Eton Mess

 You can buy your way into England

You can be a great success

But the only thing you need to know

Is how to eat the Eton mess

Oh the Eton mess is never beaten

Oh the Eton mess is the best

There's only one road to the top

And it never stops

Its name is the Eton Express

Don't worry about changing your name girls

Don't think about marrying a lord

The only thing that matters in the whole wide world

Is if you ate at Eton with a knife and fork

No you're never gonna hit the big time

Not with connections like that

It doesn't matter if you're from London

And swam the Thames  from bank to bank

If you speak with an accent

Like Birmingham, or Scottish or Yank

The only things that stand up on the cream 

Are boys from the Eton rank

You can sail in on a ship from Canada

Or come in on the wind from a diaspora

You can serve in the regular army

Or in the Special constabulary

You can dress to impress 

Even marry a Princess

But the only true path to your success

Is to have dined on the Eton mess

Oh perhaps you should have come

In the Norman conquest

When land was free to a stern request

And they cut off your ear

And said listen to me here

We're your guests

Now serve us some of your mess!

Back then the hierarchy started

Stood on another's head until it smarted

Then you can reach the ledge

Of the next social sandwich

Only to find the ones above you have departed

So try to make do or make a mends

If you are of the few or of many friends

Lead a good life away from such strife

Let bygones be bygones until the end

And one thing is true I must confess

I've myself never eaten the Eton mess

dreams

 Oh my heart's on the wet stone

And my sorrow's the leaves

And I'm feeling so all alone

And I yet I have to believe

We all were made of bone

To dust we must cleave

The love of another one

Is just only too brief

I've been searching in the gutters

and the streams

And I hear someone mutters

Their life dreams

Looking in the river of stars

That gleam

And in the windows of cars

That beam

Searching for some pity in this town

Searching up and searching down

Looking for some pity in this city

But what I find is mean, lacking dignity

What has happened to the dreams of the man

Who writhes around drinking from a cider can

What is there in life to which he clings

Life to him seems a wretched thing

Can you spare him a look

Can you give to her a book

Let him read of what it sings

That life indeed is a wonderful thing

Searching for some pity in this town

Searching up and searching down

What I find I cannot fully tell

For whom the bell tolls, it's for you as well

Windows warning as 90mph winds hit UK

 Microsoft have issued a warning

That windows is likely to crash during

The coming storm and customers

Will need to update windows afterwards

Microsoft windows are situated

In the old  jail, 31 high street Wells, Somerset

Customers were screen tapping on their windows

Trying to make a complaint

Bill Gates, the owner came out of his own gate

Later in the day to announce that

He expects the storm to fully clean the windows

However it may take away some gates

So if customers would like to purchase

a garden gate, please see me down at the city arms

after eight

Gary the pole will be running the show

And Jimmy the flag is likely to be pulling some strings

Katie kite will be flying solo on the venture

And she can offer customers new vistas on the problem

The outlook looks good for post-storm recoveries

But we may need to go on a safari to

round up all the animals

after the flood waters have receded

Since the firewalls were definitely put out

Moon face

 I've seen the moon

It was looking at you

Like a mirror

Implacable grey-silver

Can't make out if I recognise your face

Old moon, are you looking at me?

Are you the same I remember

When I was younger

Those days in colour

Vivid in my memory

Were you always there watching

Reminding me

Some hint that life can be sad

But old moon face

You turn the Sun's face blue

Your silver face makes me mad

People like us

 People like us

We don't make money

People like us riff-raff

Oh we're the hoi-polloi

we can't mix with the elite

The rich, the real cool cats

People like us have to make do

Let it go, move on down the street

It's only people like us that we meet

 

A million miles ahead

 Hoopers ahead, a whole world behind

I'm telling you girl, I feel fine

Shooting fish in the barrel with a wooden leg

I've got miles ahead and left a whole world behind

There ain't no use in worrying today

There's no use scraping the bottom of the barrel

If you want to make an omelette you've gotta break some eggs

Got a million miles ahead and left a whole world behind

I left a whole world behind boys, a whole darn world behind

going to try to build a better world tomorrow

you know it's written on my bed, you can sleep when you're dead

Don't get too hung up on all your sorrow

And even if you steal, beg or borrow

You've still got a million miles ahead, left a whole world behind

And you can build a better world tomorrow

Hooper road

 Hooper road around the bend

Down through the middle and back again

Don’t call for a doctor when what you need is a friend

These kind of things they never end

 

Up to the corner and about the block

Double barrel shot gun was a shock

When it went off it was half-cocked

Hooper and cooper stood like a rock

 

Barrels of gun powder, barrels of wine

I’ve had a barrel of laughs and now I feel fine

It’s just a pleasure it was under the pine

When he threw hoop over the line

 

Barrels of whisky, barrels of port

Barrels of anything, be a good sport

There’s a bottle neck jammed

And a leaky tap to report

Hooper will find time to mend all sorts

 

Hooper road, hooper bend

Everyone laughs up til the end

The bottom of the barrel

Is always a good friend

So take what you’re given

And let’s make an end.