Stop wearing my heart on your sleeve

 If we can make it through to Christmas

Then

Maybe it won't be half so bad

If we make it through to Christmas

I will laugh and shake hands with your dad

My heart was on the table

In the heart transplant

I really thought him able

But the surgeon said "I can't"

"I can't do it, Frank!" 

"This isn't what I was meant to do

Now I'm starting to cry"

Go on and pass me a tissue

I said to him look here Steve, just try!

This is your job

Just try to be a professional

Get back in the Zone

And make whole the decimal

He said, no I won't, I'm leaving

Now that's what I'm going to do

But I cried you can't leave

Why not, you can't stop me!

Well you're wearing my heart on your sleeve

Oh at least donate to me your kidney

Or play me the smallest violin

You must surely be kidding me?

But Steve said I'm maudlin

I said Steve, I don't care if you're Admiral Nelson

Or Napoleon with one arm

You can't leave the operating theatre

With my heart, you could do me harm

Come right back in here this instant

And put it back where it's meant to be

Attached by the left ventricle

And by the pulmonary artery, is that clear

But Steve did come back and he attached it,

But his head wasn't thinking straight

For he attached on end to my nose

And I've had more nose bleeds of late

Then he tried the right ear

And oh I filled up with blood

It wasn't that I was seeing red,

but that auditory canal did flood

Finally I said Steve

Put my heart back where it's meant to be