Octopodimore roundabout

 Octopodimore roundabout

Is just about what an Octopus shouts

When he thinks it is too busy on the roads

While he is eating Spaghetti

While talking to a toad

And this kind of activity can be a dangerous thing

Especially if the toad begins to sing

Because like Pavarotti he loves to sing of things

That get his gilgotti and make his microwave ping

So he replies it's like Spaghetti junction round here

And then a Baloney Sandwich suddenly appears

And says Bologna, Bologna, well what'd I hear?!

Stop talking Baloney, you know there's nobody near

And he don't count - hey keep your hands on the wheel!

Mr Octopody you're making me feel kind of queer

Well I can't blame you, said the toad

I'm always telling him to keep his eyes on the road

Eyes on the road? Which eye may I ask yer, asked the spider

Which ever one you can, answered the eight legged outsider

Hey man, why are ya trying to push in here?

Can't you see there's plenty of room for the four of us?!

No five, cried the Beer, well would you look at the head on that said the toad

Then the Octopus started sipping it, the sandwich said "Mind the road!"

Don't drink and drive cried the beer, I've too much to live for cried the spider in fear

So now you're afraid of a little alcohol, hey man I'm no light weight I just want to keep my head clear

Well its too late for that said the heavyweight boxer, I'm finishing my dinner plate

Then I'm driving to Uttoxeter, you can't be serious Said the Octopus

Yes I am now my gloves are off, I'm not pulling any punches

Hang a left here said the toad with a moan,

No take a right, said the beer in barotone

"Well I thought I was the only one with a voice so deep!"

"Be quiet everyone the Octopus is asleep"

At the wheel! cried Baloney, well it makes me feel lonely

Boy said the Beer I must stronger than I knew

The heavyweight said who do you think you're talking to!

Then he started a fight in the back, but before it got bad

The car had gone off track onto the hard shoulder

Where chips flew off the block

And they came to a stop

Would you like fish with that?

Asked the little chief,

And then the line, like the front tyre, went flat

What have we all become?

I see in your face the lines I can trace

Back to where we used to run

Through fields and streams in our childhood dreams

Oh what have we all become? 

What have we all become?

You knock on my door, but its not like before

Too many years have past under the sun

Oh what have we all become?

We keep ourselves, like books on the shelves

Some change, fade to dust and some survive,

But strange how time aids and still keeps alive

These things in us that remind of someone

What have we all become?

And it just doesn't seem real, all these things that I feel

They just seem like melodies that are yet to be sung

What have we all become?

All the faces I've seen, show all the things that have been

But darling we've hardly begun

Yet what have we all become?

There are roads that cross in the desert, and tracks that meet in between

And paths we have taken, though some are forsaken

And some are rivers yet to be swum

So what have we all become?

I cross my arms and I wonder, I ponder on those misty things

They come in frightening thunder, they strike like lightning stings

As in my mind all their images hung

What have we all become?

I hold out my palms to catch a falling drop, 

And water is like a balm, that makes the pain stop

But the thought still remains when it's gone

What have we all become?

Trying to move

 I tried to move you through the Meer

I tried to love you, that much is clear

But did I tug too hard at your ear

Or did I lug around my baggage of fear

Who is in control, is it me or is it it?

I see the magpie and the cuckoo spit

But who is calling the crow to quit

Is it why I forgo all kinds of shit

I paid my penalty, I paid my price

So why still the enemy lives in paradise

I bought my ticket, I didn't ask twice

Yet still you'd give me plenty of your ice

What is there that I forgot to tie

Was it your cross I bear or mine

Do you sing where the leaves dry

Or stop and bear the tears I cry

I have been where you are sitting

There were many reasons for my quitting

But they all stem out of a fear of committing

And it is clear it's the atom I'm splitting

It will explode in my hands as a bomb

It will unfold like the sands I comb

It will turn up in the sea shoal tombes

That are read by all the fish headed blondes

And I am leaning into their wake

From the ship of all my mistakes

But I am yet to climb aboard

Oh what is life about my lord? 

