And a bloodhound at his knee

A beagle at baye, bugler in the hay

And the Irony is the Zombie Farmers

They don't even look grey

A bit wet round the gills maybe

Some a bit yellow say

Jaundiced probably lacking in Iron

Some of them missing a liver

But The Lord gives and he takes away they say

Any way He does on Zombie Farmer's Market day

A pirate's holiday

 I met a pirate upon a river cruise

He was on a Pirate's holiday

I said are you a planning

On some marauding

Or hoarding the gold in the bay?

He said no I'm not a viking

I just wish for a canal boat

And a peaceful stay

So as I walked along the tow path

I saw this pirate sipping cups of tea

What sort of pirate

I thought to myself

Must this pirate be?

He was relaxing and taking it easy 

Away from the hard life at sea

Where he'd been drinking rum

And stealing gum

Upon the Merciless Albatross Dizzy

He said my life is real taxing

And I should be relaxing me

Ironically I don't believe in tax axing

Because my tax is between the devil 

and the deep blue sea

Oh how I wish I were a busman

And not a pirate so free

For then when I needed a holiday

I'd just drive my buses and let it be

If this is love

 If this is love

Then why can't I feel it

If this is love

It's singing in its chains

If this is love then you can steal it

And you can leave me

To stand out in the rains

I have loved you like a marching army

Loves the ideology

Of the woman in the frame

I have loved you like

a restless railroad

Loves the hum of the rolling trains

And if you love me

Then hold me like a ghost

Let me pass through you

Like all my dreams down the drain

Oh if you love me

Then just let me hold you

And I will promise 

never to leave you again

The wasting of the waves

 The wasting of the waves

Oh the wasting of the waves

Oh it continues,in its motion

It continues until you're in the grave

The wasting of the waves

Oh the wasting of the waves

Oh can you give me a single reason

For this energy we have to save

And it comes and goes like the season

It's the wasting of the waves

You need courage

And you need timing

And you need them in great spades

And if not them then you need rhyming

To save the wasting of the waves

The wasting of the waves

Oh the wasting of the waves

Sea Shall I, Sea Shan't I

 shall I shan't I, Shall I shan't I

Shall I go to sea

Well a blue moon's in the 

Horizon risin

And I need a cup of tea

Shall I shan't I , Shall I, shan't I 

Shall I go to sea?

The Ghost ship's in the quarters sizing

And I can't see the Sea

The skeletons are dancing

The sails move

When nobody's there

The whole

Ship

Seems to go along

Like the Marie Celeste without a care

Shall I, shan't I

Shall I shan't I

Shall I go to sea

I wish you all the luck in the world

But I'm a landlubber, me

Shall I go to the shallows

Shall I dig the deep

If I travel to the shallows

Not soundly shall I sleep

If I travel to dark depths

The night may take my soul

Then shoulds and shants

Shalls and shoals 

Shall surely swallow me whole

The flooded boat

 We shipped it out of Market Quay

In the year of 63

Looking for the catch to lea

The swathes of herring in the sea

We cast our nets and dragged about

Oh and then the first mate did shout

Haul in boys we've hooked a trout

A river fish with a massive snout

But surely this must be a fish king 

For as we hauled him in the thing

Began to thrash and we could see

This river fish belonged in the sea

It was six feet wide in it's girth

And it took six men to hold it's berth

All upon the deck of wood

But this fish crashed through where we stood

And into the hull it went a heaving

Down below where believers were believing

Nothing so big could be landed at sea

Let alone a river trout with a double D

When down on the lower deck where tallow candles burnt

It was in their light that it was not a trout but a mermaid we learnt

And She was huge and heavy and really broke the scales

We knew if we brought her home alive then we'd make so many sales

She was though heavier than Archimedes in the bath

And the hole in the deck she'd made was no cause to laugh

As just then a giant wave came crashing from above 

And filled the hull with sea water and the boat did flood

Oh please don't flood our boat, we pleaded to the mermaid

But she just screamed like a siren and brushed her seaweed braids

But soon she gave us the boot and slipped out through the hole

And yet our boat was flooded and we sang out save our souls

So just remember when you're fishing never land a river trout

For what you think is a fish can be a turnabout

And if she is a mermaid it's best to let her be

At least there's always plenty more fish in the sea