Last Pirate

 I went out a plundering on the high seas

I thought to meself, now this isn't me

This is the last time I'm going to sea

The last pirate I will be

I shall tell all my pirate buddies just free

We shall go no more a sailing

Hey buddies hey cons listen to me

I'm gonna show you the pros of the straight n narrow see

We're gonna sail to Canton and hand ourselves in

There ain't nothing worse than being a pirate, it's a sin

So we left Japan and went to Canton

But it didn't go to plan, I can tell you that man

On the 15th of November 1829 , well I was a pirate for 

The very last time

And then the English bastards threw me in the stocks

And I ended up back in London in Executioner's dock

And when they said did I have any last words

With my head in the noose I could hardly be heard

So I asked if they could loosen it a bit so I could yell

And when they did I cried I hope you all go to hell

For this is the last place I thought I end up

When laid I down my sword and put down my rum cup

Oh if you ever think you should stop doing what you love

I tell you you this for free it won't ever be enough

So keep being a pirate for as long as you can

Because before you know it you'll be hung by the man

So they hung me by the neck in 1830

I was the last pirate to be hung for mutiny

And other crimes I suppose like robbing a prison ship

Full of provisions,

But they whole scummy scheme to build a colony

deserved derision

They used slave labour to build Tasmania,

Australia and New Zealand

And then if you didn't die in the process

You were allowed to be freemen

But that ain't no deal for stealing a pigeon

And that's why I rebelled and stole the ship prison

I'd do it again, though now I am dead

So I'll just go down in history

As the last man to be hung for piracy

You can remember me as the Last Pirate instead

Beaver's return

 Beaver’s Kiss

Give me your kiss

Oh fell my wooden heart

Beat your tail around me

Oh lean your weight

On the willow tree

And chew, chew, chew

It free

Hear the train whistle

Hear the charts

Of explorers beating a trail

Through, through, through

Your woodland glade

Searching out your wooden heart

Bang, bang, bang

Go their guns

Geronimo fells the trees

But Geronimo was felled himself

One day

For a lady to wear beaver skin

Across her knees

For Davy Crockett wore your hat

And you were so cold and grey

You froze in the winter

And your spirit went away

Beaver spirit leaving the leaves

Leave, leave, leave

Oh lever your dam

Flood, flod, flood

Your banks

Build your home deep

In the river’s ranks

Godfather of the water vole’s art

 

Oh Beaver, won’t you leave her

Oh the beaver’s return

Trying to hold back the tide

Beaver, like a lever,

Stuck at every turn

Beaver on the watercourse ride

Beaver in the hollow

Beaver in the ear

Held like a swallow

In the palm

Nesting til the morrow

In the mud of the hide

Willow weaver, beaver brew your brown beer

 

Beaver looking back through the years

Looking back over the dams

Looking back at the back water

The black water, all you’ve held back

Woodland manager, nature’s forester

River doctor

River miller, water wheeler

Only hold on make a net

Let her through yer yet

Pass through your home

Living over the river

Running under your kitchen

Always flowing

Never alone

Vampire guitar

 I've got a vampire guitar

It sucks my blood

Like a used car

I've got a cherubim

Who plays a harp string

And fires at me all these love darts

I've got a vampire guitar

It sleeps in a case until it's dark

And when the sun comes down

It gets up and wanders town

Looking for a love victim's heart

Yes it will play on her heart strings

It will search for her neck

and in each tune it plays

it will suck her blood right back

She will be all used up

Just like a second hand car

For I have a vampire guitar

I used to be a nice guy

And stand up in the corn

And wait for the harvester

To come chop me down as if I were a lawn

But then I realized that never got me very far

So that's why I bought my vampire guitar

Sound the claxon

 The people of Wells

Are singing their kells

And walking the path with their feet

The people of Shepton

Are blowing their claxon

And sounding a march in retreat

For you know when they join 

The two sides of the coin

Both will be facing defeat

For the Sheptonians are like stone

And the Wellsonians like bone

And it will be like when two tribes meet

So perhaps don't try to bridge the gap

That once fell from the map

But instead let sleeping dogs sleep

Flowers in your vase

 