Four Years

 Well you know four years in a lifetime

Is not so long

When you’re a child your heart and legs are strong

And then you grow older

And you do school too

You know four years in a lifetime

Is just something you do

 

Four years in a love life

Is like writing a book

Its full of highs and lows

And you become easily hooked

And some days it gets so bad

You just can’t let go

Four years in a love life

Is still just something you do

 

Four years for a swallow as everyone knows

Is from the summer haze to the winter throes

And they sleep on the wing, and they follow rainbows

Four years for a swallow, time flies just so

 

Well four years for a beggar, will beggar belief

For the places he sleeps on edge of the streets

And on top of park benches, or under shop windows

Fours years for a beggar is like trying on clothes

 

Four years for a thief doing hard time

Is like stealing his soul, behind steel bars that bind

But if you steal a heart then you ought to know

Four years apart, is four years left behind

 

Four years for a king, when shadows climb his walls

Fours years of silence, when dark times befall

And his castle becomes dreary, and his heart suffers no fools

Four years for a king is like a trouble that calls

 

Four years for me, is not four years for you

Four years for a crow, is not four but two

For she flies ever straight just like an arrow

While time like a river meanders below

 

And if I were you, then my four would be two

And if you were I then my two would soon go

Down into nothing, when the sweet wind blows

Four years is a nothing for the flowers of the meadow

A Telling Time

 I've been out the back of the wrongside of tomorrow

And I've gotten back what I beg, steal or borrow

And although I might lack the eyes to see through sorrow

When my tears dry, where they lead I must follow

And nature cried in the heartland of the sun

The creator tried to bury what he had begun

But bring forth Mary, bring back Jesus the son

And all of those quarries of moon rock by the ton

They fill up my stocking, they go knocking at my door

They slide down the bannister, of the memories of before

And pull open the cannister, the rocket ship that endures

Through space I'm now the traveller to a love I adore

I see her in the gardens, in the pearly realms

Where queens walk in the park under the boughs of Elms

And who knew their shoulder sparks would hold tight the helm

As the nation's ship goes sailing, though darkness overwhelms

She is my Captain, I am her slave

And as we go sailing through disaster, I try to master each wave

But if someone throws me a lifeline, I know it's myself I must save

And in the process rescue all my hopes and dreams from the grave

Three blind mice

 It was blindingly obvious,

But I didn't have a blind thing to do

I didn't have the first idea, not muddied nor clear

I didn't have a pot to piss in

Or a cross to bear

But I had you in my horizons

And I will plot a course there

It was like the blind leading the blind

Down a blind alley trying to find

Their blind spot, caught on the trot

With a pig's hoof and blind to the truth

The proof was in the pudding

Of the third eye and when I swallowed it down

I saw I was a spy, who had been taken over

By a consortium of lies

About the epoch and blind-sightedness

That covers up our eyes

And no I can't look the truth in the face

Who ever could stare direct at our race

And say yes I love this or no I hate that

Whether we are compared to a pig, or compared to a cat

We are animals in the frame just the same

Except Darwin could never remember his name

And Hamlet made such otherwordly claims

That for his weakness to be blindness, was enough to shoulder his blame

And Oedipus rex he couldn't complain

Of the virtue of truth telling

The blind and the lame

The good and the bad and down right mad

Who married his mother and murdered his dad

A Brief Encounter

 I saw this pair of Y-fronts talking to a pair of frilly knickers in a railway station café

I thought it was strange, then the mist cleared and I could see

The set had rearranged

Now the Frilly knickers was giving the Y-fronts a wave

Must you go Frilly knickers?

I'm afraid I really must...you see your Y-fronts and my Frilly knickers

They really can't touch, there is...just...too much at stake.

You are married then? To another pair of Y-fronts?

Yes darling, but of course and so must you be too..to another pair of Frilly knickers?

I'm afraid that is the truth, sad but true, she is shopping as we speak I expect

in Miss Selfridges for a pair of bloomers

Bloomers, Gosh!

Yes, don't I know it.

And do you have children also?

I do...oh but my dearest Frilly knickers what we have is so special

Surely we mustn't let our chance slip away?

You must let me go Y fronts. What we have had was wonderful, but I must get on this train

Last train to Goring Streetly, about to depart.

My darling I shall never forget you

You will always be close to my heart Y-fronts

And I shall also keep the memory of your face, Frilly Knickers, close to my Y-fronts

As she boarded the train

I thought what are the chances?

I must have walked in on a remake of 

That scene from A Brief Encounter