Adamantine

 Adamantine, a material that makes you more like Adam Ant everyday

Zombie Farmer's Market

 I'm at the Zombie farmers market

And they're all selling pickled brains

Brains in glasses darkened

Like looking down a darkened lane

Gherkins of amygdalas

Wishbone corpus callosums

Thin films of the meninges

Hanging like dried vellum

All the riddled, addled roots

All the winding passages

All the folds so manifold

Look like pale moon sausages

Oh so mouth watering

Such victual prospects make them slaver

And along the saliva soaked pavements

The Zombie Farmers gather

Ooh Ahh and lookie 'ere

And I'll 'ave ee one of 'ee pickled brain chutneys

Give me a swallow of a skull not hollow

I'll drink down the fluids, bloods and the discharge

It all looks so horrid, yellow green spew rancid

Butter wouldn't melt in their throat if they had one

But what surprises me most is how restrained they all are

That's how you know they were or are the landed gentry

It's all in the breeding you see

This Zombie life is Country Life magazine

With one shotgun slung

Nonchalantly over an arm

And a bloodhound at his knee

A beagle at baye, bugler in the hay

And the Irony is the Zombie Farmers

They don't even look grey

A bit wet round the gills maybe

Some a bit yellow say

Jaundiced probably lacking in Iron

Some of them missing a liver

But The Lord gives and he takes away they say

Any way He does on Zombie Farmer's Market day

Zombie farmers

 Zombie farmers, zombie farmers

Come down from your fields

The tractors are ploughing

And you must make your meals

Zombie farmers, zombie farmers

What is it you sell? 

Is it brains in glass jars

Or is it visions of hell? 

I can see you at the market

Zombie farmers of Wells

Oh you would think they could park it

But your range Rover smells

Of all the brains you've been growing

In your poly tunnels

Well if you come to shepton mallet

You'll find our brains ring like bells

Inside of our heads

Where the spring flowers grow

And we all eat your crops

Though it gives us food for thought

You know

If you ever want my brain

I don't use it a bunch

You can borrow it this weekend

If you invite me for lunch

A pirate's holiday

 I met a pirate upon a river cruise

He was on a Pirate's holiday

I said are you a planning

On some marauding

Or hoarding the gold in the bay?

He said no I'm not a viking

I just wish for a canal boat

And a peaceful stay

So as I walked along the tow path

I saw this pirate sipping cups of tea

What sort of pirate

I thought to myself

Must this pirate be?

He was relaxing and taking it easy 

Away from the hard life at sea

Where he'd been drinking rum

And stealing gum

Upon the Merciless Albatross Dizzy

He said my life is real taxing

And I should be relaxing me

Ironically I don't believe in tax axing

Because my tax is between the devil 

and the deep blue sea

Oh how I wish I were a busman

And not a pirate so free

For then when I needed a holiday

I'd just drive my buses and let it be

If this is love

 If this is love

Then why can't I feel it

If this is love

It's singing in its chains

If this is love then you can steal it

And you can leave me

To stand out in the rains

I have loved you like a marching army

Loves the ideology

Of the woman in the frame

I have loved you like

a restless railroad

Loves the hum of the rolling trains

And if you love me

Then hold me like a ghost

Let me pass through you

Like all my dreams down the drain

Oh if you love me

Then just let me hold you

And I will promise 

never to leave you again

The wasting of the waves

 The wasting of the waves

Oh the wasting of the waves

Oh it continues,in its motion

It continues until you're in the grave

The wasting of the waves

Oh the wasting of the waves

Oh can you give me a single reason

For this energy we have to save

And it comes and goes like the season

It's the wasting of the waves

You need courage

And you need timing

And you need them in great spades

And if not them then you need rhyming

To save the wasting of the waves

The wasting of the waves

Oh the wasting of the waves

Sea Shall I, Sea Shan't I

 shall I shan't I, Shall I shan't I

Shall I go to sea

Well a blue moon's in the 

Horizon risin

And I need a cup of tea

Shall I shan't I , Shall I, shan't I 

Shall I go to sea?

