Lord Randall

 I met Lord Randall out in the steel cold

He had a mind that did feel

And a leather hold

Slung around his neck

Like an albatross of gold

Oh I met Lord Randall out in the blue cold

Where have you wandered?

And what have you seen?

While you've been a sailor

On the sea of green

Oh I been a whaler

Around the Philippines

But I never saw your brother

No I never saw my mother

No I never saw my brother

Upon the sea of green

Oh how far have you sailed Lord Randall my son?

I've sailed across the ocean to the land of the rising sun

And I've done the gun running, I've been a hired gun

Just hold on to your hats while the whirlwind comes

There's a length of twisted flax

She has tied in her hair

Oh lord Randall have you seen

My lover, for was my bride out there?

But I lost her early for I had to sea fare

And it's a trouble, It's a trouble

For the double, march on the double

Have you ever seen my lover in a bubble out there?

I never saw your lover, only mirrors and shadows

Only smoke screens and ghosts in liminal scenes

Where it all was changing slowly like in a dream

But I never held another who was your lover

No I never held your lover on the sea of green

Lord Randall if you're lying

Then I'll kill you down dead

And you will be lying on your deathbed

But if you are Lord True and not Lord False to me

Then I'll still send home your letter in the arms of the sea

Yes, I'll write home your letter from the arms of the sea

Popeye's song

 This is spinach, this is spinach baby

Spinach, this is spinach baby

Everything is gonna be alright

Cause this is Spinach Baby tonight

Speak in Spanish to me baby

Speak me spinach in my sandwich maybe

I'll send you spinning crazy lady

This is Spinach baby tonight

Toss the salad, throw in an egg

I quack like a Mallard, but baby you said

Your olive oil's sleek like Ciabatta bread

Speak to me spinach tonight 

Safeguarding

 I went for a job in safeguarding

I didn't expect to be positioned in a bank

One day these bank robbers came in

And said they wanted to withdraw

All the money without paying

I said it was against safeguarding regulations

And they got very irate

But they got the message eventually

So I felt like the rules are really working well

Then they came back in the bank and asked if I'd like to do some safeguarding for them, as they felt they needed my expertise. They said they'd pay me more, but I could keep safeguarding the same safe, if I just brought it with so I did. I got into the back of the van and they were very considerate carrying the safe for me. 

Laptop cable

 And low Abraham gave his laptop cable to Isaac

And Isaac lent it to Jakob

And Jakob, took it up the ladder

But it wasn't long enough to reach heaven

And Cain and Abel

Had a fight over a laptop cable

Because Abel wouldn't give it back

Cain stabbed him in the back

All over a laptop

In the lap of the Gods

The laptop cable  worked

Powered by Zeus'

Lightning generator

But up in mount olympus

There is very poor wifi signal

So they don't really know what's going on

You and me

 I don't see purple trees

I don't hear calvary

Nor the bells of the shells

Singing in the sea

I don't hear talismen's keys

Jangle in the frieze

And more than that

But nothing flat

I don't see you and me

I don't hear caravans

No see those family plans

Of holidays in holy blaze

I don't see you and me

Oh we were once an item

But we soon got sold

From off the shelves of our selves

in exchange for gold

I don't see ruby shoes

Dancing away the blues

But What is neat, is the sweet

I don't see you and me

Long time ago In the rockerie

 I remember then so long ago

Long time ago

In the rockerie

The rain did come

And the rain did go

Long time ago

In the rockerie

The thyme smelt strong

With the Rosemary

Long time ago

In the rockerie

Our love belonged like

A rock to the sea

Long time ago

In the rockerie

Now in this song

We can live free

It was a

Long time ago

In the rockerie

Cheese grater

 Cheese grater

They've gotta make yer

Creator of the alligator

Simple Susan

Held the dustpan

On the horizon of

The rising sun and

I loved you

Like a curfew

Like a soldier overdue

His leave

On a summer holiday

But cheese grater

I wish you'd stayed

Lift me up

In the hill of science

raise the temperature

On my conscience

It's too cold for caring

What I do to another

Because right or wrong

He is not my brother

Just another man

With a thorn in his side

Just a place for the living

Who have already died

But I'm tired of waiting

For the bus to come in

That will take me forever away

From sin

It is an illusion

Of a broken heart to think

This is a delusion

Of a kind of art

Take your money back

And your soul

Because what You lack

Is self control

Puppet maker

And King carole

I'm a world shaker

You're breaking parole

Cheese grater

Cheese grater