Baby, baby

 I've got five fingers

I've got five bananas

I banana

I see one finger

One Gorilla

She said her name was Baby

I said is that with an E or I

She said why changes I

in the plural

Every time you smile

I said now don't you mean simile

No I mean baby

Now you'll tell me its a synonym

No actually it's a pseudonym

Oh I thought it was an alias

Like Baby face

or Julius Caesar

SO are you a singular women

No she said I'm a plural woman

All women are in me

I contain multitudes

We are all just leaf then

Now don't you mean leaves when

The wind blows millions

The trees contain multitudes

Climate change carol

 Wishing for a warm Christmas with no ice upon the trees

There'll be no need for log fires

It will be 35 degrees

And Rudolph will need a shave

Better get a camel in for hire

Because the climate change is coming

Nothing left to save from the fire

Well be hanging up our flip flops

Dressing up in shorts, 

We'll be as hot as rhyming hip-hops

Running in our JD sports

If you hear us carolling, 

It'll have Caribbean tingle

And the Jamaican rum barrelling

Will be our tropical jingle-jangle-jingle 

Light up the barbie we're going

Down under

It's blistering in Tinsel town 

And the decked halls are full of crazy thunder

Breaking all our humid brows

Under the mistletoe

kissing hot lips on cold ships

As the hair dryer wind blows

Up along the scorching streets

And whistles through the windows

Holly wreaths on the doors of nuclear families

Like in a nuclear fall out all sing so happily

Merry atomic baubles to you

I can't see a Partridge sitting in the tree

It's either fallen off his perch

Or flown North to the Arctic sea

Where glaciers are researched

But no scientist has found them yet

They are lost like needle in the burning haystack

Of the gulf stream jet

No more frost on window panes 

but the sea level is rising

Soon it'll be flowing up the country lanes

But let's not be the doom Sayers

Or merchants of ungrounded fears

There'll still be Mark's and Spencer's

And you'll have time to buy some beers

Just relax on your sofa while it's floating

And switch on the King's speech

Hell be uttering he's not for voting

In a climate where miscreants preach

And the equator is sweltering

There are forests on the Poles

And we'll all be for tightening our purse strings

While watching our pennies fall through ozone holes

The twelve days of Christmas revisited

 On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me

a Koala in a gum tree

On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me

Two polar bears

And a koala in a gum tree

On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me

Three arctic foxes

Two polar bears

And a koala in a gum tree

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me

Four snow leopards

Three arctic foxes

Two polar bears

And a Koala in a gum tree

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me

Five Forest fires 

Four snow leopards

Three arctic foxes

Two polar bears

And a Koala in a gum tree

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me

Six glaciers glazing

Five forests fires

Four snow leopards

Three arctic foxes

Two polar bears

And a Koala in a gum tree

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me

Seven seas arising

Six glaciers glazing

Five forest fires

Four snow leopards

Three arctic foxes

Two polar bears

And a Koala in a gum tree

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love sent to me

Eight deserts dying

Seven seas arising

Six glaciers glazing

Five forest fires

Four snow leopards

Three arctic foxes

Two polar bears

And a Koala in a gum tree

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me

Nine rains a raging

Eight deserts dying

Seven seas arising

Six glaciers glazing

Five forest fires

Four snow leopards

Three arctic foxes

Two polar bears

And a Koala in a gum tree

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me

Ten Hurricanes hurling

Nine rains a raging

Eight deserts dying

Seven seas arising

Six glaciers glazing

Five Forest fires

Four snow leopards

Three arctic foxes

Two polar bears

And a Koala in a gum tree

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me

Eleven women weeping

Ten Hurricanes hurling

Nine rains a raging

Eight deserts dying

Seven seas arising

Six glaciers glazing

Five forest fires

Four snow leopards

Three arctic foxes

Two polar bears

And a Koala in a gum tree

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me

Twelve men mismanaging

Eleven women weeping

Ten Hurricanes hurling

Nine rains a raging

Eight deserts dying

Seven seas arising

Six glaciers glazing

Five forest fires

Four snow leopards

Three arctic foxes

Two polar bears

And a Koala in a gum tree

At the end of the year

 Corn Stalks fall at the end of the year

and the crown of thorns bleeds in the ear

And the Holy sworn are not here or near

As the corn stalks fall at the failure of the years

And the brown earth mourns

And the leaves they cheer, for the end of the earth

The end of the year

And they hunker in holes, and they hold us so near

Where the corn stalks fall at the end of the year

And the teeth they rot and they go back to the ground

And the farmer's lot is not to be found

And the crows in the cot, and doves make their sound

At the end of the year when the leaves all turn brown

When the leaves all turn brown

And the sloes do come out

And the black berry's crown and then they do shout

And the willows they whisper and the birches they breathe

And the wind is a lister of the hills on its knees

And the nettles they sang and they danced in the breeze

And its all going down like a ship on the seas

Where the leaves turn brown and they catch in the eaves

And the corn storks fall down with their ears and their sheaves

And are scattered to the floor where the Robins are thieves

And they glean and they go, in step and toe, 

finding what they can find and never know

And they haul all the ground, and hold up the snow

As the corn stalks turn brown at the end of the show

Yes, the year's closing down, and everything must go

Ryme and Reason

 Oh the church bells chime

As the tap dancers clap

Foot against pine

In the old methodist hall

And the old piano drops

Pounding notes that fall

Like hammers down a well

Oh the Rhyme and reason of it all

What, where how and why

Of Christian beliefs or

Children who try

To dance in time to the teacher's call

Oh how we try, we do not sigh

The rhyme and reason of it all

Money

 The money we had and money we spent

The money, the money anyway

The money had come, and money did go

And the funny thing was on with the show

Oh on with the show, while the money does last

When the money gets thin, the money shall blast

Away all your hopes and your dreams in the clay

Oh the money did come and it went away

I am reaching for money, I am reaching for hope and glory

I am reaching in the pot of honey, at the end of the rainbow

Oh the money did come and the money did go

And the money never lasted so on with the show

And some people put the money above all

And some people reach and others they fall

Money, money, money and the castles of sand

That fall to the shore when the waves crash and land

Money is a bitch and money is a beach, 

And money is funny and so out of reach

Money comes and goes, just like the passing ships

Money is rich, money it skips

Money it plays, plays down the land

It plays in the rich, the rich fat hand

It falls from the sky, like manna of gold

It falls like the sunlight falls in the folds

Somethings it stays on, and somewhere it goes

Money it comes and money it goes

I want to be an artist and paint its portrait

I don't know if it'd be an ugly man of hate

It don't know if it'd be an innocent child

Who knows not what it does to the world and the wild

Money it should be put behind bars

It should be banned, like speeding cars

But money it will live on, long after I die

Money it comes, falls out of the sky

Some are rich and some are poor

And some want to fly and some want no more

Some have enough, and some don't have any

And some count on love, while others count the pennies 

work in progress

 I've got to tell you about how it came about

The nails were clawing

And the claw hammer did shout

On the snare drum appalling

The singers voice was flat

Then flouting indifference

In a hat after that

I must also mention he loved me

She said

The wood in the garden

Lawn mower in the shed

The eyes of an eagle circled above

But the property ladder was a

Tight fitting glove

Stair way to heaven

And a staircase in Clevedon

And Portishead predicted

The slow rebirth

The steamers were steaming

Ferries crossed the Severn

Chains were hauled by dockers