The Ghost ship's in the quarters sizing

And I can't see the Sea

The skeletons are dancing

The sails move

When nobody's there

The whole

Ship

Seems to go along

Like the Marie Celeste without a care

Shall I, shan't I

Shall I shan't I

Shall I go to sea

I wish you all the luck in the world

But I'm a landlubber, me

Shall I go to the shallows

Shall I dig the deep

If I travel to the shallows

Not soundly shall I sleep

If I travel to dark depths

The night may take my soul

Then shoulds and shants

Shalls and shoals 

Shall surely swallow me whole

The flooded boat

 We shipped it out of Market Quay

In the year of 63

Looking for the catch to lea

The swathes of herring in the sea

We cast our nets and dragged about

Oh and then the first mate did shout

Haul in boys we've hooked a trout

A river fish with a massive snout

But surely this must be a fish king 

For as we hauled him in the thing

Began to thrash and we could see

This river fish belonged in the sea

It was six feet wide in it's girth

And it took six men to hold it's berth

All upon the deck of wood

But this fish crashed through where we stood

And into the hull it went a heaving

Down below where believers were believing

Nothing so big could be landed at sea

Let alone a river trout with a double D

When down on the lower deck where tallow candles burnt

It was in their light that it was not a trout but a mermaid we learnt

And She was huge and heavy and really broke the scales

We knew if we brought her home alive then we'd make so many sales

She was though heavier than Archimedes in the bath

And the hole in the deck she'd made was no cause to laugh

As just then a giant wave came crashing from above 

And filled the hull with sea water and the boat did flood

Oh please don't flood our boat, we pleaded to the mermaid

But she just screamed like a siren and brushed her seaweed braids

But soon she gave us the boot and slipped out through the hole

And yet our boat was flooded and we sang out save our souls

So just remember when you're fishing never land a river trout

For what you think is a fish can be a turnabout

And if she is a mermaid it's best to let her be

At least there's always plenty more fish in the sea

To kill a monster

 What does it take to kill a monster

Can you bear what he is

What he's done to countless victims

Does the victim make him him?

Is he a monster incarnate

regardless of what he has done?

How do we judge a monster

is it only on what he has done?

Or is it on his intent

And therefore sympathy presses in

What if he he never would do

What we believed of him

It is future justice

Or is it past remorse

For things he says he regrets, and yet

He still will endorse

He should be locked up

I shouldn't be drinking with him

For what is it that he really regrets

A life without sin?

What will it take me to kill?

As an individual?

And yet what will it take for 

Justice to deal out

What is right and legal?

Is it what we thought

Is it what is right?

Is it just a string of noughts

On an accountant's dark night?

