wicked wick

 Down in the doldrums

Boring as humdrum

Winds don't blow

Roll em and rumble

Carole em and crumble

Waves they tumble and toll

Cleaning the foghorn

Dog lorn, grog torn

Rollicking railing and bowl

Octopus arms

Moonshine on the line

Mermaid or nun

The lighted wick

Burns through the night

Out on coal beach

The mermaid on a seaweed bed

A Wiki

A Timberman

To kill a gull

Camel kiss

 Two camels were kissing

A slibber a slobber

Two camels were kissing

a fibber a fobber

Lady Camel Queenie and male camel Joe

A slibber a slobber, they were kissing just so 

When Lady Camel Queenie said

Go down on your knees Joe

a fibber a fobber a Camel kissing show

She said get down on your knees 

and now kiss my camel toe

A shiver a shaver a bended knee Joe

Joe got down and kissed her toe

It was big and it was lumpy but it did show

To Queenie that he loved her and would never go

A sliver a saliva, a shining camel toe

Sometime later they were travelling

In a long caravan

a giver a gather an Arabian

Night with the stars that show

When Queenie said to Joe

I don't see much of you lately

Joe said I'm going mad at the end of my tether

And Queenie you're at the front, is that what you truly want?

You've got to let me know

No she said Joe, I want you to kiss my Camel toe

Oh Joe, it's like we're ships that pass in the night

Well my load is heavy said Joe, and your's is light

And you take forever Joe to walk across the moon

And you are always going down Queenie

Over the next dune

Oh you are like the setting sun 

And I am like a river

Who only shines bright in the moon's silver

And we could be together Joe

But you have caught the desert fever

And now it is time to go

Won't you kiss me good night

But Camel Joe just spat in spite

Don't cut off your nose Joe to spite your face

You know we are roving animals

We are a nomadic race

So come let's not be cannibals

And have to eat our words just so

Won't you get down on your knees

And kiss my camel toe

So if there's a moral to this story

It's probably I told you so

When a Queen's in love with an Average Joe

All she really wants is to go 

to the front of the queue

While he brings up the rear

And he really wants is to see her two humps

And maybe her rump more clear

But she may be interested in where they might go

For the desert is a wide ocean you know

Let's step one foot in front of the other

And kiss the Queen Camel's toe

The moorhen shuffle

 You kick your leg to the left

You kick your foot to the right

You get your feathers in a ruffle

You do the moorhen shuffle

Round and round and round the pond you go

Where you gonna stop nobody knows

If you meet a dog you do the quick step

If you meet a sea gull on the hop

You do a kick back

You kick back and forward

And forward and back

You wave your wings

Like you're in a flap

You kick your leg to the left

You kick your foot to the right

You get your feathers in a ruffle

You do the moorhen shuffle

Where's my Auntie gone?

 Oh she causes me such agony

I really think she's a plant

Yes I think her name's Antigone

She's my Agony Aunt

Oh I told her I found a dead body

Along the road one day

I said to her :Should this body be buried the right way?

And what did she say?

She said he's my brother, bury him in the clay

But the King said, no go have a nice day

Oh she's my Agony Aunt

So I lifted my uncle and laid him the clay

But the King got angry and

Got in my way he said

Where's Antigone gone?

I said she's gone to make Hay

Oh She was in Agony all of the way

She's my Agony Aunt

I think that she's a plant

She likes to meditate

Perhaps she is a vegetable

Because she vegetates

But if I'm right or if I'm wrong

It doesn't matter at the end of the day

Because I tell her my problems

And she gives me her slant

She's my Agony Aunt

My Enchanted lady

 Oh my Enchanted lady

You're so green in your forest scene

Running through the glades so shady

With leaves falling of Autumn's skein

Oh my enchanted lady,

But watch out for that branch

Crash, crunch it's too late, it was so hazy

In the fog, you missed the ranch

Come on inside my Enchanted Lady

Grandmother's not home, but I'm your aunt

Yes I know I look rather too hairy

But that's just my facial hair it grows like a plant

Come a little closer my Enchanted Lady

Come a little closer I don't bite

Oh but what's that in your hand, are you crazy?

Don't you know this bed's highly flammable, and you bring a light

Oh my god my Enchanted lady

I can't believe you've set my bed a light

And now I'm burning alive I thought you were my little daisy

But it turns out you're an avenging Angel of the night

What have you got against wolves anyway, my Enchanted lady

Don't you know we're an endangered species, down to five?

Couldn't you just have shown me the door, is that so lazy?

You had to go and burn me in your Grandma's bed alive!

Fire at Barrow-in-Furness

Police say there's no new clear risk to the public

or nuclear risk?

Due North

 (C) Oh my Captain, my (G) soul

(F) Take my ship where you want it to (G) go

(C)It's under your  (F) control

Now

(Bb)But the compass shows we've gone off course

(F)For we should be heading

 (C)due North

(C) North where the polar bears are swearing blue murder

(F) North where the soldiers aren't respecting the border

(C) North in the arctic circle, 

(Bb) and the straits of miracle 

(F)Oh North, 

(C) heading due North

 (c) It's getting colder, but my soul is getting (G) warmer

(F) Sun's getting lower, darkness (G)over my shoulder

(C) I was born in the south like a (G) swallow

(F) But I feel now it's my soul (G) I must follow

(Bb)On it's true course

(F)That's why I'm heading

(C)Due North

(F)And if you catch me 

(C)then I should be easy to spot

(F)My legs are running free

(C)And my temperature is hot

(Bb) like a coal

(F)And though it is freezing

(C)Just know that I am not

(Bb)For I am following the  (G)force

(F)I am heading 

(C)due North

(C) We are rolling

(F)On the wild free ocean

(C) And I am letting go

(F)Of all my sad emotion

(C)Now it's free

(F)There's only one place I want to be

(Bb) On earth

(F)That is heading 

(c) Due North