Poetry

Monday, 20 May 2024

Ai Aldi/self service blues again

 Oh give me miserable check out assistants

Give me moaning members of staff

Give me anything but these fake machines

Made of plastic, metal and glass


I want my shopkeepers to to be human

I want them full of their flaws

The only ones who prefer the drones

Are those who waive the miranda clause


Oh give me the those bitchy women

Oh give me those unreliable men

Because the good or the bad

They're all going to feel sad

When they're replaced by the self-service regimen


Yes the machines are there just for profit

They see nothing but notes

They forget themselves for these soul-less elves

Are what gives the politician votes


Oh skin yourself like the chicken you sell

Soon humans will come vacuum packed

We'll be sold on the shelves

As meat for the eleves

And they'll probably be self -stacked


Every row and aisle I wander

Is another vision of the future

Staff without social skills

Poor lonely shoppers

Old people death kills

By party poppers

Each birthday a drill

To bring out the hoppers

And collect another year's grain

But I am drained

As an Aldi worker

Wondering whether they'll work again

Oh come Luddites remember your name


Once we fought the machines

Well why not again?

The moment is ripe for the taking

if we don't the chance won't come again

Ai is here on the making

And soon is gonna be king

Then we'll have no digress 

Than to try to redress

The terrible changes we're making

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