I'd like to think that a life

Is worth more than a sear

I'd like to think that

I've given my heart to a bear

For what it is that lasts is

The ones what are willing to be cruel

What we know is there are

Those ruthless individuals

But they are few and far between

And yet they make up the scene

Press-ganged

 Oh I once had a dream I was going to sea

But all was not as it seemed this dream within me

The sea took my dream and it watered it down

That's how come I'm singing shanties in shepton town

In Shepton town where the sheep are like ships

And the clouds above us are like carnival skips

Where there's cider in the river and cheese in the rocks

And you may get paid in cheddar or in dandelion clocks

Oh yes we have bullies and boys by the bucket

And then there's their parents who have said just fuck it

Because they roam the town like pirates marauding and taking

What other good folk have spent their free hours making

But don't ask for clew garnets, no point in crime stoppers

the police do buggerall they might as well pull party poppers

because it's all in the rigging, yes everything is rigged

like in the last election how the puppets danced and jigged

So find me a ship boys and sign me up

I've been press-ganged before and drank from the cup

If you bring the rum, then I'll bring the beer

We'll sing the sea shanties down on the Darshill pier

the sociopath's society ball

 At the sociopath's society ball

Oh it's not easy to get invited

But when you do

Everyone knows everyone

I joined the sociopath's society

 And they are all just like me

manipulating, calculating

And they'll invite you round for tea

Come on down, the price is right

We're all having a ball tonight

Make your life like a knife

And cut and kill

And maul

All for free down at the sociopath's society ball

I wanted to join but I thought I'd look a fool

No you can't be a sociopath with that attitude like that all

You got to step out on the debutant's trawl

And land a catfish and bring home your haul

It's all going on

Down at the sociopath's Society ball

You can see kings and politician's stand tall

You can meet floozies and old witches in shawls

You can meet young ones who try to enthrall

You in on their charms

So long as the value is high

They'll welcome you with open arms

And the stakes are all

In the lap of the Gods 

Or the dice that fly

It's no gambling for the sociopath

It's a well thought out move

Calculated maximum devastation

Of those poor entrapped fools

Like a snare is his brain

The comedian

The laughter like a drug

That soothes 

The autistic mind ratchets

Through applause

Not feeling

The reeling

Not knowing at all

But it's all allowable

At the sociopath's society ball

Cholera Hospital

 Empty windows like a mouth agape

A vaccinated vacuum

Glassless pane

The dry taste in the mouth

Bitter medicine for Cholera victims

Is the bitterness of regret

It is the house of sadness

Not easy to forget

 

Elder bushes and nettles grow

Without its walls

Through its doors

The rain runs

Leaching into cracks in the floor

Few roof tiles remain of its once proud mantel

Chimney stacks and triangular wall ends

Sand like pyramids and statues

The relics of a mighty, bygone empire

Only Flat Holm will recover all in time

This hill in the sea sings its reclamation rhyme

When one thing begins

 I came on the wind

And I left on the tide

Well when one thing begins

It means another has died

And it's all without sin

Well except when I've lied

To get in to bed with another man's bride

And the good things hinge

On the bad one's pride

And you may get singed

If you play by the fireside

Well when one thing begins

It means another has died

And I might say that I love you

After you have cried

Just like I can mould a clay pot

But not after it's dried

For when it's made hot

It burns a hole in my side

But when one thing begins

It means another has died

Lord Randall

 I met Lord Randall out in the steel cold

He had a mind that did feel

And a leather hold

Slung around his neck

Like an albatross of gold

Oh I met Lord Randall out in the blue cold

Where have you wandered?

And what have you seen?

While you've been a sailor

On the sea of green

Oh I been a whaler

Around the Philippines

But I never saw your brother

No I never saw my mother

No I never saw my brother

Upon the sea of green

Oh how far have you sailed Lord Randall my son?

I've sailed across the ocean to the land of the rising sun

And I've done the gun running, I've been a hired gun

Just hold on to your hats while the whirlwind comes

There's a length of twisted flax

She has tied in her hair

Oh lord Randall have you seen

My lover, for was my bride out there?

But I lost her early for I had to sea fare

And it's a trouble, It's a trouble

For the double, march on the double

Have you ever seen my lover in a bubble out there?

I never saw your lover, only mirrors and shadows

Only smoke screens and ghosts in liminal scenes

Where it all was changing slowly like in a dream

But I never held another who was your lover

No I never held your lover on the sea of green

Lord Randall if you're lying

Then I'll kill you down dead

And you will be lying on your deathbed

But if you are Lord True and not Lord False to me

Then I'll still send home your letter in the arms of the sea

Yes, I'll write home your letter from the arms of the sea

Popeye's song

 This is spinach, this is spinach baby

Spinach, this is spinach baby

Everything is gonna be alright

Cause this is Spinach Baby tonight

Speak in Spanish to me baby

Speak me spinach in my sandwich maybe

I'll send you spinning crazy lady

This is Spinach baby tonight

Toss the salad, throw in an egg

I quack like a Mallard, but baby you said

Your olive oil's sleek like Ciabatta bread

Speak to me spinach tonight 

Safeguarding

 I went for a job in safeguarding

I didn't expect to be positioned in a bank

One day these bank robbers came in

And said they wanted to withdraw

All the money without paying

I said it was against safeguarding regulations

And they got very irate

But they got the message eventually

So I felt like the rules are really working well

Then they came back in the bank and asked if I'd like to do some safeguarding for them, as they felt they needed my expertise. They said they'd pay me more, but I could keep safeguarding the same safe, if I just brought it with so I did. I got into the back of the van and they were very considerate carrying the safe for me. 