D Well I brought you flowers D7 in the morning

D And I brought you flowers D7 in the day

D Well I brought you flowers

D7because of their special powers

D I thought that they might D7 make you stay

 

Dm Well I brought you D7 flowers in the evening

D And I brought you D7 flowers in the day

Well I brought you flowers in the nighttime hours

I thought that they might make you stay

 

D Just don’t make me D7 by your powers

A7Just another G dead flower in the D vase

 

 

D My heart is like D7 a ticking clock

D It ticks all day D7 long for you

D And your love is like D7 a ticking bomb

D When it blows D7 I’ll know we’re through

 

D And if you blow me down D7 all day long

D Well there’s no telling D7 what I might do

D Because I know you’re D7 like a ticking bomb

And when you blow, I’ll know that we’re through

 

D Just don’t make me D7 by your powers

A7 another G dead soldier Dm dressed in blue

 

D Well the clock in town keeps winding down

But it still chimes each hour for you

And the sand in the bay keeps slipping away

When it’s gone, I’ll know we’re through

 

D Just don’t make me D7 by your powers

A7 another G7 dead fish in the Dm Brue D7

 

D But the tide keeps washing D7the shore mama

D And I can't see our footprints D7 no more

D And I hope with these flowers 

D7you'll shatter these towers

D They’ll come crashing D7down at your door

 

D Just don’t make me D7 by your powers

A7 another G7dead crow on the Dm floor D7

 

 

D And this day, D7now it is done

D And the sun has D7shone in its way, 

D And my heart is like D7 a ship sailing on

D It's sailing, D7 out into the bay

D And just like the sun 

D7 It is going, going, gone

D gone on its way

 

 

D Just don’t make me D7 by your powers

A7 another G7 dead flower G in your Dm vase

Love in the marigolds

 Well I loved you

In your marigolds

And I stepped over

The threshold

Just to slip down

The centrefold

Into the magazine world 

That you knew

In it was so yellow and blue

And it was so green and gold

As I fell like the snow

More and more

In love with you

Well the dishes were never clean

And the fishes they were never seen

But I caught you fishing in the stream

And the music of the strings

The bow finger violins

And the tulip harps

Played your lovely tune

Because I met you

While our hearts were young

And they still sung

Out our fugue

That plays in winter

But it always sounds

Just like June

Now I can see every man

They love you so

Because you sing the song

On the radio

And on your tongue

Is like a flute of power

You're like a song bird

And I've never heard

Such a lovely voice

Issue forth from such 

A lovely flower

Oh my word

Owl versus mouse versus bat, versus night heron

 My name's the night heron

now I might be playin

When you hear me sayin

I'm in the shadows shady

Owl

Howl of the wolf

Growl of the bear

There's nothing out there

At which I scare

I'm your worst nightmare

No I don't want to blow hot air

But I can rotate my head

The circle I can square

And my eyes are wide

And ears have might

My feathers dampen

The sound of flight

And out the black I appear

Your worst nightmare

Be you Mouse or shrew or hare

So up there in the dark, it could

Strike at any moment

I have to run along my tunnels of grass

Then skip along the walls

I'm out here bold as brass

I'm the mouse with balls

Don't take me for a second rater

I'm the second comer if anything at all

If you leave your cheese grater

I'll be ready to nibble any scrap that falls

I see above and behind

I have eyes in the back of my head

But still with my mouses senses

I can feel the Owl's wings of dread

Owl

Oh such a plump little plumb

For for me to swallow

Toe and thumb, yum, yum in my tum

You go

Hold me tight to your breast

I'll grip you in my talons

I have talents on the wing

I am kind wouldn't hurt a fly

I'll leave that to the bat guy

Over there