The Bag Song

Ransacked
Cul-de-sac
Everybody back-packed
Fanny pack, bum bag
Everybody carry a swag

All I have to say is that
Suitcases can make your bum look fat

Handbag, wag-bag
Baghdad satchel fad
Leather-case bootlace
Tie it satch-mo face
All I have to say is that
Bum bags make your bum look fat

Tie it, Zip it, no body rip it
Sainsbury's, Asda, home shop in Mazda
Sling it in, bring it in, fold it up,
Ring a ding
All I have to say is that
Carrier bags make your bum look fat

IKEA Tarpaulin, Marks and Spencer
Hempen thing
Fabric, magic, silk wool or plastic
Top end, bottom shelf
Pick one up, help yourself
Throw away society
If it doesn't fly, it isn't free
Nobody needs a bag (for life) for their health

Carpet baggin', carpet shaggin'
Brown paper bag of gin
Dumpster, thumpster, down and out gangster

On a plane vomit
Save yourself, breathe calm again
Feel like a comet
On a rise, then a fall
Visit the can, then bag it all
all I have to say is that
A body bag can make your bum look fat

On a mountain, in a fountain
Hike it, bike it, everybody like it
Advertise for sore-eyes, everyone economize
Too big, too small, over shoulder tennis ball
Hurricane too bad, Glaswegian Bawl bag

All I have to say is that some bags don’t make your bum

Look fat

String strap, chin-strap

Everybody brain rap

All I have to say is that

Purses don’t make your bum look fat

Purses, curses, everyone reverses

Inside, outside, make it black or white side

Lining, pining every bag defining

Each a different lining

All I have to say is that

Diamond studded handbags don’t make your bum look fat

Silver buckle, copper knuckle,

Knuckle duster, feather fluster

Pretty, frilly, every kind of silly

All I have to say is that laptop bags

Don’t make your bum look fat

Snake skin, fake skin, even keep a steak in

Make-up, lip stick, take up a dip stick

Micro-wave seal-able, Gold fish save

Its steal-able

All I have to say is that coconut shies

Don’t make your bum look fat

Man-bag, grab-a-bag, what a slag in  Baghdad

Make a point, turn a corner, light a joint

Feed a feeler, all I have to say is that

Metrosexuals can make your bum look fat

Here’s a bag, there’s a bag

Everybody Hacky-sack

Feed the lack, fill the black

Bag it, sag it, everybody hag it

All I have to say is that

Everybody makes out everybody else is fat

Sure, you disclaim it, you may even exclaim

Or claim it – its in the bag, it’s yours

Pull up your pants

Fill up your draws

Don’t try to shame it, explain it or name it

That bag is to blame for it

All I have to say is that

No bag can make your bum look fat

It doesn’t matter anyways

The writings on the motorways

The plane takes off

Another lands

It's all the same in a bag-less land

For nobody carries you

No dog collects its own poo

We all choose to use you

Even throw you out, abuse you

Oh bag, only a bag lady really does love you

Let’s leave it at that

Only a Bum can make a bag look fat