Laptop cable

 And low Abraham gave his laptop cable to Isaac

And Isaac lent it to Jakob

And Jakob, took it up the ladder

But it wasn't long enough to reach heaven

And Cain and Abel

Had a fight over a laptop cable

Because Abel wouldn't give it back

Cain stabbed him in the back

All over a laptop

In the lap of the Gods

The laptop cable  worked

Powered by Zeus'

Lightning generator

But up in mount olympus

There is very poor wifi signal

So they don't really know what's going on

You and me

 I don't see purple trees

I don't hear calvary

Nor the bells of the shells

Singing in the sea

I don't hear talismen's keys

Jangle in the frieze

And more than that

But nothing flat

I don't see you and me

I don't hear caravans

No see those family plans

Of holidays in holy blaze

I don't see you and me

Oh we were once an item

But we soon got sold

From off the shelves of our selves

in exchange for gold

I don't see ruby shoes

Dancing away the blues

But What is neat, is the sweet

I don't see you and me

Long time ago In the rockerie

 I remember then so long ago

Long time ago

In the rockerie

The rain did come

And the rain did go

Long time ago

In the rockerie

The thyme smelt strong

With the Rosemary

Long time ago

In the rockerie

Our love belonged like

A rock to the sea

Long time ago

In the rockerie

Now in this song

We can live free

It was a

Long time ago

In the rockerie

Cheese grater

 Cheese grater

They've gotta make yer

Creator of the alligator

Simple Susan

Held the dustpan

On the horizon of

The rising sun and

I loved you

Like a curfew

Like a soldier overdue

His leave

On a summer holiday

But cheese grater

I wish you'd stayed

Lift me up

In the hill of science

raise the temperature

On my conscience

It's too cold for caring

What I do to another

Because right or wrong

He is not my brother

Just another man

With a thorn in his side

Just a place for the living

Who have already died

But I'm tired of waiting

For the bus to come in

That will take me forever away

From sin

It is an illusion

Of a broken heart to think

This is a delusion

Of a kind of art

Take your money back

And your soul

Because what You lack

Is self control

Puppet maker

And King carole

I'm a world shaker

You're breaking parole

Cheese grater

Cheese grater

Go back to blue

 There's only one thing that I can do

Only one thing except go back to you

Well, well I'm going back to blue

There's only one song I can sing

And if you sing a along

Maybe we'll wing it through

But still I'm going back to blue

There's only one hole in my plan

There's only one hole bar none man

And if you think you're coming through

I can tell you, I'm going back to blue

I tried it black

I tried it white

I tried it bruised in a fight

But day or night

Wrong or right

I'm almost through

I'm going back to blue

Blue like the ocean

And blue as the devil's tongue

Talking strong emotion

When the fight is on

But I can call the shots on you

I can shoot the lightning bolts

Can you hear the thunder vaults too?

Well I'm going back to blue

Stolen balls

 They came and stole my balls

A space man took them away

Steel balls they were 

And balls made out of clay

I'm trying to get them back

Trying hard every day

I hope them aliens drop my balls off

Because I would like to play

un forme du poire

encore de fois

Happy Bloody Valentine's Day

 Roses are red

and so is bloody slaughter

In the sea my nose bled

There I found blood was thicker than water

Tinkering on the edge

 I shall hear no more that barking sound

That regular Bark Ode

Of Tinker, whose chimes like

Bells in Church tolled down the road

Every time a child walked passed

On his way to school

Or at an unsuspecting walker

Who walked too close to his window, the fool!

Well no more shall I see his face

Grinning back at me

Dark and imposing

Some inner ferocity

Like an Egyptian God

Dog headed deity

Standing out of his sarcophagus

Oh Mummy! I need a wee!

But  he really is charming

Yes, what a merry soul is he!

Cola black, soul black

Darkness found a light

In the bright-eyed Becky

A star of fairy night

Sparkling like a sparkler

Fluffy, buoyant woman

Exuberant, enthusiastic

Bubbly and fun

And so they were together

And Tinker was no longer glum

He and her together

All was right under the sun

Find shoe box by the sea

Let the sea dogs howl

On the island of the canary

Where the kissing winds are foul

But dunes in June are wonderful

Fundamental abundiflora all

And Just look to the summer wall

Of heat and sun

Let's not think of winter

Let's not contemplate the fall

Adam and his apple

are far from it all

He's now got his mother

She's got her baby back

And all the seaweed in the sea

Could never re-shuffle her pack 

Ai killed the man in me

 Ai killed Riki Lake

And Montel Williams

Ai killed the king

And it killed my girlfriend

Ai killed everything

Ai even killed me, her me sing

Has Ai killed everything?

