I kissed an English cricket
Oh it had such long legs
It folded them beneath itself
And sat up straight to beg
Leg before wicket said the umpire
Not so said I
I couldn't get my leg over
And the over just flew right by
I tried to bat it away
But it came back all hammer and tongs
Trying to play its grass fiddle play
It was all violins and Ned Sheeran songs
But at least I wasn't caught out
Playing away from home
Yes I kissed an English cricket
In the grounds of Frome
You see, it said, I've got my ears to the ground
That's how it reeled me in
It said I think we're on the same frequency Pip-squeak
and Hey I've heard you sing
I said, how come? What you just hang about
Late at night waiting for your prey like some kind of freak?
No, I said, you give yourself away
everytime that you speak
Well cricket bat, cricket bat riddle me this
Why did the cricket play its fiddle then kiss?
The bat was swung both ways in the sky
Before the ball had dropped while we were young and high
But what goes up must come down
And now I see batman that I've stolen your crown
I'm a fielder
I'm in the long grass
I'm mixing up my metaphors
Gone for a duck not a pass
It's the beautiful
No, it's a game of two halves
No, it's just long and drawn out
With boredom and laughs
And many beers are consumed
And it's easy to miss
When a bat and a cricket
at dusk share kiss
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