Rule the British Empire

 Britain Victorious?

All other countries ignore us

We wouldn't know how to rule the world

Or the difference between a penguin and a walrus

God save our has-been

It is a bit thin and mean

Since the last time was seen

And rumble rumble, there goes our motor cars

They work like some worn out stars

Still bringing home the bacon

After the horse has long bolted

Britain never never shall make waves

I think we are particles, but some say its not a quantum world

And a little change here will cause a whirlwind in Japan

Certainly our fashion sucks and have you tried our food? Good Luck!

What we really are good at is producing criminals and we like to fuck

But that is about all

Murder is number one leisure / free time activity

Followed by a cup of tea, then down the Bingo Hall

If you want Variety we have a bunch on our TV

Some of the worst acts in history

And don't mention the state of schools

The thing we do best of all,

Is fail heroically

It is in our DNA to laugh at ourselves

It doesn't really matter who is getting mugged

For their handbag, as long as football thugs are glad

Then the country will succeed

Of course we need a super model, like Jordan with the giant jugs

Or to watch Big brother and see others giving huge hugs

From the safety of our setees

So Britain never, never shall make waves

We might become China's slaves

And be run by Algorithms

But the Royal Family shall be saved

In the form of auto eroticism

And android sheep now roam our hills

Jerusalem was penned upon the back of dollar bills

And who can shake the hand of John Stuart Mills

But Sheik Ali and his company whom we sell our arms

and our grandmother's charms in exchange for crude oil