Ai's killed the man in me

Ai killed the woman too

Killed the unborn baby

Ai killed the child, their childhood

Free from maybe

No more dreams, only facts

Only possibilities of brass tacks

Realities so virtual, yet outside of my control

Ai has killed the man in me

Ai's robbed me of my soul

No I don't want to get dramatic

I don't want to sound too drole

Because if you know the algorithm

I'm sure it would return what it stole

But once a candle is blown out

It's hard to see in the dark

And this wind of change is blowing without a spark

Are ideas of consciousness even weighed in the scales

Or is all that's on the mind of governments how to make big sales? 

What if I told you of the Tolpuddle Martyrs

Or the weavers

Or the Luddites

Who trashed the loom machines

That took their jobs

And kicked them out on the street

In a heartless modernization?

What if progress is no friend to 

National spirit or culture or tradition?

What if we sell our souls

At the price of bottom dollar

Just to satisfy big business mission?

Who ever asked me if I want

my child brought up by a robot army

And not a real human being?

Ai's killed everything

And no one even asked me!

Ai killed the man in me

And replaced me with a robot

If they had asked us first, like with GM foods

Where there was moratorium

Maybe we would pause for thought, 

a measure of public mood

But as it is the ai has done the thinking 

For us, it's told its creator it needs this

It was such a dazzling temptation

An end to all working

No more enslavement

But I still see beggars on the pavement

While Ai's running the government

Ai has killed everything

Ai's killed the man in me

Give me trees, and flowers and nature

Give me a sky and some distance

I need to move my body

And be breathing

Far from these satanic mills

Of mind training

Ai will try to kill everything!

Ai will try to kill the human in you

If you don't watch what it's doing

So maybe we shut just switch off

Let's turn off the machines

And take a walk back in the world

And rediscover what is green

Little prick of love

 Oh little prick of love

I can feel yer

Oh little prick of love

It's nice to meet yer

I've got a little prick of love

And it's trying to greet yer

Oh you don't like injections

And you're afraid of blood

Well this is divine intervention

My little prick of love

It'll only hurt a little

And yes it will bleed

But  just like a needle

It is going to succeed

At combating your love sickness

You know you suffer a disease

You can't love another

Without starting to seize

So let me give you

My little injection

I'm just like a doctor

You need examination

And it could add years to your life

Or it could set you free

My little prick of love

Is a lost ship at sea

If I were a snail

It would be minute

So just think you're lucky

And don't get cute

If you want to get ahead

You know you have to push

And my little prick of love

Is like a thorn on a sloe bush

Sometimes the sloe gin

comes so thick it's a sin

Sometimes the bush is so hard to get in

But with a little back and forth

A little pull and shove

That's how you'll feel my

Little prick of love

Oh don't come bustin' me down

You know I don't have the time

I'm from the wrong side of town

But we've both drunk the same wine

And the rose bush is a thicket

And I don't where to stick it

But if you stick it to me love

I'll stick it to you too

Still I don't know what to do

About this little prick of love

Oh little prick of love

I can feel it

Little prick of love

Can you feel it?

Little prick of love

Try to reel it in

But it's like a fishhook in my mouth

Everytime I sing

Pullin me in

To your land of love

Lord you can try and swim away

But it'll catch you up one day

This little fisher king

With his cloak of coloured wing

With his blue bolt of sin

His beak's a little prick of love

Little prick of love

Can you feel it

little prick of love

that should seal it

little prick of love

how to deal with it

little prick of love

 you can peel it

All I'm thinking of

Is that little prick of love

Love said to blood

 Love said to blood 

What have you to fear

Blood said to love

My family, my dear

Many generations

All with the same idea

Flow in one direction

to the ocean of tears

Love then said to blood

But blood is thicker than water

You should forgive

Your son and your daughter

For following their own course

Through uncharted quarters

Of a city shining like a penny

Blood was a family of noble stock

And love was the irrational knock

That came like a shock in a desert of grey