There was a time

I leave you the lion's share
The work has been eked out
Like blood from a stone
Like Moses in the mountain
I've been looking for my staff
But I can't find anyone
To telegraph

Like Donald Trump
No, let's not laugh
The Circus is in town
And they're looking for a fall Guy
Adam applied
And Eve lead a Giraffe
She said you must have a stiff neck
To put up with the runway
Everyone is either taking off
Or pulling over on the road
And She doesn't want to give you the cold shoulder
But Paradise was sold
And they bought the plot
From the Virgin Mother
Who tended the verger's road
She cut the grass, while
The day was cut in half
But it never did perfectly fold

You see the blood line differed
Between Jesus and Clifford
And Rochdale never made the bounty
Where the county line dropped
When I was calling up the cops
And the bastards put me on hold
Now what about this for an emergency
I told them
Someone is being crucified tonight
And it maybe me
Or it may be Ben Franklin
But I can guarantee
Somebody's feet will get cold

So they left me in jail
Until I turned pale
And all the blood ran from my head
And I asked the judge for two years
So I could sink a few beers
Before they finally cut off my head

They answered now Chris
Don't take the piss
Impersonating Jesus
Is a serious matter
You cannot simply
Go around walking on water
Or interpreting in a spiritual chatter
There must be a substance to your ghost
There must be holiness to your host
So get ready to give your body
In the service of your post
And deliver yourself freely
Without further delay

I answered the Judge
Fifteen lifetimes have I spent
Practicing this speech
And I believe it heaven sent
Then I turned to the Jury
And with a twist of my tongue
I started to speak sideways
Like through the barrel of a gun
And they understood every word I did utter
And it fell like manna from heaven
All be it in the gutter
And eventually the river ran down the drain
And the rats absorbed the chemicals
I had put in their brains

Now I think this to be the perfect experiment
If you can judge me holy
Then you must give me your sentiment
But if you judge me wrong
Then damn me and your souls
And send me up to the gallows
Or set my body on your coals
For I am neither good man nor am I bad
But I am wise in everyone's eyes
And there is only one place
That such a man can reside
That is either in a cave somewhere
Or he must be crucified
Because he is too dangerous to let
Wander the streets
And tell everyone not to be afraid
Of Spiritual cold feet
But that to be brave
Is what the lord will most cherish
So put your hands on the chopping block
And let the tools perish

So they sent me up the hill
And I carried my cross
And I they did kill
When they nailed me to my post
But I asked them one question
Before I did die
I said when there are so many others
Why make me your fall guy?