On The Edges

 It's on the edges of things you find out what's true

It's on the edges of things

Said the crow

You find out what you already know

Edges, and sedges and hedges

Those are places where the wind blew

On the edges of things

Life is free to happen

Out where things cross lines

And borders and countries

That's the reality

It's on the edges of things

Where the dandelions grows

Where the ducks are in a flux

And the bee stuffs its nose

It's on the edges, in sedges, in hedges

It's on the edges of things 

That life really shows

In dragon fly fledges, in Lily pad pledges

In sedges, in hedges

On the edges of things

Is that your sex face?

 Is that your sex face she said to me

Because I think I've seen it

Somewhere on TV

Yes that was me I said with glee

You can turn me on

You can make me pee

In a golden rain of ecstasy

But first get me my brolly

My kingdom for a brolly

Oh it never rains but it pours

When you're doing sex tours

They should make new discoveries

Upon nudist colonies

Oh the natives came running 

Throwing their "spears" at Columbus

And he had to shoot them all

With his enormous blunderbuss

Was it my fault they ran at me he said

Quite miffed

All I did was set anchor at their shores

He said as their bodies bloodied up the cliffs

Oh sex and death and all of this

It really is a case of hit and miss

If you hit death you miss sex

And vice versa I guess

Though like a hit and run accident

She lay there bleeding

And I said I have forgotten my feeling

Let my put my death mask on

Ah now ask me again is that your sex face son?

I shall say yes, indeed it is

As there is no difference

In this petit mort

Except to let out breath and snort

Or gruffly guffaw like a lion or pig

Is that your sex face?, well yes I believe it is

Freeze dried

 tooting cartoon in his tomb

He knew how to relax

He was sure of death and taxes

Because he was freeze dried

Oh Maslow was an Egyptian with

His pyramid of needs

But you watch him turn to stone

When his account bleeds

Because he was freeze dried

Well the coffee in my cup

It comes straight from the beans

But it is not black but colour I have seen

Because it was freeze dried

Well I met the thief in the bar

And went home with him

In the get away car

He sure was as grim as coal tar

 BUT  he was freeze dried

Buttocks

 You buttocks, your buttocks

Your shins and your sandals

Your pins and your vandals

Your scandals of sleaze

Your buttocks or shuttocks

Or closeted muttocks

And tussocks of fussocks

And closets of ease

Oh come from your buttocks

Speak forth your rude shocks

ruttocks and rollicks and rolling your cheese

Down hillocks and hussocks

And hattocks and haystacks

And bayracks, and may slacks

In feysacks of peas

Or pick strawberry tea cakes

Remonstrance bees wax

Or flea tax on market,

Oh do park it please

Your buttocks I mean

Down on your seats

And now you are seated

Then listen well to me

buttocks

futtocks

hammocks

hat tricks

headstocks

shamrocks

bannocks

buttock

cassocks

destocks

Shepton Show

 A is for apple

Just a pure comedy song

Just the way we can grapple for where we go wrong

Live and be merry

Die and get long

Like the shadows in the orchards

When I was young

Cow play of the herd

Instinct, moo movement

Turd ringlet, who ever heard

Of a bull

With a ring in the end of his nose?

Shire horses suffolks

Built like tree trunks and their buttocks

Not even the endless toning in a gym

Could come up to the mark on him

His great grand daddy was an American Stallion

Brought over by the owners

Mustang, no mustang Sally

Drive your rodeo out of town

Clip, clop, tightly prigged

Pony tails of the braids

Like their riders so tight lipped with bit in mouth

And dressage horses,

slim of ankle

Not these tanks,

They have no fur for the clay earth

To clog in

Shoed

The reality of man!

Don't take your trash out

With me inside the can

I don't want to make a mistake but

I think I need a plan

I need to escape from

The Reality of Man

I try to see through your eyes

What I need to be

I don't know if I can

Or its possibility

There really should be 

much more to life than this

Oh I'm trying to escape

The Reality of Man

I need you to understand 

the home of the free

Is a place that I want to go

Whether you are with me

It is in my future plan

How motherly

I can't quite understand

The reality of man

Hope is a chariot that burns across the sky

And every fire fly lands in my eye

Anytime wisdom comes stepping at my door

I must say to wisdom I don't want you no more

Come take my hand, I'm waiting for you

To be wondering sweetly what we should do

And I hold out my best foot, and put it to the ground

And we walk down the aisle of

The reality of man!

Can you swing softly across

The barricade 

Where the wars and the bullets

Are all just manmade

And nothing in this nature can 

Follow this plan

That's why I must escape from

The Reality..

The reality of man

Oh you maybe a leader

Of men or of fate

You can be the seeder 

of love or of hate

Just wait your turn

And mind you aren't late

For there's a train leaving nightly

From the citadel's gates

Don't shoot the messenger

You know his life's bate

To catch the truth teller

Who lies on a silver plate

 You shouldn't try and do things 

just because you can

You need an escape from

The Reality of man

Cosmic lightning crashing

Sprite, elves and blue jets

Dancing in the thrashing

Thunder in the vets

Dogs howling outright

Will be your best friend if he can

But even he must escape from

The reality of man! 

Life will do you in

 Life will do you in

Every last little sin

That you can't be without

That you can't be within

Every laughing lout

In the Tavern inn

Life will do you in

Hear the postman shout

A letter for Miss Gin

Are you in or are you out

He's no doubt

That she is in

Life will do you in