He took the hoover
The cupboard door
He took the watering can, the bucket
And the bucket list
He took the hose pipe
The drain pipe
And the chipped mantlepiece
He took the inglenook fire place
The stoker, the poker
The dust pan and brush
He took the oil lamp
The rising damp in the skirting board
The wall paper, the curtain draper
And the curtain rings and poles
He took the carpet, the plaster board,
The coat hangers and stand
The cupboard the closet and the wardrobe
He took everything but the kitchen sink
He took the sofa,
The armchair, the pouf and futon
The cushions and pillows
And the bath matt
He even took a seat, when I offered him the chair
But it was my bed that he made
And he lay in it
He took the bidet the toilet
He even took the piss
He took the hot tap, the cold tap
He even stole a kiss
He took everything but the Kitchen sink
He took the garage door
The front door
The back door and porch
He took the launch
It took him ages, it took him minutes
But it was gone in the blink of the eye
He took the china from cabinet
He even took the bull by the horns
He took this, he took that
He took the mickey and the piece of cake
He really took the biscuit
But I asked him to leave it
He took everything but the Kitchen sink
He took the lounge room, the landing
He took the picture frames from the wall
He left the pictures there hanging
Because he didn’t like them much at all
He took the dog, he took the cat
He took the cat flap and kennel
He took the back yard, the front yard
The rose bushes and rails
He took the picket fence
And he took offense
When I threw the post at him
Well he deserved just what he got
He even took the holes in the wall
He took everything but the kitchen sink
He left me that at least
Where I can sit and think
In peace now he’s gone
