Troy town

 I used to be a policeman

but then didn't like it, didn't it

didn't didn't it

If were a policeman I would bang you

to rights

You have got so many vices

And it isn't nice

Come you must rearrange how you treat

The strangers

In your town

You bring me down

I didn't like, didn't like

Didn't like it

Don't you know that we're all the same

You call us by a different name

So treat us like the other

We could be your long lost brother

I don't think you have read that much

Never heard of Ulysses and such

Well there was once a place named Troy

And they spoiled the life of a little boy

He was just an innocent shepherd

Until he thought he'd be something better

The bright city lights

Changed his mind over night

And I didn't like it, didn't like it,

didn't like it

He fell in love with girl named Helen

He thought he could take her

And they'd be in heaven

So he tricked the palace by being their friends

But they never knew he wouldn't make amends

Helen was the girl next door

But he was rich and she wasn't poor

He stole her from Menelaus

Who got angry said Paris would pay us

Then he got Agamemnon involved

And it all went to hell in a hand cart I'm told

And they didn't like it, didn't like it, didn't like it

So next time you refuse a stranger a hand

Just remember what happened in that ancient land

The Greeks got pissed and they destroyed Troy

Well with a little help from Odysseus' toy

A little gift horse they looked in the mouth

Turned out to be the whole world went south

And they didn't like it, didn't like it, didn't like it

So you want to accuse and to blame

a perfect stranger of what's never named

So you want to mock and defame

A guest who's come to your house, for shame

They didn't like it, didn't like it, and I feel the same

I didn't like it, didn't like it, didn't like it

And every time you try to slander my name

And put out a rumour that tries to declaim

I did something that I've never done

Well I don't like that and your time will come

Yes your time will come, your time will come

Too many heads

 Nanny state and nanny's arms

Bubble gum childish charms

No one holds responsibility

No one talks it through

Nanny goat, nono nono

Nanny the boats coming through

Given women undue power

 Their troubled terms

Of Trump tower

I was sitting direct to trump 

He was small and irrelevant

In the corner another overheard

And I thought it was Donald bird

There was a swimming pool

the fast lane it was full of fools

The slow lane too contained tools

The middle contained nuts and rules

You wake and realise the irrelevance

Of all these theories of equivalence

Power is in others' hands

until it's wrestled by he who stands

To take back control

From  the bourgeoise capital

The monkey and the monk

 Monkey: I'm a monkey

Monk: And I’m a monk

Monkey: I've got a pocket full of junk

Monk: I’ve got a skeleton in the trunk

Monkey: And it smells like a skunk

 

Monkey: I am hunky

Monk: I’m not a hunk

Monkey: I am chunky

Monk: I’m a chunk

Monkey: I play the honky-tonk

Monk : Well, he’s a monkey not a monk

 

Both: We’re in a one-horse town

Both: We don't wanna let ourselves down

Monkey: He’s in a one-horse town

Monk: He keeps letting me down

Monk: Oh so won't you let me in?

Monkey: I don't wanna live without sin

 

Monkey: I'm a sinner

Monk: I’m a saint

Monkey: I'm painter who has to paint

Monkey: I'm gonna cater for you Cate

Monk: I'll see you later don't be late

 

Monkey: I am funky

Monk: I’m in a funk

Monkey: I'm not your a donkey

Monk: No, you’re my donk

Monkey: I'm wonky

Monk: And I’m a wonk

Monk: Well, he’s a monkey

Monkey: And he’s a monk

Monk not a monkey

 I'm a monk not a monkey

I'm in a funk, I'm not funky

My ship has sunk, I'm a song key

Singing out

I'm a monk not a monkey

I'm in six ton van

Gonna go uptown

I'm in a six ton van

Gonna drive uptown

So won't you turf me out

I'm gonna surf some trout

I'm a monk not a monkey

I'm a shonk not a shonkey

I'm a chunk not a chunky

I'm a monk not a monkey

I'm a saint not a sinner

I wanna lose weight and get thinner

So if you can strip my paint

I'm not looking for a taint

Leave me be at the pearly gate

I'm gonna meet Saint Peter who won't wait

The Demon Buzzard of the Marchy Moor

He will follow you tonight
Its no use closing your door
He will come tapping at your window
You're never safe
Always look over your shoulder

You might see a black shape circling in the sky
It might seem quite innocuous just a regular birdie fly

But look in your binocular, take a good look at his eye
He has a demon green sparkle in it, he knows you'll have to die

You might be out late one night returning home from the boozer
You might walk down the straight long road and be ready for a snoozer
You'll be wrong when hear his song, like a screeching upon high
Don't be long, you better run, because tonight might be your turn to die

Oh look over your shoulder, look back you better beware
Just watch out for that attack, never think that he's not there

But now he's got the taste for human meat,
Perhaps one night he robbed a baby from a pram
Unattended down the street
And now he knows the tender flesh crunching in his beak
He wants to take your head in his talons until you cannot speak

2020 visions

Well you married for money
Ah well you married for love
Well it matters not just what you've done
Because it's better than being alone

There are two worlds full of fire
And there's a land of the rising sun
Well it matters not who you desire
Unless you're the man who's holding the gun

Well I watched you in the window
That night when you should have gone home
Well who was that you were with babe
While you left me here all alone?
The dogs bark at midnight
The fireflies dance to the light
And blacks birds peck
At the wooden deck
In time to sea shanties songs

Life's just a dream that we all must
Live through alone but it's the fool
Who makes his world cooler
For the price that they put on his bones

Long Sutton Cricket club open Mic night -Silly point poetry

 Long Sutton, Long Sutton

You've treated us so kind

Though we may be legs of mutton

Our roads to you still wind

We all wish we were still lambs

You see for they are fair and kind

And yet the beat of iams

Still gives us our peace of mind

Your cricket team, they are a dream

But to me only a figment of my mind

For I always arrive at close of day

And the players having left I find

I wish one day to explore your moors

Oh amore a moor amore

Like those Romans of ancient times

Their feet walked on mosaic dimes

Each step a shining ducat or talent find

Like us pining to say fuck it valentine

They explored the world of gluttony

Using a feather to induce a vomit

Loved pleasure like Cleopatra and Anthony

Loved comedy as Wallace and Gromit

So not too different except for tragedy

They had a few mad despots

But let's not split hairs, ours not theirs

We've still got these open mic spots

So thank you Long Sutton Cricket club

For your haranguing and arranging

Now we've paid the ticket price for the night

The venue, hall rental and even more far ranging

Paid for the privilege of reading our rhymes 

in a space defined by performers

Just mind you keep well away from the crimes

Of pushing the boundaries of ex-reformers

For then like the Roman invaders who imposed

Their will upon the Britons

We hope our rhymes are better composed

And fill up the chairs we sit on