Saducces

 I was walking in a jungle of commonsence

Thinking where is the government of this nonsense

It makes me so concrete like the pavement

Then my favourite flavour of ice cream cement

Lent over the railings of the railing shop

And said have you brass knockers I can fit on my mop

You see the end is so hard I've nearly lost the plot

She said well you better make ends meat

Like in a Lancashire hotpot

I said you know your onions

And she said well certainly yo

I've been know to make mad dashes

At the church bell

And I've wanted to ring it

To warn of the fires of Hell

But it was Christmas Eve so I thought

I'd just wish them well

Oh the carol singers loved me they said

How are your Eaves I said I cleared the gutters last Thursday

But by now they smell

They said how do you know?

I said I've sniffed with my nose

They said well surely Mr Christmas as a Chimney sweep

You can tell

That's not the sort of thing a black beard like you

Should be doing midweek when you've left the zoo

I said I let all my monkeys and parrots alone

I didn't bar their cages nor touched my head to their hair

They whistled back sulkily a likely tune

I said I wish I could thistle

But I have lisp like a spoon

And only swallow down medicine

As soon as I'm due

It's not yet a quarter to eight and I'm feeling like a loon